Sweet Tea And Southern Ways
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Posted:Jan 12, 2009 10:08 pm
Last Updated:Jun 24, 2011 5:49 am
3328 Views
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[/COLOR Today was the day I realized I was still at war with the Northern visitors to our Southern Paradise we call North Carolina . I am sitting at my favorite table by the window waiting on my Ham, potatoe salad, and a bowl of fresh collard greens when a busload of Yankees come marching in with their noses in the air like they smell something dirty in the place. You can tell they aren't from here cause they are way overdressed, scarves around their necks.and furlined boots half way up they legs like they was in Alaska or something . Well this little eating joint has an all day buffet of Southern cooking and the usual soul food, collards with fat back and corn bread, fried chicken, the works if ya know what I mean . They don't have a menu, just what you see on the buffet is what you choose from and of course all the sweet tea you can handle without floating outa the door, lol. Dorothy is the head waitress so she eases over and asked them what they will have to drink and they all say,"Tea". So she heads back to the kitchen for the tea, you know, the cold kind with lots of ice and some lemon on the side if ya be wanting it. She swings back in and puts a glass in front of everybody at those two tables and then proceeds to pull out the ordering pad and ask's them if they want the Southern buffet or the Grandma's side board, which is the soul food on the side table. One of the men said he would look at the menu after he got his tea, to which old Dorothy replied,"Your tea is right beside your plate Hun". In the snottiest voice I swear I ever heard he said,"My tea has to be piping hot with two lumps of sugar and three drops of lemon". Now here it was 1 o'clock and the place was full so it was a bit noisy but when he said that you could hear the fatback curl right up and hide, I swear you could  . Now old Dorthy was born and raised here in NC and she didn't believe in biting her tongue for nobody and she dang sure wasn;t gonna start today. She put her pad back in her pocket, tucked her pencil behind her ear and very politely asked this fella,"Mister? Do you know where in blue blazes you are"? I sat my tea down and turned my chair a bit so I could see old Dorothy give this fella a geographical lesson and hell I thought a little bit of encouragment was called for so I very innocently looked over at Dorothy's husband and said,"You can't expect no more from a bunch of Yankees Mr. John". The fat was in the fire then and so was the hell in old Dorothy, HeHe!!! She Pointed at the buffet,"That's what we serve here in the South every single day and if you want a menu, you had best put your coats back on, haul your asses back out to that bus you rode in on and find the Queen's palace in england if you want piping hot tea with damn lumpy sugar in it". Now , we wasn't out right laughing at the yankees but we did have our hands or napkins over our mouths to stifle the snickers we were all trying not to let out, you know politness is a Southern thing instilled in us from birth . Mr John very calmy said,"Yall might want to have some of our tea afore you leave. It's a mighty long way to England from what I hear". Lord know's I tried but I couldn't help it. "Mr John, that iced tea will go along way in helping them wash that stuff they eat called Spotted Dick down". The stares everybody leveled on them yankees was something awful I tell ya!! Old Dorothy looked at me, then looked at Mr John and said, "I think we all out of tea and the pump run dry and yall are gonna have to leave here hungry and thirsty". Mr John walked over to the door and turned the open sign around and said,"We closing up now cause if we ain't got sweet tea no sense being open. Let me help yall with your coats". It took a minute but our visitors realized they were being politely told to leave and as far as this place was concerned, they didn't have to ever come back!! SCORE 1 for the South  
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Are You A Real Friend?
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Posted:Jan 10, 2009 11:21 am
Last Updated:Jan 10, 2009 3:51 pm
3092 Views
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[/COLOR If you are my friend I will help you when I can. If you are my friend I like talking to you. If you are my friend and you live close enough, I want to chill with you sometimes. If you are my friend I won't tell your secrets to a living person. If you are my friend I will always have time to listen to your problems, triumph's and yes, your bitching also. If you are my friend and want my advice I will give it to you. If you are my friend and need somewhere to stay my home is your home. If you are my friend and need a babysitter for your I will do that for you. If you say you are my friend and then stop talking to me, then I wonder. If you say you are my friend and don't answer my calls or don't call me anymore, I wonder. If you say you are my friend and I never hear from you again I wonder if you were ever really my Friend??? Makes you wonder who your real friends are don't it? 
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Going Blind
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Posted:Jan 5, 2009 7:37 pm
Last Updated:Jan 13, 2009 8:52 pm
3192 Views
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[/COLOR Just minding my bizness, going down 70 with my little load of logs and this Minivan whips by me. Well, a few minutes later I catch up to it and we ride side by side. Next damn thing I know the window comes down on the passenger side and a pair of blue striped drawers are flapping in the breeze . Honestly though, if I was gonna use my drawers for a smoke signal, I would at least keep a lacy, racy red pair on hand, ya know what I mean ? I reckon this gal didn't realize I was of the female persuasion when she hollered out the window for me to show her my c**ck, lmfao. Well, I eased my window down so she could get a damn good look at me and realize I COULND'T show her my wiener going down the highway cause I didn't have that kind of equipment. Her eyes like to have popped out of her head when it hit her, but she was quick with a comeback, she whipped her shirt up to show me some, looked like b-cups, and yelled for me to show her my boobs. Yeah, Right!!! Here I am running 75 miles an hour with a load of logs and this pyscho bitch thinks I am gonna snatch my shirt up and flash her?? I shook my head No at her and started to roll my window up when she turned around and mooned me, ass spread wide as the Grand Canyon!!! The blindness was setting in big time, twin moons of cottage cheese staring me straight in the face..OMG!!!! I slipped my shades on as I hit the OverDrive button and left Miss Cheese Ass in the dust, probably wondering what scared the hell out of me. If she moons herself in the mirror, I bet she will keep them butt ugly blue striped drawers on her ass from now on. Reckon My eyesight needs to be checked soon. I can still see a halo of white when I close my eyes lmfao.  
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Am I A Racist Bigot??
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Posted:Dec 30, 2008 7:26 am
Last Updated:Jan 3, 2009 7:28 pm
3968 Views
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I opened my e-mail this morning and there was a note from a very handsome, articulate African American gentleman, or so I thought at the time, who expressed interest in meeting me for some adult fun. Well, as I usually do, I replied to his e-mail explaining that I had no interest in an interracial sexual fling but would welcome his platonic friendship with no problem. He then sent another back accusing me of being, and I quote, "A white racist B***h." And he went on to say some other rather nasty things that I won't repeat. No, I don't like hip-hop music. No, I don't wear African American inspired clothing. Yes, I do read books written by African Americans. Yes, I have an African American doctor. Yes, I have worked with and still do with African American people whom I consider my friends. Yes, one of my closest friends is African American. And Yes, I love my Brother-in-law, who is 6ft10 and African American. Why am I a racist just because I am not attracted to a sexual relationship with an African American? Yes, it is an adult site for sexual escapades but does that mean I have to prove I am not racist by sleeping with someone I have no attraction to what so ever? I won't lie and say that I am not angry because I am and I guess that's why I am writing this blog but I am mostly confused by my so called racist attitude from a person who knows absolutely nothing about me other than the fact I prefer having sex within my own race. If that makes me a racist bigot, so be it!!!! 
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He Came....He Went...Now What????
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Posted:Dec 26, 2008 8:44 pm
Last Updated:Dec 31, 2008 7:34 pm
3066 Views
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[/COLOR He slid his sleigh in with a few good suprises and then when he was leaving he dropped a few clunkers down the chimmney. Let's see now, some toe-socks,really thought they were dead and buried. 3 movies of the same title,Wonder if I would make some extra bucks on E-Bay?, 2 bottles of the cheapest wine I ever saw, even scared to cook with them, a 5 pound box of chocolates that I swear I saw last Valentine's Day, and a 12 cup coffee maker for I don't know what cause everybody, or so I thought,lmao, knows I don't drink that stuff. ughhhhh!!!! I have decided that when spring comes again that I will have a suprise yard sale. Put something in a box, tape it up and 3 dollars will be the price and HELL NO, It's NOT returnable under ANY circumstances. What profit I make will go to an airplane ticket to somewhere sunny and wet . That way when they want their money back I will be long gone just having a merry ole time, lol. Sounds like a plan to me. Now yall mark your calander for the second weekend in April for suprise specials at the DirtyLilTrucker yard sale. P.S. cash only and no personal checks accepted, and remember all items are as-is and non-returnable. CYA  
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Memory Lane........I Miss My Best Friend
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Posted:Dec 21, 2008 6:27 am
Last Updated:Dec 23, 2008 2:27 am
3135 Views
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[/COLOR I wandered onto that path just like I always do about this time of year, looking at the things I have done and the things I still want to do. Pulling out long ago memories from my past and thinking of the things that could have been or should have been if I had done things differently than I had. I never set out to be a truck driver but it happened and all in all that I wouldn't change, maybe took a few more roads than I did but overall, I would leave those memories alone. I just wish I had spent more time with my Mom before she left me as she was always my best friend and she really disliked my profession . She always worried that she would get that phone call in the middle of the night telling her I wouldn't never be making it home again. I love Christmas time but it also makes me sad. My Mom's Birthday was the 23rd of December so we always celebrated both of them at the same time with lots of love and laughter and all the little things she wanted but wouldn't ever tell us about, like that awful pink chair she loved that was plain hideous, but I went and bought it for her and even sat in it every time I visited just to make her smile and tease me about Pink being my color. My Momma was a simple country woman who saw the good in everyone and just assumed you would always do the right thing and even if you messed up she forgave you with a smile and a talking to. She always said people do and say things that aren't always understood by others but in the end it was all for a reason. I wish for myself that I was more like her but I am who I am and I have often wondered how many times she has looked down on me and whispered in my ear,"There is a reason this is happening June Ann, Now pay attention." So, I have learned not to rant and rave about my disappointments, my mistakes and the feeling of I should have went left when I went right. I miss my best friend more than I can ever tell yall about, so with this post I want to wish my Momma, a Merry Christmas and let her know how much I miss my BEST FRIEND. Merry Christmas Momma
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The Winter Blues.....I'm Feeling Them
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Posted:Dec 4, 2008 3:06 pm
Last Updated:Dec 31, 2008 7:36 pm
3385 Views
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[/COLOR I don't like the winter months at all. I miss the hot, sticky, sweaty days of summer... swimming, sunbathing, in the nude of course, lol, wearing my shorts and a bikini top, drinking an ice cold beer when it's 95 degrees and walking around my yard barefoot wondering if I'm going to mow my grass or buy some goats to keep the weed patch at bay. I miss the smell of my clothes coming straight off of the clothesline and smelling like sunshine and wind. I miss hearing the rain hit the top of my house and heading for the back door stripping my clothes off just so I could feel it hit my skin and cool me off like nothing else can even that wide open A/C. I miss the sand burning my feet, and the wind whipping my hair when I finally wade out of the ocean, the smell of coconut suntan lotion and all the umbrellas dotting the beach as far as I can see. I miss riding my nephew on my bareback by the river then letting Jupiter nibble grass while he and I make a couple of fishing poles with twine and junk talking about the biggest fish, and if you hear him tell it he ALWAYS catches a whale . No minnows for him. But the biggest thing I miss is DAYLIGHT!!!! I go to work in the dark, I come home in the dark and I'm starting to think I am turning into a vampire, all this damn darkness is twisting my mind!!! I think I need to move to California, lol. I sure will be glad when Summer comes back.....sighing
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Naughty Thoughts........Mmmmmmm
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Posted:Dec 1, 2008 8:48 am
Last Updated:Dec 13, 2008 4:41 am
4039 Views
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[/COLOR Have you ever been doing something and right in the middle BOOM!!! You start having an erotic fantasy start playing out in your mind?? . I'm talking the whole nine yards, from start to finish, kissing, fondling, licking, sucking, and then doing IT!! I do this all the time, but at first I thought I was turning into a complete Nympho , and didn't realize that it was, YES, normal. Maybe I am a wee bit oversexed BUT I now know that I won't have someone calling the sex addict police on me just because I am having fantasy sex while driving down the road thinking about a man licking chocolate off my nipples or pounding the breath out of me up against the bedroom wall>>!. Or the one laying on my hood with a hard one and a and nothing else, or that long legged man in my bathtub holding me in his lap and making me throw water all over the ceiling or.... awwwww hell I need a cold shower now hehe. . CYA in the shower{=} 
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Happy Gilmore.........The Happy Place
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Posted:Nov 30, 2008 6:41 am
Last Updated:Jan 9, 2009 4:22 pm
3212 Views
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[/COLOR After the big meltdown about Thanksgiving, as I'm sure you all read, I have taken Happy's advice and looked for and found my happy place . As I was never able to have of my own, my nephew means a whole heaping mess to me and I have found that he is my happy place when I am totally high balling into the deep end. When he throws his little arms around me and starts asking me, "Why this?", and "Why that?" I forget all about why I'm having a bad day and hope that the answers I give him will make him a better person and help him look at life as one big adventure instead of a serious undertaking of difficult choices that he must agonize about on a daily basis. He is a , a loving, questioning, adorable, loving little sprout who chases my blues away!!!! It really is true, ARE A GIFT. Teach them wisely and hug a today , It will make both of you feel sooooo much better. CYA .  
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WHY? WHY? WHY????????
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Posted:Nov 28, 2008 10:46 am
Last Updated:Dec 13, 2008 4:38 am
3108 Views
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Black and white. That's the way I look at things. What the hell does "Some things are in the grey area" mean? My opinion? BULLSHIT!! Right or wrong. Good or evil. Honest or dishonest. YES or NO.It's really simple. The left hand or the right. Nothing hard about it. Why can't I have a man who really understands me?? That I like hard rock. I don't want to fight about money and I want sexual gratification with out having to ask for it Goddammit!!!!! Do I really have to tell you if it's good??? Haven't you been paying attention for the last 15 damn years?? Why do we have to take turns be the one on top?? SCREW IT!!! Just pull my pants down and fuck me where ever we are at the moment!! I WILL LOVE IT!! REALLY, I WILL. Why can't I walk down the street and hold your hand and grin like an idiot?? Is it against the freaking law?? Is IT???? Why can't you lay in the bed on Sunday morning with your freaking coffee instead of getting up and driving to the damn gossip store?? I don't stimulate you enough to WANT to stay in the bed and say "screw the coffee, let me screw your brains out instead"?? Why can't you see that there is more to do when you get home except watch that freaking 60 inch big screen TV and fall asleep in that Goddamn recliner? Walk with me to the mailbox, sit on that huge deck you wanted so badly anything except watch TV 24/7!!!!! Why do I feel like my head is exploding from all the BULLSHIT I have to put up with to have 1 peaceful day on this damn planet??? WHaT DO I HAVE TO DO??????????????????
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The Hatfields and McKoys
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Posted:Nov 27, 2008 12:09 pm
Last Updated:Nov 30, 2008 6:44 am
3327 Views
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[/COLOR Every family has them, the practical jokers, the opinionated ones and the down right mean ones. I am talking about your family members yall. Oh yes I am but this time we gonna talk about MY motley crew. Both of my sisters are in the middle of divorces and the soon to be Exes and the current men in their lives are all at the table. Then throw in my Mamma's side of the family who all still live in the middle ages, then we have some friends who think they belong to me, a couple of my biker friends, and a few of my trucker friends and what do you have?? . Thanksgiving from the depths of hell!!!My sisters are spitting snake venom at their soon to be ex's, my uncle is screaming about interracial couples, which my youngest sister is part of, my biker friends are telling my trucker friends they can't drive to save Sunday, and my trucker friends are telling my other friends that the south is gonna whoop their collective asses if they don't eat the collard greens on the table and they are all a bunch of damn wussies!!! I am now sitting here thinking about whether or not I will even have another Thanksgiving dinner in my house before I kick the bucket and so far, and without the help of Jack Daniels, I am leaning towards the "NOT ON YOUR DAMN LIFE" side TYVM!!!
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. 1 finger in the green and 1 finger in the blue...Rainbow time everybody
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. Do yall have a certain tradition that you do that makes xmas an extra special time in your house? I would love to hear about it
