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Blogs > DfrntStrokes > Paradoxical Perceptions

One Size Fits All  

DfrntStrokes 61M
3 posts
4/16/2011 8:53 am

Last Read:
2/19/2017 5:49 pm
One Size Fits All
While in my life as a whole, I may not have achieved balance, I find more and more that this concept that pervades my sexual thinking - at least my thinking regarding the interaction between playmates/partners.



Balance.

I enjoy taking the lead and being in charge, but I also enjoy following and discovering adventures determined by others. I really enjoy giving, but I would be lying if I said that I did not also enjoy receiving as well. I enjoy raw passionate animalistic sex, but also find that I enjoy slow sensual caressing and love-making. This list goes on and on, and I find that there are very few times when I settle in on only one area of the spectrum of options for extended periods of time. It depends upon the mood and the situation.

For me, the natural offshoot of this is that I am also a fan of a single standard or set of rules. What is good for the goose is good for the gander.

In this context I find it an interesting paradox that there are people who expect oral sex from their partner, but are less than willing to return the pleasure. That there are people who enjoy cumming in their partner's mouth, but find it disgusting to kiss them afterwards seems really odd. This list also goes on and on, and while the preceding list may not apply to many, far more seem to fall into the "trap" of finding two women sexually involved to be hot, sexy, and erotic, but are unwilling to apply the same adjectives to two men involved sexually. This glaring double standard seems out of place to me.

In for a penny in for a pound. If one situation is sexy, why are not both situations sexy. Or, if you find one situation to be not your cup of tea, does not the same standard apply to the other situation.

DfrntStrokes 61M
22 posts
4/16/2011 3:39 pm

 Thanks louandal2 for your thoughts, and ultimately I think I not only understand where you are coming from, but also agree - at least to a point.

First of all, any comments that I make or write about should always be seen in the context of to each there own, and individual mileage may vary. I can only speak to what makes sense to me, and what works for me. And in the words of Dennis Miller, it's just my opinion, I could be wrong. So in that context One Size definitely does not fit all.

While I am not sure that I would go so far as to use the word cheating, I do appreciate the value of pushing one's limits. I am fond of the phrase, "If you are not living on the edge, you are taking up too much room." There is a great thrill from pushing the envelope and making new discoveries. To some degree, my post had less to do with seeking any specific kind of symmetry, than a willingness to explore boundaries and seeking out the edges with a unified set of standards.

As to the oral dynamic that you describe between the two of you, I do not see this as really being in conflict with the point that I was trying (perhaps unsuccessfully) to make. It sounds to me like you two have explored the edges, and found where your likes and dislikes are, and have found a common ground that works for both of you. More power to you both.

The situation that you describe has balance - at least as I perceive it. Where things might start to slip away from balance, is if you both craved performing oral sex, but only one of you was interested/comfortable receiving. Even in this circumstance - limits are limits, and are to be respected. but it none-the-less the scales would be starting to tilt (in my view).

This ultimately brings me back to my point. While I appreciate that there are those that like to focus on one end of the spectrum, and hopefully find playmates and partners who compliment that preference. It is not where I find the greatest long-term satisfaction. That is to say that I can appreciate that there are those that might like to always be the dominant leader, and will therefore pair well with (an) individual(s) that prefer to always be the submissive follower. Good for them - I however prefer to at times be the leader (in this scenario), while at other times may like to be lead - personally I find that both have their charms.

So maybe at the end of the day my original post had two points disguised as one. 1) A personal general preference for balance, and 2) A general dislike for arbitrary double-standards, particularly when it comes to what is in or out of bounds although I think I simply don't like them in general.

Perhaps with a few more responses I will be able to work out and articulate what I was really trying to say in the first place.

Thanks again for your comment.


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