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You might be a swinger if?
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You might be a swinger if? 76 Ways To Tell If You Are A Swinger 1. Giggling to yourself at the office when your co-workers tell you how wonderful their weekend was.. If only they knew. 2. Before traveling somewhere on business or to visit relatives you look up couples in the area. 3. You have a lot of friends all over the world. 4. You come home with that "There's Something About Mary" hairstyle. 5. When going to a strip club with your guy friend's, instead of your wife, it seems like a ridiculous waste of time and money. 6. Your and the baby-sitter ask why Mommy already has her coat on when she comes out of the bedroom every Saturday night. 7. Wondering how to explain to the neighbors why 10 couples show up on a Saturday night carrying over night bags, blankets, pillows and don't leave until early Sunday afternoon… 8. You never open the garage door until you're in the car with the doors closed. 9. You both turn your head to watch the hot woman walking down the street! 10. At the gym shower, you're the only one with shaved balls. 11. You make plans to meet a "normal" couple at a nice restaurant and realize you have absolutely nothing you can wear. 12. You spend more time grooming your privates than most porn stars. 13. You only know couples by their first names and e-mail addresses. 14. Many of your pictures are from different hotel rooms and in quite a few you have a convention wrist band on. 15. Your nightstand drawer is full of bar napkins with couple's names and . 16. You are sending out online Christmas cards to people with names like: dareustwo wifewetandbi and xoticcouple. 17. All of a sudden.. you have friends in Minnesota, Utah, West Virginia and New Mexico. 18. At work when someone tells a risqué adventure, most are shocked or stunned and you say "Cool !" 19. You are running out of reasons to tell your "normal" friends why you can't go out with them. 20. You go to Jamaica once a year and "Hedo" means something to you. 21. You close an e-mail to your sister with Bi Bi. 22. You closet is filled with 5" high heeled shoes.. and you have more lingerie than most department stores. 23. You are running out of excuses to tell your baby-sitter why you come home at 4am on Saturday nights/Sunday mornings and have a Freshly Fucked look. 24. Every bottle of liquor in your house has a big sticker with your membership number or couple's name on it. 25. You see a really hot girl walking down the street and you say to yourself, I wonder if she'll do my wife ! 26. You're walking down the street and your wife hits you for NOT telling her about the hot girl you were looking at. 27. You're at the bar and someone asks you to take them home, and you say "No problem, but only if my wife can play too". 28. You and your wife see a hot chick and bet who could fuck her first. KILRTOY - CHATSWORTH CA 29. When your wife says it's ok to bring home that hottie who walks her by your place as long as she can fuck her too. TREBORBG - TUCSON AZ 30. You get all excited and rush down to the local community center advertising a swap meet and find out its baseball cards. FUNEXEC35 - MINNEAPOLIS MN 31. Your adolescent have more hair on their privates than you do!! OH2BREADY - MONTREAL, QUEBEC 32. You refer to your play friends as couples (Rich and Joyce, Frank and Jennifer). Example - "Frank, of Frank and Jennifer, called today". Our asked why we refer to some of our friends this way! LOL CALCOUPLE - REDLANDS CA 33. Whenever you go out, you always throw a small overnight bag in the car .... "just in case". MNSPITFIRE - SAINT PAUL MN 34. You have more rings on your privates than you do on your fingers. OH2BREADY - MONTREAL, QUEBEC 35. All your links on your computer has something to do with finding couples, toys, clothes and places to go on vacation to explore your wild side. CHINA - CHERRY HILLS VIL CO 36. When your birthday or Christmas comes up, there are more presents that can't be opened in front of the family, than there are that can be. JANDW - FARMINGTON MN 37. When birthday surprise parties take on a whole new meaning. JANDW - FARMINGTON MN 38. You have numerous pictures of various couples naked, before you meet them. FUNMNCPL3132 - COTTAGE GROVE MN 39. Your wife spends more time checking out the waitress at the family restaurant than you. FUNMNCPL3132 - COTTAGE GROVE MN 40. Your straight husband shops for his underwear at Gay Men's Store where there is an unlimited selection of makes, styles, colors and fabrics. OH2BREADY - MONTREAL, QUEBEC 41. If are grocery shopping, and supposed to be checking your food out, not the couple in front of you or the check-out gal  CHINA - CHERRY HILLS VIL CO 42. You always carry two condoms in your purse every where you go...just in case. PHOENIXSIERRA - CASTRO VALLEY CA 43. All your normal friend ask why they are never invited to your parties. MIKNKELL - OAK PARK HEIGHTS MN 44. When your walks by the computer area and asks what LL means on the screen? KINKYHAIR2002 - MINNEAPOLIS MN 45. You are both well over 55 and don't look a day over 40 and don't seem to be aging a bit. Straight friends look old enough to your parent's friends. They think you are getting younger and want to know your secrets. OH2BREADY - MONTREAL, QUEBEC 46. When your "normal" friends accuse you of being swingers and you try and stumble through some lame reply only to realize they were only joking about you having a hottub. Another close call. Lol HOTCPL4U - GRAND ISLAND NE 47. When you are out with the guys and a hot woman walks by and instead of saying "wow, I would love to take that for a ride", you say "wow, that would look great on my wife" Thats when the guys turn to you and say "Yeah right in your dreams!" and all you can do is smile and tell yourself how lucky you are to be who you are LUV2KISSU - ELK RIVER MN 48. your digital camera batteries are always fully charged and ready to go! PETERNDIANE - NEWBURY PARK CA 49. You start to wonder whether your wife ever did have pubic hair, or if she is even capable of growing any! PETERNDIANE - NEWBURY PARK CA 50. You have an entire drawer filled with assorted condoms in various sizes and colours... and YOUR husband has a vasectomy! PETERNDIANE - NEWBURY PARK CA 51. All of your bras are one size too small (and you like'em that way!) PETERNDIANE - NEWBURY PARK CA 52. You have more "private" photo albums than family ones. PETERNDIANE - NEWBURY PARK CA 53. At your "normal parties", no one can use "the Master Bathroom" because you're afraid someone will notice the webcam bolted to the wall in your bedroom on the way! PETERNDIANE - NEWBURY PARK CA 54. You're constantly afraid that a "straight friend" will pop-in one of your videos that you forgot to hide! PETERNDIANE - NEWBURY PARK CA 55. You let the answering machine pick-up because don't know whether to answer, "hello", or "Hey Baby!" PETERNDIANE - NEWBURY PARK CA 56. You make bets with other swinging friends as to how long it will take to 'corrupt' your cute 'straight' girlfriends! LOOKING4U2B3RD - EDEN PRAIRIE MN 57. You lay odds, while setting at the bar, if they are swingers or they are not swingers. SHOWMECOUPLE - LAKE LOTAWANA MO 58. Beating around the bush with your normal friends trying to figure out if they're interested in swapping or not…….without giving away the fact that you're a swinger. SAVAGEHILLS - COLUMBUS GA 59. When you're in a public place and hear someone say something that sounds similar to your screen name and you start getting paranoid that someone recognizes you off the Internet. SAVAGEHILLS - COLUMBUS GA 60. When your at a swinger club and don't recognize another couple until you see them with their clothes off. SAVAGEHILLS - COLUMBUS GA 61. When your swinger friends and your normal friends are at the house at the same time and your normal friends ask the question "So how do ya'll know each other." SAVAGEHILLS - COLUMBUS GA 62. When your parents / babysitter asks "So why are you going there for the weekend? That seems like a weird place to take a vacation." SAVAGEHILLS - COLUMBUS GA 63. When you come home from a long party weekend with strange underwear in your luggage and just laugh about it. SAVAGEHILLS - COLUMBUS GA 64. When the Gynecologist looks at your wife funny for asking for Birth Control and asks "But I thought your husband had a vasectomy" as he shuffles through papers in your file. SAVAGEHILLS - COLUMBUS GA 65. When your paranoid that you're 12 year old is going to figure out your login password as well as the screen saver password. SAVAGEHILLS - COLUMBUS GA 66. You get really excited when a new couple joins the site that lives really close to you…."Honey, come here and look at this couple!" SAVAGEHILLS - COLUMBUS GA 67. Your spouse tells you about a new person at work but prefaces the conversation with "No, we can't screw them." SAVAGEHILLS - COLUMBUS GA 68. You start having withdrawals after two days without Internet access. SAVAGEHILLS - COLUMBUS GA 69. You spend more than 5 minutes discussing how you're going to win the upcoming photo contest. SAVAGEHILLS - COLUMBUS GA 70. Someone asks where your staying when you go to Jamaica and your like "Crap, I forgot the name of the resort….but its supposed to be really nice." SAVAGEHILLS - COLUMBUS GA 71. Your co-workers ask you to bring back a lot of pictures from your vacation and all you can do is giggle. SAVAGEHILLS - COLUMBUS GA 72. When you come back from vacation and the only place where you got sunburned was where your tan-lines use to be. SAVAGEHILLS - COLUMBUS GA 73. You screw up and make plans with one couple for Saturday night and then find out that you're spouse made plans with another couple. Then it dawns on you that this is not a problem, it's an Orgy. SAVAGEHILLS - COLUMBUS GA 74. Your boss wonders why you're going to Orlando or Las Vegas "in the middle of summer for God's sake!" BUNNYKISSER - SAN DIEGO CA 75. You keep the half-gallon size Listerine and 50 Dixie cups in each of your bathrooms. Steve and Lyn, WA 76. You've been married over 20 years and people still ask if you are newly-weds. Scott & Linda, WA 77. When you hear that friends are coming over unexpectedly, you ignore the kitchen and living room and quickly tidy the bedroom and change the hot tub filter. |
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Oh my, quite the list, thanks, enjoyed it!
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You are right I guess we are some sort of swingers if our friends only new
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