Infidelities
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Posted:Jul 30, 2009 8:54 pm
Last Updated:Nov 25, 2010 10:27 am
3398 Views
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If a man and wife aren't sexually compatible, why don't they agree to disagree, and move on to other people?
It's one thing to spice up your lovelife by checking out alternative lifestyles with your spouse. It's another to lie to and cheat on the person you're telling the world is your spouse, help-mate, and soulmate.
My understanding is that someone who is capable of cheating on his wife doesn't have much self-esteem. They have some issues to where they don't love themselves much, so they can't really know what it's like to truly love another.
The man I was involved with would inevitably call at the exact wrong moment. Once, he answered the phone and held a conversation with her at the same time he was dropping his belt for me. When I asked him how he could do this, he told me he loved his wife.
I'm really trying to understand this phenomenon, since I seem to attract this type of man. I get hit on by married men everywhere I go, plus so many of the men who are on sites like this.
It's not that I'm sitting around being judgemental of people trapped in bad marriages. It's just that, as a single woman, if all the good men are taken, if the good guys in bad marriages never seek their freedom, it cuts way down on the likelihood of my finding a fulfilling relationship.
Just think about all the poor sexually frustrated women out here doing without, while so many men's pent-up sexuality goes to waste.
Men could try getting their wives some help. Are her hormones out of whack? Is she psychologically blocked? has she gone through some physical changes, or is she just overworked and stressed? Are old psychological scars affecting the present, as in, was she as a young girl or something? If time is an issue, could you relieve her of some responsibilities? Hire a maid? Or is she angry about past his infidelities? Or his gambling/drinking/spending. If a man has exhausted all avenues of bringing his wife around to wanting to have sex with him, shouldn't he move on?
I'm just trying to understand why all the women who don't like sex are married to sexually viable men, while I'm at home playing with myself, and the single men I meet invariably turn out to have some degree of sexual dysfunction/inability to get it up.
My theory is that men marry the women who can do without sex, because they want a faithful wife who won't embarrass them by running around on them, so they marry the one they can't get to sleep with them until after they're married or at least engaged. Then, the men are suprised their wife doesn't turn into a nymphomaniac after he carries her over the threshold.
After many years of not getting enough, these men turn to the women they passed over when looking for a wife, but only for sexual satisfaction. Women like me, who really like sex with men. When I find a man I am attracted to, I want to give it up. A few afternoons in the sack with the man of my dreams, and maybe even regular phone calls if we don't demand too much, or complain about not getting the ring, Turkey days with mom, vacations with the , respectability, and any hope of social acceptance.
Meanwhile, the frigid wife is getting all the perks of marriage, plus sympathy from ladies in her Bible study group when she tells them about the little clues she's been finding that indicate her husband is being unfaithful. The frigid women get to accompany their husbands to weddings and fundraisers on Saturday nights; the woman on the side gets the occasional hot nooner. Without even knowing why, the wife then gets flowers. The lover is lucky if she gets a phone call during the holidays; the wife gets expensive clothes, a sportscar, and diamonds. The wife may be staying home getting fat, giving up wearing makeup with her hair cropped in a butch cut, watching soaps and indulging in hobbies while her husband earns a living for both of them.
Meanwhile the woman that's creaming her jeans thinking about being with him gets the occasional hour or two which don't even begin to satisfy her sexual cravings, much less her need for physical and emotional contact. The lover's working two jobs to try to save up for retirement, while wifey is planning carribbean vacations. The occasional hot sex is better than no sex at all, but that doesn't make it satisfying.
I see it all the time: either men are sticking around for the , or they decide it's cheaper to keep her. I see those scenarios all the time, but how is it fair?
Seems to me that cheating and affairs inevitably produce situations where both the wife and lover are unfulfilled in their relationship with the cheating man, while he gets to have his cake and eat it too.
It's just not fair!
Luv
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