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What that could have been.
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What that could have been. Have you ever crossed paths with someone that you knew there was something between you, but you were never able to explore what that something might be? Then for years you are tormented by the thought of what could have been along with a lingering suspicion that person is experiencing the same torment? Was I just a fleeting moment for them, or do they have the same regrets as I. I would suspect that most, if not all of us have somehow had the same experience. Well as I get older, I realize how critical those moments actually were in shaping who I am. I have had the opportunity to reconnect with a few of those women over the years and I find more times than not, they had the same feelings I did, sometimes even stronger. I find it very interesting the different paths that life takes us down. So I would like to share a few of those stories with you and see if you have had similar experiences. G, as to protect the not so innocent, is the first story I will share. This was during high school and we had been very close friends from freshman year until our senior year. One night we both revealed to each other that we had feelings for each other more than just friends. At the time, she had told me she had been with two other guys before me and I had only been with one girl. I knew at the time that she was a bit of a head case. She was and is still a wonderful person. She just had emotional scars from childhood that maybe she still hasn’t dealt with properly. I say that to preface the fact that I knew the relationship probably wouldn’t last long. But with the feelings I had for her at the time, and the need for a 17 boy to get his pecker wet, I went with it. We had sex twice before we ended the relationship. I can’t even remember why now. We finished school, I joined the Navy, and we parted ways. On good terms, but we still lost contact for years. When I got out of the Navy and came back to Texas with a fiancé, G stopped by one day. I thought nothing of the visit as we were friends before we were lovers. But I didn’t hear from her again until the age of facebook and my 20 year class reunion. So we are at the class reunion catching up and G got a little too drunk. She didn’t openly come on to me, but it was pretty obvious that she had some hidden feelings for me, obvious enough that her husband and my wife were annoyed by her. I didn’t think much of it at the time and dismissed my wife and G’s husbands concerns as jealousy of old high school lovers. Then a few months later I get a message from her on facebook, we catch up with small talk and blah, blah… Then the subject of “us” came up. In that conversation I find out some very interesting things about her and myself. She had not been with anyone before me and I was the last man in the world to give her an orgasm. WHAT??? Really? She had spent her 20’s trying to find that feeling again but became frustrated and settled with her current husband. The random visit she made shortly after I got out of the Navy was to see if I was available. So what I thought was a nice passionate experience, actually shaped her life. We talked about getting together and seeing each other privately for about a year but never made it happen. Now W was my first girl to go all the way with. My cherry popper. It was my freshman year and she was in 8th grade but more experienced sexually than I was by a long shot. We dated for about 3 months and had sex every chance we could. And I do mean every chance. As the relationship lost it’s luster, the sex didn’t. We decided to split but made an agreement to be lifelong fuck buddies. We kept that arrangement thru high school. Even if one of us was involved, we made ourselves available to each other. Just as with G, I left for the Navy and lost contact with her until Facebook. So early in those first messages, I asked her if we still needed to honor our agreement from high school, she responded by saying, “I thought you would never ask”. With both of us being married, it was difficult to arrange. But we did manage to meet a few times and 23 years later, that fire burns every bit as hot as it did back then. So this one was a very mutual feeling. L was my first love, and probably my only true love. We dated for a few months before I met W. L is still one of the most attractive women I have ever known. Her sex appeal, to me, is just off the charts. Any person would find her attractive, but I found her irresistible. She grew up better off than I did and her family didn’t care for me. I can’t really blame them, I was a hellion at the time. Well I thought we were doing great until out of the blue, she dumped me. She dumped me hard and left me hanging, not knowing why. I had questions about that for years. What did I do wrong? What could I have done different? Can I make her feel the way she used to? Or at least the way I thought she did? So like G, I spent my life trying to find that feeling again but ended up settling. Well along came facebook again… She finally gave her reason for dumping me, her older brother didn’t like me. That simple. Ouch. I would jump at the chance to be with her to this day, but she saw it more as a fleeting moment. Not so mutual here. And for the record, I still love and care for all three of them. |
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Two great stories. I actually have two very similar experiences. I appreciate the detail you included and look forward to reading more from you. Maybe we can chat on IM sometime and compare notes. I saw your recent entry in the "most dangerous taboo" group post. Again - I have a very similar story that I experienced - not a niece, but a younger daughter of a family friend. Very simliar - we should exchange notes sometime. Thanks for sharing, LT
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You are too kind. I thought this was very poorly written, but I am glad you were able to get the point I was trying to make. I believe everyone comes into our life for a reason, be it good or bad. More importantly, we also have the chance to make an impression on everyone we meet. So don't miss an opportunity to make it a positive impression.
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