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Guranteed? Turn-Ons 2/20/2005
Guranteed? Turn Ons:
<br>
<br>
A fabulous home cooked meal (with you for dessert!).
<br>
<br>
A quickie in a elevator.
<br>
<br>
Dirty talk during sex.
<br>
<br>
A perfect smile.
<br>
<br>
Having your underware ripped off!
<br>
<br>
A 90-minute ...
2 Comments, 348 Views,
20 Votes
,1.98 Score
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A misunderstanding ended in laughter 2/12/2005
Sex can be so mush, from the deepest sharing of love, 2 raw
mutual plessure!
This time I'm gonna tell about was the first time i had
sex with my former boy-friend.
The sex was good, we had been in love 4 so long, that a simple
stroke was enough 2 get us aroused.
But in the end of the "session" he was taking
me "doggy-style"...and just befor i was cumming, he
said "I'm about 2 cum"...! ...
1 Comments, 523 Views,
35 Votes
,5.18 Score
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You meet you gorlfriend how? 2/11/2005
I'm not trying to brag about anything, I just think
this is a funny way to have meet my now ex-girlfirned. I am
an art major, and I was in a life-drawing class. I saw so many
nude models I realized it was no big deal really, and that
after a few momment people looking at the model see shapes
and values, not a naked person. So I decided to give it a try.
I could use the money after all, ...
1 Comments, 204 Views,
12 Votes
,1.74 Score
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Clothing sizes 1/29/2005
When a man shops for clothes, his primary objective is to
purchase clothes that fit on his particular body. A man
will try on a pair; when he finds a pair that fits, he buys
them. Most men do not spend alot of time fretting about the
specific size of thier pants. Many men wear jeans which
have the size printed on the back label, so that, if you're
standing behind the man in a supermarket ...
5 Comments, 90 Views,
54 Votes
,7.43 Score
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pdaesdude.... 1/19/2005
I thought that I would make up my own damn language and write
a long article that nobody else on the whole goddamn planet
can read. ejaaavnafh pejoazop p[jaonaopp[wf ...ha, ha,
ha.
Get it.
0 Comments, 75 Views,
4 Votes
,0.92 Score
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Need Humor 1/13/2005
I think humor is very important. I hate when I am with a girl
and I try to joke around with her about something and she
is too serious. Even girls that are fun are the same way.
They always joke around with me kind of sexually, and when
I go to do the same to her she gets pissed.
0 Comments, 89 Views,
4 Votes
,0.92 Score
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First date blunder 1/10/2005
I had exchanged a few emails with a local lady, found out
she had a Masters in Social Work, seemed very bright, cheerful
and possesed a subtle sexual lure. We decided to meet for
coffe and see if lust would take hold.
The day came and we met at a local mall's food court since
it was familiar to both of us. Exchanged hugs and I could
feel her hard nipples through my shirt. We sat and, out ...
1 Comments, 187 Views,
9 Votes
,3.21 Score
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Blow Job 1/9/2005
Q: What is the best thing about a blow job?
<br>
A: The five minutes of silence.
1 Comments, 24 Views,
129 Votes
,6.83 Score
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Ode to oral 1/8/2005
Penis breath, a lover's dread
Is what you get when you give head
Unpleasant as it tends to be
Be grateful that he doesn't pee
It's times like this, you wonder why
you bothered reaching for his fly
But it's too late, can't be a tease
Accept the facts, get on your knees
You know you've got a job to do
So open wide and shove it through
Lick the tip then take it all
...
2 Comments, 106 Views,
47 Votes
,4.50 Score
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Funny 1/3/2005
How are women and tornadoes alike?
<br>
They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house
when they leave.
1 Comments, 148 Views,
36 Votes
,4.79 Score
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RE: just sitting in the truck 12/21/2004
My wife left out a bunch of stuff! this is what happened.
we had been up for a day or two and it was in the middle of the
night and it was extremly hot so i was driving down the road
with just my shirt off. well we pulled into a truck stop i
put my shirt on not realizing i still had my seatbelt still
on. well i asked her to pick up some goodys from the store
i was going to go in to the ...
0 Comments, 77 Views,
69 Votes
,2.94 Score
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just a little wind 12/21/2004
picture the scene, one cool autum day me and a rather pasionate
young lady were busy in the bed room, when she decided to
change positions and go on top. With all that vigiorious
bouncing (and a good curry in me)i could feel the accumilation
of wind down below, dispite my best efforts to suppress
the flow, she managed to squeeze it out of me!! and as quick
as a flash hopped of expressing ...
0 Comments, 66 Views,
8 Votes
,1.16 Score
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Cramp during Sex 12/20/2004
Just thought I'd share this funny little story that
happened to me one time....
I was dating this girl and of course having sex on a fairly
regular basis. One night we were in bed going at it for the
second time in various positions. I'd already fucked
her about an hour earlier but she's feeling extra frisky
and wants to go at it again. Not wanting to disappoint her,
I go to work. ...
0 Comments, 74 Views,
27 Votes
,2.93 Score
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10 Reasons why men think masturbation is better than sex. 12/17/2004
10.It takes less work.
9.Our wallets don't have to suffer.
8.Don't have to snuggle afterwards.
7.It may be your hand but at least you don't
have to put up with your ex.
6.Its the best way we know of to have 'safe sex'.
5.Its something to do when we're bored.
4.We like to test the the "you'll put your eye
out doing that" saying.
3.It saves some of us from sleeping ...
1 Comments, 46 Views,
20 Votes
,2.74 Score
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I love humor 12/15/2004
I just love a couple with a sense of humor. What do you do if
a couple just does not know how to joke around and your just
not interested anymore? Life is to be lived and have fun
doing it.
2 Comments, 31 Views,
12 Votes
,1.21 Score
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The Escaped Convict 12/9/2004
The Escaped Convict
<br>
A man escapes from American prison after serving time for
15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns
and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed
and ties him to a chair. While tying the girl to the bed he
gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes
into the bathroom.
<br>
Whilst he is in the ...
0 Comments, 68 Views,
24 Votes
,7.67 Score
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Marraige Jokes 12/8/2004
1. Getting married is very much like going to a continental
restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then
when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered
that.
<br>
2. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor's
degree and the woman gets her master's.
<br>
<br>
3. A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the ...
1 Comments, 34 Views,
15 Votes
,5.27 Score
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With Apologies to Clement Clarke Moore 12/6/2004
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the room
The new guys were talking of doom and of gloom.
“There are too many guys!” I heard one of them say,
I wish that you others would just go away!”
<br>
The women were laughing, they’d seen it before
“Hi let’s have sex” as soon as they hit the door.
“And I ...
1 Comments, 44 Views,
16 Votes
,5.77 Score
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I will Survive-- with a twist... 12/2/2004
At first I was afraid, I was petrified,
When you said you had 10 inches, Lord I almost died! But I'd
spent so many years just waiting for a man that long, That
I grew strong, and I knew that I could take you on....
<br>
But there you are, another lie, I was ready for a big Mac and
you've bought me a French fry! I should have known that
it was bullshit, just a sad pathetic ...
2 Comments, 65 Views,
47 Votes
,8.17 Score
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Sex Therapist 11/30/2004
A noted sex therapist realizes that people often lie about
the frequency of their encounters, so he devises a test
to tell for certain how often someone has sex.
<br>
To prove his theory, he fills up an auditorium with people,
and goes down the line, asking each person to smile. Using
the size of the person's smile, the therapist is able
to guess accurately until he comes to the ...
0 Comments, 45 Views,
30 Votes
,5.59 Score
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A night out 11/28/2004
A man left work one Friday afternoon. Being payday, instead
of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend hunting
with the boys and spent his entire paycheck.
When he finally appeared at home, Sunday night, he was confronted
by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours
with a tirade befitting his actions.
Finally, his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to
him, ...
0 Comments, 201 Views,
49 Votes
,7.32 Score
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Results from sex research 11/27/2004
One year, a man recorded every day of the year and whether
he had sex with his wife or not. In the 365 days he conducted
his research, he only had sex 12 days. He recorded the reasons
why his wife couldn't have sex with him, and these are
the results:
<br>
1. The sheets are clean....................................54
times
2. It is too ...
1 Comments, 43 Views,
34 Votes
,7.28 Score
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The Whales 11/17/2004
One day these two whales were swimming, a boy whale and his
girlfriend. They were swimming around, having a good time
when the boy whale sees this whaling vessel. "THAT'S
THE BOAT THAT KILLED MY DAY", he yells. "Here's
what we're going to do, we're going to take a deep
breath, swim under the boat, and blow really hard. The boat
will capsize and all the sailors will drown." Girl
whale ...
0 Comments, 39 Views,
20 Votes
,4.27 Score
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~A day in the life of Kit's Penis~ 11/17/2004
A Day In The Life Of KIT'S Penis....
<br>
6:15am
Wakeupwakeupwakeup! My God, will he ever wake up? Every
day it's the same:
I'm raring to go by dawn, ready to meet the world, or
at least the bathroom,
while Kit's face down and drooling on his pillow. Squishing
me to boot.
<br>
My only recourse is to swell up to full size, making my presence
felt. LIKE
THIS. MORNING ...
0 Comments, 40 Views,
32 Votes
,7.27 Score
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She has soooo many names... 11/14/2004
I am a young, intelligent and sexually active guy here on
Senior Sizzle. I've had the pleasure and priveledge to meet quite
a few good people and quite a few characters!!! One person
in particular comes to mind... Let's just call him
JOE. joe is a good friend whom I've now known for about
6 months on Senior Sizzle. He is a very nice and intelligent individual!1
In fact he reminds me a lot of myself. But Joe ...
1 Comments, 46 Views,
21 Votes
,3.87 Score
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Fun Ways to boot out a one-night stand 11/12/2004
Have fun....
<br>
Ladies: Fun Ways to Boot out a One-Night-Stand…
By: Tilly Rivers
<br>
This is just for fun… no offence intended…. A laugh ladies
and gentleman, some times sex is taken way too seriously.
<br>
1. Ask him what his ten-year plan is for your future …
2. Look him directly in the eye and ask him if he would like
to ...
0 Comments, 40 Views,
24 Votes
,5.29 Score
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Contemplating having ? 11/1/2004
Preparation for Parenthood
<br>
<br>
Preparation for parenthood is not just a matter of reading
books and decorating the spare room. Here are 12 simple
tests for the expectant parents to take to prepare themselves
for the real-life experience of being a mother or father.
<br>
1. Women: To prepare for maternity, put on a dressing gown
and stick a beanbag down the ...
1 Comments, 23 Views,
10 Votes
,3.58 Score
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What is Key to successfull Relations? 10/26/2004
I have seen lot of breakups in my life. Some time what made
them to separate from each other. Few days ago they were
saying they could not live without each other and now they
are not even interested to talk. What was wrong? Where mistakes
has been made? How to avoid them? What is the key to successfull
relations? Share your thoughts and views with me so we all
can learn from them.
1 Comments, 30 Views,
20 Votes
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Why You Might Not Deserve a Hot, Older Woman 10/24/2004
Men, are you looking for that hot, older woman experience?
Do you think that your young age is all that is necessary
to attract her? Are you finding out that things aren't
quite going your way in the seduction department? Well,
I'm here to help you boys with a list of tips and suggestions:
<br>
1. Come-on line that never works: "You remind me of
my mom and she's pretty cool." ...
0 Comments, 44 Views,
63 Votes
,7.98 Score
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Leaking ass 10/21/2004
My girlfriend started taking this medidine that was a fat blocker. She is a little over weight , at the most 20 pounds or so. Anyway this medicine is the nastiest thing that someone could ever take. Everywhere she would go fat would be leaking out her ass. The fat looked just like cooking oil but a darker redish color. She taught gymnastics and on one ocassion she was sitting on the floor in the ...
1 Comments, 45 Views,
30 Votes
,0.49 Score
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