Ramblings of an elite lamer.
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Posted:Jan 4, 2006 3:11 pm
Last Updated:Mar 24, 2006 8:51 am
878 Views
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I'm playing the drums, when my stick hits the edge of my snair, breaks it and hits me below the eye. Stunned, I pop up and trip over my hi-hats and almost fall on the cat. The pussy proceeds to scratch the hell outta me and run off.
On my way to a mirror to asses the damge, I stub my toe. As I lay on the ground laughing, I think to myself... I need to buy some more pepsi this week.
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I hope your teeth fall to the floor board biatch.
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Posted:Dec 28, 2005 3:48 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
891 Views
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It's lunch time... my day not so good until this moment. I'm driving on the highway in the middle lane. No one around me, no one in front of me. I'm doing about 80, rock'n away to tunes. Silver mustang behind me comes flying up on my ass like a kamikaze pilot about to complete a mission. The person gets right on my ass and is tailgating like a fat chasing an ice cream truck. Every lane open, me being in the middle, and this speed crazed biatch is obviously just trying to piss me off. I play the game, cuzz everyone knows this is my road.
I start to slow down, politely indicating to the other driver that I'm not intimidated. I slam on the gas and get my speed going again. Here comes my silver play toy again. I'm assuming at this point that their just trying to see if there are any scratches on my bumper cuzz they could of seen any blemishes, they were following so close. This whole time... not a car beside me, not one in front of me. I'm in the middle lane. We're the only two cars on the road. I lightly tap on the brakes, giving the impression to the other driver that I'm comfortable with my speed, and maybe they need to pick another lane. They slowed for bit, and went back to the fat shuffle on my ass. I slammed on the brakes, being somewhat annoyed at this point.
Silver jumps over into the right hand lane and starts to roll down the window. I don't see anyone at first until the window rolls all the way down. This woman... about 90 years old... with huge glasses that, was so short, that I was amazed she could even see over the steering wheel gives me the stare down. She proceeds to flip me off, and race on down the road.
I laughed my ass off for about 3 hours. This bitch just completely rocked, and I love her to death. She really made my day. I hope where ever you are, and whatever your doing, you have a smile on your face, Mustang.
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