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You might be a swinger if?  

cc777z 68M/75F  
60 posts
6/9/2008 2:00 pm
You might be a swinger if?


76 Ways To Tell If You Are A Swinger

1. Giggling to yourself at the office when your co-workers tell you
how wonderful their weekend was.. If only they knew.

2. Before traveling somewhere on business or to visit relatives you
look up couples in the area.

3. You have a lot of friends all over the world.

4. You come home with that "There's Something About Mary"
hairstyle.

5. When going to a strip club with your guy friend's, instead of your
wife, it seems like a ridiculous waste of time and money.

6. Your and the baby-sitter ask why Mommy already has her coat
on when she comes out of the bedroom every Saturday night.

7. Wondering how to explain to the neighbors why 10 couples show up
on a Saturday night carrying over night bags, blankets, pillows and
don't leave until early Sunday afternoon…

8. You never open the garage door until you're in the car with the
doors closed.

9. You both turn your head to watch the hot woman walking down the
street!

10. At the gym shower, you're the only one with shaved balls.

11. You make plans to meet a "normal" couple at a nice restaurant and
realize you have absolutely nothing you can wear.

12. You spend more time grooming your privates than most porn stars.

13. You only know couples by their first names and e-mail addresses.

14. Many of your pictures are from different hotel rooms and in quite
a few you have a convention wrist band on.

15. Your nightstand drawer is full of bar napkins with couple's names
and .

16. You are sending out online Christmas cards to people with names
like: dareustwo wifewetandbi and xoticcouple.

17. All of a sudden.. you have friends in Minnesota, Utah, West
Virginia and New Mexico.

18. At work when someone tells a risqué adventure, most are shocked
or stunned and you say "Cool !"

19. You are running out of reasons to tell your "normal" friends why
you can't go out with them.

20. You go to Jamaica once a year and "Hedo" means something to you.

21. You close an e-mail to your sister with Bi Bi.

22. You closet is filled with 5" high heeled shoes.. and you have
more lingerie than most department stores.

23. You are running out of excuses to tell your baby-sitter why you
come home at 4am on Saturday nights/Sunday mornings and have a
Freshly Fucked look.

24. Every bottle of liquor in your house has a big sticker with your
membership number or couple's name on it.

25. You see a really hot girl walking down the street and you say to
yourself, I wonder if she'll do my wife !

26. You're walking down the street and your wife hits you for NOT
telling her about the hot girl you were looking at.

27. You're at the bar and someone asks you to take them home, and you
say "No problem, but only if my wife can play too".

28. You and your wife see a hot chick and bet who could fuck her
first.
KILRTOY - CHATSWORTH CA

29. When your wife says it's ok to bring home that hottie who walks
her by your place as long as she can fuck her too.
TREBORBG - TUCSON AZ

30. You get all excited and rush down to the local community center
advertising a swap meet and find out its baseball cards.
FUNEXEC35 - MINNEAPOLIS MN

31. Your adolescent have more hair on their privates than you
do!!
OH2BREADY - MONTREAL, QUEBEC

32. You refer to your play friends as couples (Rich and Joyce, Frank
and Jennifer). Example - "Frank, of Frank and Jennifer, called
today". Our asked why we refer to some of our friends this way!
LOL
CALCOUPLE - REDLANDS CA

33. Whenever you go out, you always throw a small overnight bag in
the car .... "just in case".
MNSPITFIRE - SAINT PAUL MN

34. You have more rings on your privates than you do on your fingers.
OH2BREADY - MONTREAL, QUEBEC

35. All your links on your computer has something to do with finding
couples, toys, clothes and places to go on vacation to explore your
wild side.
CHINA - CHERRY HILLS VIL CO

36. When your birthday or Christmas comes up, there are more presents
that can't be opened in front of the family, than there are that can
be.
JANDW - FARMINGTON MN

37. When birthday surprise parties take on a whole new meaning.
JANDW - FARMINGTON MN

38. You have numerous pictures of various couples naked, before you
meet them. FUNMNCPL3132 - COTTAGE GROVE MN

39. Your wife spends more time checking out the waitress at the
family restaurant than you. FUNMNCPL3132 - COTTAGE GROVE MN

40. Your straight husband shops for his underwear at Gay Men's Store
where there is an unlimited selection of makes, styles, colors and
fabrics.
OH2BREADY - MONTREAL, QUEBEC

41. If are grocery shopping, and supposed to be checking your food
out, not the couple in front of you or the check-out gal
CHINA - CHERRY HILLS VIL CO

42. You always carry two condoms in your purse every where you
go...just in case.
PHOENIXSIERRA - CASTRO VALLEY CA

43. All your normal friend ask why they are never invited to your
parties.
MIKNKELL - OAK PARK HEIGHTS MN

44. When your walks by the computer area and asks what LL means
on the screen?
KINKYHAIR2002 - MINNEAPOLIS MN

45. You are both well over 55 and don't look a day over 40 and don't
seem to be aging a bit. Straight friends look old enough to your
parent's friends. They think you are getting younger and want to know
your secrets.
OH2BREADY - MONTREAL, QUEBEC

46. When your "normal" friends accuse you of being swingers and you
try and stumble through some lame reply only to realize they were
only joking about you having a hottub. Another close call. Lol
HOTCPL4U - GRAND ISLAND NE

47. When you are out with the guys and a hot woman walks by and
instead of saying "wow, I would love to take that for a ride", you
say "wow, that would look great on my wife" Thats when the guys turn
to you and say "Yeah right in your dreams!" and all you can do is
smile and tell yourself how lucky you are to be who you are
LUV2KISSU - ELK RIVER MN

48. your digital camera batteries are always fully charged and ready
to go!
PETERNDIANE - NEWBURY PARK CA

49. You start to wonder whether your wife ever did have pubic hair,
or if she is even capable of growing any!
PETERNDIANE - NEWBURY PARK CA

50. You have an entire drawer filled with assorted condoms in various
sizes and colours... and YOUR husband has a vasectomy!
PETERNDIANE - NEWBURY PARK CA

51. All of your bras are one size too small (and you like'em that
way!)
PETERNDIANE - NEWBURY PARK CA

52. You have more "private" photo albums than family ones.
PETERNDIANE - NEWBURY PARK CA

53. At your "normal parties", no one can use "the Master
Bathroom"
because you're afraid someone will notice the webcam bolted to the
wall in your bedroom on the way!
PETERNDIANE - NEWBURY PARK CA

54. You're constantly afraid that a "straight friend" will pop-in
one
of your videos that you forgot to hide!
PETERNDIANE - NEWBURY PARK CA

55. You let the answering machine pick-up because don't know whether
to answer, "hello", or "Hey Baby!"
PETERNDIANE - NEWBURY PARK CA

56. You make bets with other swinging friends as to how long it will
take to 'corrupt' your cute 'straight' girlfriends!
LOOKING4U2B3RD - EDEN PRAIRIE MN

57. You lay odds, while setting at the bar, if they are swingers or
they are not swingers.
SHOWMECOUPLE - LAKE LOTAWANA MO

58. Beating around the bush with your normal friends trying to figure
out if they're interested in swapping or not…….without giving away
the fact that you're a swinger.
SAVAGEHILLS - COLUMBUS GA

59. When you're in a public place and hear someone say something that
sounds similar to your screen name and you start getting paranoid
that someone recognizes you off the Internet.
SAVAGEHILLS - COLUMBUS GA

60. When your at a swinger club and don't recognize another couple
until you see them with their clothes off.
SAVAGEHILLS - COLUMBUS GA

61. When your swinger friends and your normal friends are at the
house at the same time and your normal friends ask the question "So
how do ya'll know each other."
SAVAGEHILLS - COLUMBUS GA

62. When your parents / babysitter asks "So why are you going there
for the weekend? That seems like a weird place to take a vacation."
SAVAGEHILLS - COLUMBUS GA

63. When you come home from a long party weekend with strange
underwear in your luggage and just laugh about it.
SAVAGEHILLS - COLUMBUS GA

64. When the Gynecologist looks at your wife funny for asking for
Birth Control and asks "But I thought your husband had a vasectomy"
as he shuffles through papers in your file.
SAVAGEHILLS - COLUMBUS GA

65. When your paranoid that you're 12 year old is going to figure out
your login password as well as the screen saver password.
SAVAGEHILLS - COLUMBUS GA

66. You get really excited when a new couple joins the site that
lives really close to you…."Honey, come here and look at this
couple!"
SAVAGEHILLS - COLUMBUS GA

67. Your spouse tells you about a new person at work but prefaces the
conversation with "No, we can't screw them."
SAVAGEHILLS - COLUMBUS GA

68. You start having withdrawals after two days without Internet
access.
SAVAGEHILLS - COLUMBUS GA

69. You spend more than 5 minutes discussing how you're going to win
the upcoming photo contest.
SAVAGEHILLS - COLUMBUS GA

70. Someone asks where your staying when you go to Jamaica and your
like "Crap, I forgot the name of the resort….but its supposed to be
really nice."
SAVAGEHILLS - COLUMBUS GA

71. Your co-workers ask you to bring back a lot of pictures from your
vacation and all you can do is giggle.
SAVAGEHILLS - COLUMBUS GA

72. When you come back from vacation and the only place where you got
sunburned was where your tan-lines use to be.
SAVAGEHILLS - COLUMBUS GA

73. You screw up and make plans with one couple for Saturday night
and then find out that you're spouse made plans with another couple.
Then it dawns on you that this is not a problem, it's an Orgy.
SAVAGEHILLS - COLUMBUS GA

74. Your boss wonders why you're going to Orlando or Las Vegas "in
the middle of summer for God's sake!"
BUNNYKISSER - SAN DIEGO CA

75. You keep the half-gallon size Listerine and 50 Dixie cups in each
of your bathrooms.
Steve and Lyn, WA

76. You've been married over 20 years and people still ask if you are
newly-weds.
Scott & Linda, WA

77. When you hear that friends are coming over unexpectedly, you
ignore the kitchen and living room and quickly tidy the bedroom and
change the hot tub filter.

jaytr 49M
47 posts
7/20/2011 5:50 pm

Oh my, quite the list, thanks, enjoyed it!


ahappycpl 54M/55F
190 posts
9/2/2010 11:04 pm

You are right I guess we are some sort of swingers if our friends only new


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