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Blogs > divawoman4real > My Blog

How to turn down sexual requests politely!  

divawoman4real 67F
73 posts
11/9/2008 11:36 am
How to turn down sexual requests politely!
The other evening I was invited out by a guy whom I meet on this site. After our initial first meeting was over and we were leaving the coffee shop. He asked if he could come by my place. Isaid no in a polite way, but felt obligated to explain why. I didn't even though I did want to tell him my reasoining. So instead I sent him an e-mail the next day citing my reasons for declining a sexual romp with him.
Tell me how do other's handle this situation. And did I do the correct thing or not?
DivaWoman4real

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waitnforu1967 56F

11/9/2008 12:13 pm

 I have been in your shoes before as well. I think each man takes it differently...I think it is better to put your feelings in an email...its easier to swallow. If you had allowed him to come over after coffee that is something different and that would have deserved a face to face confrontation.
I think you did the right thing.


divawoman4real replies on 11/9/2008 1:31 pm:
I find that it is difficult to say to someone I don't think that we're compatiable in person so it's much easier for me to do so over an e-mail!
DivaWoman4real

native46dd 64F

11/9/2008 12:26 pm

 Girl I am with you. You did the right thing. A one time meeting sometimes does not make an automatic deal for sex or a relationship. It is basically an interview for each other to see if your compatible in many ways including the sex. After working in corrections both juvenile and adult, there are a lot of wierdos out there (not all folks on here are wierd- just seen my share in this line of work for years) stalkers, , molesters and they would all rather do it in private than public. The email was ok. Face to face would be harder to handle. Stick to your guns and convictions girl. And you do not have to go into a long list of reasos why your not compatible, Just say we are not compatible and let it be. If he is a man he can take it.

Good luck on finding your right match.
Native46dd
The Key to desire is starts in the mind


divawoman4real replies on 11/9/2008 1:36 pm:
I'd like to think that I'm a good judge of character, and can tell if someone's really weird upon the phone conversation. Sometimes you can tell from that. That's why I like to talk to the person I meet on-line over the phone first, and then I insist on a meeting for coffee or a cold drink. This weeds out the crazies from the normal folks out there. Hopefully but one can never ever be too careful nowadays.
Thanks for your comments,
DivaWoman4real

WhiskeyTango100 51M

11/9/2008 12:51 pm

 You did the right thing. And, you were honest.
"The Beatings Will Continue, Until Morale Improves...."


divawoman4real 67F
113 posts
11/9/2008 1:39 pm

 Thank-you for your comments. And the words of encouragement.
DivaWoma4real
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ojnbr 53M

11/25/2008 4:25 pm

 divawoman4real i think u did the rite thing if u didnt like him y being him home ,i hope u made him feel like a ass the next day , tell him one thing if u didnt invite him y did he ask , Talk to u soon i hope


divawoman4real 67F
113 posts
11/28/2008 9:41 am

 No actually the subject never came up again. This same gentleman did e-mail me again asking what I wanted to d! I told him to go out to dinner. That was the end of that I didn't hear from him again after that!\DivaWoman4real
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rm_topcat14 66M
3 posts
11/29/2008 4:19 am

 Honesty is always the best policy- if there is no chemistry not much you can do. That’s why I prefer to meet someone for lunch or a quick drink after work. No pressure and if there is no chemistry ‒ well nothing ventured nothing gained


divawoman4real 67F
113 posts
11/29/2008 7:28 am

 You are absolutely correct on that point TopCat! I usually ask to meet for a cup of tea or coffee. Then talk to see if we click and feel any chemistry between the two of us. If nothing is there we go our seperate ways no hard feelings. It's just that I have a difficult time when this occurs telling that person up front if their are no vibes going on!
DivaWomnan4real
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rm_pnznv 70M
Ask me for a photo
414 posts
11/29/2008 9:50 pm

 There's no right way or wrong, just what YOU do. I think it might have been better for him to ask if there was anything else you felt like doing; my approach is to be subtle because I'm not just about the sex anymore.


divawoman4real 67F
113 posts
11/30/2008 12:12 pm

 You're quite right. That would have been the better approach to the situation!
DIVAWOMAN4REAL
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divawoman4real 67F
113 posts
12/1/2008 2:56 pm

 Hi Blueeyes,
I'm always available to chat and or e-mail new friends. Unfortuantely I pretty well filled with new male friends in the intimacy department right now. But e-mail me sometime again soon okay!
DIVAWOMAN4REAL
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