The Millionaire   10/14/2018

A man asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to an unusually attractive woman sitting alone at a table in a cozy little restaurant. <br><br> The waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, 'This is from the gentleman who is seated over there.'.... and indicated the sender with a nod of his head. <br><br> She stared at the wine coolly for a few seconds, not ...


0 Comments, 25 Views, 2 Votes ,4.50 Score
jf23231 48 M
1  Article‚ Score 3.2
Closed..Oob   10/13/2018

What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? Beat it. We’re closed.


0 Comments, 7 Views, 4 Votes ,2.47 Score
sexbandit1982 36 M
2  Articles‚ Score 0.8
rthtrhrt htrh rt htrh rthr   10/13/2018

rt hrt httrh rth trh rt htr hrt.rh rt htrh trh rt hrt htr hrth r, rth rt trh rth rt . wrgf ergEF EFG EQGH EGHQEW TRH T HTRHWR HTW RH. WETHGTRHRTHRTHRT, HRTHRTH RT rthrtr r rrthrthrehryhyrhtyth. yjrte gerg trgrtghtrhrgsbr, grt grtbgrtgbrtgbr grtg df bwfe bsef gef ws. rtgbrtgbtr rt brt, re brtbtr btr tr. rtb rt btr btrgtrbbrgbrfbws.bfbgtbgvgrverbvettr, bgerbvgrevgrevgveqagrevwrecrqegvqerv, ...


0 Comments, 2 Views, 2 Votes ,0.34 Score
Senior Night   10/7/2018

It was entertainment night at the senior citizens center. <br><br> After the community sing-along led by Alice at the piano, it was time for the star of the show, Claude the Hypnotist! Claude explained that he was going to put the whole audience into a trance. “Yes, each and every one of you and all at the same time” said Claude. <br><br> The excited chatter dropped ...


0 Comments, 49 Views, 7 Votes ,1.51 Score
LEANJOHN79 48 M
8  Articles
haha   10/7/2018

Men vacuum same way that they have sex. They put it in, make some noise 3 minutes, before they collapse on the couch and think wife should be really happy.


0 Comments, 10 Views, 7 Votes ,1.77 Score
Adventureman200 70 M
13  Articles‚ Score 1.4
Bridge to Hawaii   10/7/2018

A man in California is walking along the beach and finds a very old bottle with a cork in the opening. So he pulls out the cork and out pops a Genie! The genie says, thank you for letting me out, as I have been stuck in here for over 200 years! To show my appreciation I can grant you one wish. So the man thought about it, then said "I want to take a 2 week vacation in Hawaii. No problem ...


0 Comments, 36 Views, 7 Votes ,1.51 Score
Adventureman200 70 M
13  Articles‚ Score 1.4
Pussy lips   10/7/2018

After years of frequent sex, a Blonde noticed that her pussy lips were elongated and hung down from her body. This embarrased her greatly, so she went to see a surgeon to see if it could be fixed. The surgeon said "No problem, we fix this all the time". The blonde said "OK, lets do it, but I am very embarrased about this so you can't tell a soul about it. No one can ...


0 Comments, 54 Views, 9 Votes ,3.85 Score
Adventureman200 70 M
13  Articles‚ Score 1.4
Dentist chair   10/7/2018

A very short Blonde goes to the destist. The assistant has her sit in the dentist chair. A few minutes later the dentist comes in, walks up to her and says "Open Wide". " I cant't" says the Blond, "the chair arms are in the way".


0 Comments, 22 Views, 6 Votes ,2.51 Score
DoubleSP816 40 M
1  Article
Inside   10/6/2018

Three men are travelling through the desert when their single camel dies. They walk for a while but then it becomes night. Desperate for shelter, suddenly they stumble across a tent and inside is three beautiful women. The men were not only lost but horny too so they begin to have sex with the women. But the tent belongs to a prince and these three women were his wives so he is very angry when he ...


1 Comments, 46 Views, 7 Votes ,3.55 Score
LEANJOHN79 48 M
8  Articles
Truth   10/5/2018

johnboy draws a penis on the black board. The teacher scolds him and immediately rubs it off. Next day johnboy draws a bigger one and underneath writes: "REMEMBER THE MORE YOU RUB THE BIGGER IT GETS!"


1 Comments, 16 Views, 6 Votes ,3.08 Score
LEANJOHN79 48 M
8  Articles
Truth   10/5/2018

johnboy draws a penis on the black board. The teacher scolds him and immediately rubs it off. Next day johnboy draws a bigger one and underneath writes: "REMEMBER THE MORE YOU RUB THE BIGGER IT GETS!"


0 Comments, 9 Views, 2 Votes ,1.04 Score
LEANJOHN79 48 M
8  Articles
Truth   10/5/2018

johnboy draws a penis on the black board. The teacher scolds him and immediately rubs it off. Next day johnboy draws a bigger one and underneath writes: "REMEMBER THE MORE YOU RUB THE BIGGER IT GETS!"


0 Comments, 5 Views, 3 Votes ,1.47 Score
LEANJOHN79 48 M
8  Articles
Truth   10/5/2018

johnboy draws a penis on the black board. The teacher scolds him and immediately rubs it off. Next day johnboy draws a bigger one and underneath writes: "REMEMBER THE MORE YOU RUB THE BIGGER IT GETS!"


0 Comments, 4 Views, 2 Votes ,1.04 Score
LEANJOHN79 48 M
8  Articles
Truth   10/5/2018

johnboy draws a penis on the black board. The teacher scolds him and immediately rubs it off. Next day johnboy draws a bigger one and underneath writes: "REMEMBER THE MORE YOU RUB THE BIGGER IT GETS!"


0 Comments, 5 Views, 2 Votes ,1.04 Score
Adventureman200 70 M
13  Articles‚ Score 1.4
Knocking on doors   10/4/2018

What is Jehovah's witness' favorite band? The Doors. <br><br> source: http://Senior Sizzle.com


0 Comments, 3 Views, 1 Votes ,2.40 Score
wickedcat2006 43 F
181  Articles
you're BI   10/4/2018

all men and women are BI.... its up to you to guess if its POLAR or SEXUAL!!!!!


0 Comments, 3 Views, 1 Votes ,5.00 Score
FuckDickPussyAss 36 M
1  Article
Help me out   10/4/2018

A guy is just looking to laugh. Cheer me up and drop your jokes here. I look forward to seeing them.


0 Comments, 2 Views, 2 Votes ,1.04 Score
Adventureman200 70 M
13  Articles‚ Score 1.4
Whistling while peeing   10/3/2018

Why does a Blonde whistle while she is peeing? So she can remember which lips to wipe when she is done.


0 Comments, 2 Views, 1 Votes ,1.10 Score
Adventureman200 70 M
13  Articles‚ Score 1.4
Quickie   10/3/2018

A male Blonde goes to a cafe for breakfast and looks at the menu. Soon a very cute waitress comes up and says "What would you like today sir?" He said "A quickie". Disgusted , she walks away. But in a few minutes she calms down and trys again. But he again says he would like a quickie. This time she slaps his face and walks away. Soon the man at the next table says ...


1 Comments, 24 Views, 4 Votes ,3.63 Score
Adventureman200 70 M
13  Articles‚ Score 1.4
Brazilian   10/3/2018

A redhead tells her Blonde stepsister "I fucked a Brazilian last night." "Oh my!" said the Blonde. "How many is that?"


0 Comments, 1 Views, 1 Votes ,1.10 Score
An Evening Out   10/3/2018

Patton staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Kathleen. <br><br> He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey ...


0 Comments, 25 Views, 3 Votes ,3.43 Score
LEANJOHN79 48 M
8  Articles
good one   10/3/2018

I'm not a weatherman, but you can definitely expect more than a few inches tonight.


1 Comments, 8 Views, 2 Votes ,1.04 Score
LEANJOHN79 48 M
8  Articles
Sex n math   10/3/2018

Sex and math. add the bed, Subtract clothes, Divide legs, and pray there is no multiplication.


0 Comments, 5 Views, 2 Votes ,1.04 Score
Adventureman200 70 M
13  Articles‚ Score 1.4
Blonde virginity   10/3/2018

How do you tell when a blonde has lost her virginity? Her crayons are sticky.


0 Comments, 4 Views, 0 Votes
Tax Time   10/1/2018

A woman walks into an accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. <br><br> The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask you a few uestions." He gets her name, address, Social security number, etc. and then asks, "What's your occupation?" <br><br> "I'm a Lady of the night, " she says. ...


1 Comments, 33 Views, 3 Votes ,3.43 Score
Kevin had shingles.   9/28/2018

Those of us who spend much time in a doctor's office should appreciate this! Doesn't it seem more and more that physicians are running their practices like an assembly line? <br><br> Here's what happened to Kevin: <br><br> Kevin walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. Kevin said: 'Shingles.' So, she wrote down his ...


1 Comments, 32 Views, 5 Votes ,2.82 Score
Peggy Sue   9/27/2018

It was a hot Saturday evening in the summer of 1958 and Fred had a date with Peggy Sue. He arrived at her house and rang the bell. <br><br> "Oh, come on in!" Peggy Sue's mother said as she welcomed Fred in."So, what are you and Peggy planning to do tonight?" she asked. <br><br> "Oh, probably catch a movie, and then maybe grab a bite to eat at ...


1 Comments, 49 Views, 5 Votes ,2.82 Score
Breakfast Order   9/27/2018

An old man goes into Sarasota’s Broken Egg restaurant and is seated. All the waitresses are gorgeous. A particularly voluptuous waitress, wearing a very short skirt and legs that won’t quit, came to his table and asked if he was ready to order. "What would you like, sir?” <br><br> He looks at the menu and then scans her beautiful frame top to bottom, and answers, ...


2 Comments, 44 Views, 7 Votes ,3.04 Score
Adventureman200 70 M
13  Articles‚ Score 1.4
A young woman goes to a bar   9/24/2018

A young woman goes to a bar on Saturday night and ends up drinking with 5 guys who are roomates. When the bar closed they wwere all having so much fun that the young men asks her to join them. As the night wore on she ended up fucking each guy at least 3 times. So on Sunday morning, she goes to mass and then confession. She said "Father I have sinned". What did you do the priest ...


3 Comments, 66 Views, 12 Votes ,3.86 Score
Adventureman200 70 M
13  Articles‚ Score 1.4
Lights out   9/21/2018

Joes and Sue had been married for 30 years, and in those 30 years, they always left the lights off when having sex. He was embarrassed and scared that he couldn't please her, so he always used a big dildo on her. All these years she had no clue. One day, she decided to reach over and flip the light switch on and saw that he was using a dildo. She said "I knew it, Joe please explain the ...


1 Comments, 57 Views, 12 Votes ,3.68 Score
Tripod7100 28 M
3  Articles
Huge joke   9/17/2018

Your mom.. also some points


2 Comments, 21 Views, 5 Votes ,3.14 Score
luvgluv19 70 M
28  Articles‚ Score 13.7
A trip to the market.   9/17/2018

It was a cool and rainy day but still I had to make a trip to the market for some thing to eat for the next few days. As I entered the super market I noticed on the stand right in the door way some large plastic sleeves. I knew immediately what they were but couldn't decide why they were in that location. Sooo I asked the clerk who was working near by why the huge condoms were at the door ...


1 Comments, 53 Views, 5 Votes ,0.53 Score
Clodiusthefirst 72 M
16  Articles‚ Score 0.1
Limerick   9/16/2018

There was a young man from Kent.............Whose tool was decidedly bent......................To save himself trouble.......He put it in double......... And instead of cumming he went


2 Comments, 14 Views, 6 Votes ,0.80 Score
scltguy2113 35 M
6  Articles
Jokes   9/15/2018

What time do you go to the dentist? <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> Tooth Thirty


0 Comments, 11 Views, 7 Votes ,1.26 Score
scltguy2113 35 M
6  Articles
Jokes   9/15/2018

What time do you go to the dentist? <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> Tooth Thirty


0 Comments, 8 Views, 6 Votes ,1.09 Score
paul4595 49 M
6  Articles
bad dating ad   9/13/2018

Male drinks only to excess. Seeking female to cook clean and for sex. Must have own boat and motor. Please send photo of boat and motor


1 Comments, 26 Views, 14 Votes ,1.54 Score
PnL18055 51 C
6  Articles‚ Score 6.7
Hitchhiker   9/12/2018

A hitchhiker is trying to get a ride. He gets passed by many cars. Finally a car pulls over to give him a ride. After getting in the car the hitchhiker turns to the driver and asks: <br><br> Hitchhiker: "Sir, why did you pick me up when everyone else passed me by? I mean, what are the chances, really, that I'm some crazed serial killer?" <br><br> Driver: ...


0 Comments, 60 Views, 13 Votes ,2.14 Score
PnL18055 51 C
6  Articles‚ Score 6.7
Hitchhiker   9/12/2018

A hitchhiker is trying to get a ride. He gets passed by many cars. Finally a car pulls over to give him a ride. After getting in the car the hitchhiker turns to the driver and asks: <br><br> Hitchhiker: "Sir, why did you pick me up when everyone else passed me by? I mean, what are the chances, really, that I'm some crazed serial killer?" <br><br> Driver: ...


3 Comments, 23 Views, 9 Votes ,1.72 Score
PnL18055 51 C
6  Articles‚ Score 6.7
Hillary Clinton   9/7/2018

A presidential plane crashes, killing the passengers: George Bush, Barack Obama, and Hillary Clinton. When the three get to heaven and meet God... <br><br> George Bush says "Hello, sir, my name is George Bush and I was the 43rd president of the United States." <br><br> Barack Obama says "Hello, sir, my name is Barack Obama and I was the 44th president of ...


2 Comments, 68 Views, 13 Votes ,1.30 Score
PnL18055 51 C
6  Articles‚ Score 6.7
Peeing in the snow   9/7/2018

Two families live next to each other. One snowy afternoon the father of the first family gets the father of the second family, and leads him behind their houses to see something. <br><br> "See that?" the first father asked. <br><br> "What? My son's name in the snow? What boy doesn't write his name in the snow?" answered the second father. ...


2 Comments, 63 Views, 9 Votes ,2.57 Score
PnL18055 51 C
6  Articles‚ Score 6.7
Mother-in-law gift   9/7/2018

My wife asked what we were going to give her mother for Christmas. I said "nothing, she never used what we gave her last Christmas." My wife said "What did we give her last Christmas?" I replied "A tombstone."


3 Comments, 26 Views, 8 Votes ,1.62 Score
PnL18055 51 C
6  Articles‚ Score 6.7
Hotdogs   9/7/2018

I once heard it said... <br><br> "I don't care if you're the Queen of England or a skin-flick scream queen, when a woman eats a hot-dog, she looks like a whore." <br><br> Not sure I agree with this one, but it does make you go... "Hmm?"


2 Comments, 19 Views, 8 Votes ,1.16 Score
s2ndegree 59 M
3  Articles‚ Score 12.0
Gorilla goo!   9/7/2018

A guy takes his pet gorilla to the vet and the vet says, "She sure is small for a gorilla!" <br><br> "That's funny, that's what my friends say about my wife!" <br><br> The man replied.


1 Comments, 41 Views, 6 Votes ,1.94 Score
All the wayyyyYYYyyyyyyyYYYYYyyyyyyyYYYYyyyyy   9/6/2018

What has one leg, and can run along way and NOT get tired ? <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> [image] <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> A **Run** in a Woman*z Stocking !


1 Comments, 29 Views, 10 Votes ,3.19 Score
luvgluv19 70 M
28  Articles‚ Score 13.7
Wow thats a lot   9/6/2018

Two women were sitting in a bar talking when one spoke up and said "Oh, I set a new record today, I screwed a Brazilian today". "WOW, " replied her friend, "A Brazilian, That's a lot of screwing." "I only screwed about a thousand."


3 Comments, 29 Views, 5 Votes ,2.49 Score
She couldn't do it, ssssoooo,,,   9/4/2018

A blonde phoned her boyfriend sounding totally frustrated. She was trying to do a jigsaw puzzle all by herself. Her boyfriend, on receiving the phone-call, told her to calm down and he'd be over to help her with the jigsaw. He asked her what the picture on the front of the box was and she had answered, "It's a big chicken". On arriving at his ...


1 Comments, 53 Views, 9 Votes ,3.21 Score
Turner Brown   9/4/2018

Skinny little white Irishman gets into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him. <br><br> The big guy sees the little Irishman staring at him... He looks down at the Irishman <br><br> and says: "7 ft tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 6 pounds of testicles, Turner Brown" <br><br> The ...


2 Comments, 41 Views, 8 Votes ,4.41 Score
New and Hopefully ][mproved   9/3/2018

An man in his mid-eighties struggles to get up from the couch then starts putting on his coat. His wife, seeing the unexpected behavior, asks, "Where are you going?" He replies, " going to the doctor." She says, "Why, are you sick?" He says, "Nope, going to get me some of that ...


5 Comments, 59 Views, 16 Votes ,2.98 Score
Speaka da Engrish   9/3/2018

A bus stops and 2 Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, But her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following: " Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more! . Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. ...


1 Comments, 36 Views, 9 Votes ,3.85 Score
Make it back and tell,,,   9/3/2018

A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other if there was sex after death. Their biggest fear was that there was no after-life at all. After a long life together, the husband was the first to die. True to his word, he made the first contact: "Sue..........Sue". <br><br> Is that you, George?" ...


2 Comments, 46 Views, 10 Votes ,2.99 Score
Clodiusthefirst 72 M
16  Articles‚ Score 0.1
Visit to psychologist 2   8/29/2018

Rorschach test! <br><br> Psychologist shows ink blot <br><br> What is that? A naked woman! <br><br> Another blot. What is that? A naked woman's genitals. <br><br> Another blot. What is that? 2 naked women & a man with erection <br><br> Another blot What is that? A couple having sex. <br><br> That is proof you have a ...


0 Comments, 43 Views, 9 Votes ,2.36 Score
Clodiusthefirst 72 M
16  Articles‚ Score 0.1
Visit to psychologist 1   8/29/2018

Irishman visits psychologist who show him a picture of an oak, an ash & a poplar. Asks what does that remind you of? <br><br> 9 Tree & tree & tree makes 9 <br><br> A story follows A dos wees against each tree. What does that remind you of? <br><br> 99 Dirty tree , dirty tree & dirty tree makes 99 <br><br> Story continues The dog ...


1 Comments, 39 Views, 8 Votes ,1.86 Score
Curious2014z2015 51 M
1  Article
Missing   8/27/2018

The wife's been missing for a week now <br><br> The Police said to expect the worst <br><br> So I went down the Charity Shop and got her clothes back......


2 Comments, 34 Views, 12 Votes ,2.09 Score
TravelingMan524 66 M
16  Articles‚ Score 2.9
wife & girlfriend   8/27/2018

Q: What's the difference between a wife & a girlfriend? <br><br> A: 40 pounds


3 Comments, 25 Views, 11 Votes ,3.92 Score
TravelingMan524 66 M
16  Articles‚ Score 2.9
more   8/27/2018

And if they say they are not cheetahs...they are lion.


0 Comments, 9 Views, 3 Votes ,2.94 Score
luvgluv19 70 M
28  Articles‚ Score 13.7
Ahhhh Man, what next   8/22/2018

I went to a bar one night and about two in the morning when the woman previously rated two becomes a nine. I finally asked her to my hotel room to which she quickly agreed to with a soft squeeze on my cock and I told her all right by returning a squeeze in her booty. Once there I undressed and lay on the bed while she undressed. Wellll first came off the wig, and she placed it on the ...


1 Comments, 77 Views, 14 Votes ,2.50 Score
Sex & Calories   8/18/2018

They say that during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. <br><br> Who the hell runs 8 miles in 45 seconds?


1 Comments, 20 Views, 10 Votes ,2.39 Score
Kinkedstylezz 36 M
5  Articles
jokes   8/18/2018

i like that theres a joke section on here


0 Comments, 10 Views, 7 Votes ,2.02 Score
Testing, Testing, 4, 5, 6, Testing.   8/17/2018

THE ANSWERS TO ALL FIVE OF THE RIDDLES ARE BELOW: 1. The third room. Lions that haven't eaten in three years are dead. That one was easy, right? 2. The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband, developed it, and hung it up to dry (shot; held under water; and hung). 3. Charcoal, as it is used in barbecuing. 4. Sure you can name three consecutive days, yesterday, ...


1 Comments, 45 Views, 13 Votes ,1.47 Score
Sex & Calories   8/16/2018

They say that during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. <br><br> Who the hell runs 8 miles in 45 seconds?


1 Comments, 13 Views, 6 Votes ,2.23 Score
KoKo50155 28 M
6  Articles
ORIGINAL   8/15/2018

ORIGINAL


0 Comments, 12 Views, 6 Votes ,1.09 Score
Joke of the weeks and ARE MEANT AS JOKES ONLY!!!!!!   8/14/2018

Q: Which of the following does "not" belong: Meat, Eggs, Wife, or Blowjob? A: a blowjob, because you can beat your meat, eggs, and wife but you Can't beat a blowjob!! LOL


1 Comments, 17 Views, 7 Votes ,3.04 Score
Testing, Testing, 1 2 3 ,,, Testing.   8/14/2018

THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST FIVE RIDDLES I'VE SEEN.... RIDDLE #5 IS AMAZING. IT SHARPENS THOSE GENES IN YOUR BRAIN AND STALLS ALZHEIMER'S FOR YEARS !! <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> 1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of ...


2 Comments, 52 Views, 6 Votes ,1.94 Score
SHoe*z, S//-/oe*z and yet S]]-[[oe*z again   8/13/2018

<br><br> A young blonde woman was driving through the Florida Everglades while on vacation. She wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the young Blonde declared, "Well then, maybe ...


1 Comments, 48 Views, 10 Votes ,3.98 Score
Don't be in such a hurry !   8/13/2018

A young ][ndian Brave felt he was of age. He went to the Village Chief and stood before him. ''Oh Chief, ][ Am of age now and ask to become a Warrior, What must ][ do ?" The Chief looked hard at the young Brave and thought a few moment*z. " To Be a WarrioR, there are 3 thing*z You must do. The first , ,, is to build a Big and Strong TePee The second, ,, is to get a ...


0 Comments, 49 Views, 8 Votes ,3.01 Score
A Loving Wife   8/10/2018

A man breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds a couple in bed. He orders the guy out of the bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the home owner’s wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck; then gets up & goes into the bathroom. <br><br> While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife: “Listen, this guy is an ...


2 Comments, 91 Views, 20 Votes ,4.15 Score
69rideme4fun 49 M
1  Article
humor   8/9/2018

how do ya tell a snowman apart from a snow woman? snowballs.


1 Comments, 10 Views, 7 Votes ,2.28 Score
Wrong A\/\swer !   8/9/2018

A man left for work one Friday afternoon. But, being -day, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire check. When he finally appeared at home, Sunday night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to ...


2 Comments, 65 Views, 11 Votes ,3.54 Score
When too, and when NOT too.   8/9/2018

<br><br> In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, ''Mrs. Jones, do you know ?'' She responded, ''Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment ...


0 Comments, 40 Views, 8 Votes ,3.01 Score
Not All Is As It Appear*z ~   8/9/2018

Farmer Brown goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for his Henhouse. The cocky young rooster walks over to the rooster and says: "OK, fellow, time to retire." The rooster says: "You can't handle all these chickens, look what it did to !" The young rooster replies: "Now don't give a hassle about this man. It's time ...


1 Comments, 45 Views, 5 Votes ,3.80 Score
Souper Visor   8/9/2018

Cajun Math.......... A Cajun Shrimper wants a job cleaning up the oil spill, but the BP Foreman won't hire him until he passes a little math test. "Here is your first question..." the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9." "Without numbers ?" The Cajun says, "Dat's is easy." And proceeds to draw ...


0 Comments, 39 Views, 5 Votes ,1.84 Score
Tree Hugg'in.   8/8/2018

While walking through Golden Gate Park in San Francisco, a man came upon another man hugging a tree with his ear firmly against the tree . Seeing this he inquired, "Just out of curiosity, what the heck are you doing?" <br><br> " listening to the music of the tree, " the other man replied. "you've got to be kidding ." "No, would you like ...


1 Comments, 44 Views, 6 Votes ,2.23 Score
Careful \\/\\/is//-/e*z !   8/8/2018

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke, " and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?" "I'll have the same, " says the ostrich. A short time later the waitress returns with the order. “That will be $9.40 please.” The man reaches into ...


0 Comments, 28 Views, 2 Votes ,3.81 Score
Best Phone rate.   8/8/2018

A gentleman is visiting The Vatican in Rome when he happen*z to see a Golden Phone. He ask*z a Pradre' that is watching over it "What*z up with the Golden Phone Padre' ?" The Padre' replie*z "Oh, that phone goe*z directly to Heaven, and it cost*z $10, 000.00 to use it." The gentleman is impressed. Same gentleman has travelled to London England, and just so ...


0 Comments, 32 Views, 3 Votes ,2.45 Score
Drink'in into Fly*in   8/8/2018

Ralph and Charlie were a couple of Newfie drinking buddies who worked as airplane mechanics in Gander , NL. One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do. <br><br> Ralph said, "Man, I wish we had something to drink!" <br><br> Charlie says "Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get a ...


0 Comments, 28 Views, 3 Votes ,2.94 Score
StudlyNHung69 36 M
5  Articles‚ Score 3.4
??   8/8/2018

<br><br> ??


0 Comments, 2 Views, 0 Votes
Bigtitlover86xx 31 M
6  Articles
Hey whats up   8/6/2018

Just doing this for the points, so feel free to do the same!


1 Comments, 9 Views, 4 Votes ,3.25 Score
Male Logic   8/6/2018

This is a conversation between a husband and his wife. Please note that she asks five or six questions which he answered quite simply; but, then she is speechless after answering only one question. l bet this happens more often than not to most husbands out there. <br><br> Woman: Do you drink beer? <br><br> Man: Yes. <br><br> Woman: How many beers a day? ...


0 Comments, 33 Views, 5 Votes ,4.12 Score
What Starts With "F"   8/6/2018

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her more precocious students. The teacher asked, 'Harry, what exactly is your problem?' <br><br> Harry answered, 'I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!' <br><br> Ms. Brooks finally had ...


0 Comments, 47 Views, 6 Votes ,3.65 Score
points   8/6/2018

Points


1 Comments, 3 Views, 1 Votes
bbcinorlando 34 M
6  Articles
OLD JOKE   8/5/2018

What’s the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? <br><br> A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.


0 Comments, 12 Views, 6 Votes ,1.37 Score
Superman4695 33 M
11  Articles‚ Score 18.5
Blonde   8/3/2018

You hear about the blonde that works at the M&M factory? <br><br> She got fired for throwing half of them away because they said W&W.


1 Comments, 9 Views, 5 Votes ,2.49 Score
Superman4695 33 M
11  Articles‚ Score 18.5
Blonde   8/3/2018

You hear about the blonde that works at the M&M factory? <br><br> She got fired for throwing half of them away because they said W&W.


0 Comments, 5 Views, 4 Votes ,1.69 Score
ha ha   8/3/2018

so a girl tells a guy come eat my pussy it tastes like rainbows....so he goes down and starts licking and as he licks skittles start coming out he comes up with a mouth full and says so this is what ya meant by it tastes like rainbows


0 Comments, 17 Views, 3 Votes ,1.47 Score
dafocker44 59 M
6  Articles
Dopey and the Nun   7/30/2018

Snow White and the 7 dwaves went to visit the Vatican! There, they were introduced to the Pontiff. Dopey asks, "Monsignor, are there any dwarf nuns in the Vatican?" <br><br> Pope thinks for a few seconds and says, "No, I don't believe there are! <br><br> Dopey thinks and asks another question. "Pope, are there any dawf nuns in the Roman Catholic ...


0 Comments, 48 Views, 10 Votes ,3.19 Score
silverwolf_n_ut 54 M
2  Articles
donkey   7/28/2018

what do you get when you cross a donkey with a onion a piece of ass brings a tear too your eye


0 Comments, 9 Views, 5 Votes ,1.84 Score
ericsmith98105 36 M
4  Articles
Who's down for points people!   7/27/2018

We all need points.


4 Comments, 26 Views, 11 Votes ,4.85 Score
HesGotMyHeart113 51 C
1  Article
Three Blondes walk into a bar....   7/26/2018

two got concussions.


0 Comments, 15 Views, 6 Votes ,1.37 Score
wickedcat2006 43 F
181  Articles
ha ha!!!   7/25/2018

A lady comes home from her doctor's appointment grinning from ear to ear. Her husband asks, "Why are you so happy?" The wife says, "The doctor told me that for a forty-five year old woman, I have the breasts of a eighteen year old." "Oh yeah?" quipped her husband, "What did he say about your forty-five year old ass?" She said, "Your name never came ...


2 Comments, 34 Views, 15 Votes ,5.43 Score
ShaunaODorothy 49 T
10  Articles
Traveling Salesman's Car Breaks Down   7/25/2018

While on the road in the country a door to door salesman had car trouble and walked to a nearby farmhouse for help. He got to the door as night was falling on that dark and stormy night. <br><br> "You can stay the night here, " the old farmer said, "but you'll have to stay in one of my daughters bedrooms." <br><br> The first daughter came down she ...


0 Comments, 66 Views, 10 Votes ,3.78 Score
Dentist is scared of women   7/24/2018

A dentist's father raised his son alone since his wife had cheated on him. He always told his son to avoid women like the plague. <br><br> One day, a beautiful woman is shown in to the dentist's exam room. She is quite flirtatious with the dentist and makes no secret of the fact that she's interested. <br><br> She asks the dentist if he'd like to go out ...


0 Comments, 53 Views, 10 Votes ,4.18 Score
wickedcat2006 43 F
181  Articles
bull!!!   7/24/2018

A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram." She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out ...


0 Comments, 52 Views, 11 Votes ,5.22 Score
wickedcat2006 43 F
181  Articles
codes!!!   7/23/2018

A boy says to a girl, "So, sex at my place?" "Yeah!" "Okay, but I sleep in a bunk bed with my younger brother, and he thinks we're making sandwiches, so we have to have a code. Cheese means faster and tomato means harder, okay?" Later on the girl is yelling, "Cheese cheese, tomato tomato!" The younger brother says, "Stop making sandwiches! ...


0 Comments, 30 Views, 10 Votes ,4.98 Score
wickedcat2006 43 F
181  Articles
math   7/21/2018

A football coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said, "I'm not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there. So what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play." The player agreed, and the coach looked into his eyes intently and asks, "Okay, now concentrate... what is ...


0 Comments, 57 Views, 14 Votes ,4.26 Score
NEVER ASSUME THAT MEN UNDERSTAND   7/21/2018

A woman was in a coma. She had been in it for months. Nurses were in her room giving her a bed bath. One of them was washing her private area and noticed that there was a slight response on the monitor whenever she touched her there. They tried it again and sure enough, there was definite movement.. They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him, 'As crazy as this sounds, ...


0 Comments, 41 Views, 12 Votes ,4.92 Score
Superman4695 33 M
11  Articles‚ Score 18.5
Blonde joke   7/20/2018

Why can't you tell a blonde knock knock jokes? <br><br> A. Because she will leave to answer the door.


0 Comments, 9 Views, 7 Votes ,3.04 Score
Superman4695 33 M
11  Articles‚ Score 18.5
Blonde joke   7/20/2018

Why can't you tell a blonde knock knock jokes? <br><br> A. Because she will leave to answer the door.


0 Comments, 1 Views, 1 Votes ,2.40 Score
Superman4695 33 M
11  Articles‚ Score 18.5
Blonde joke   7/20/2018

Why can't you tell a blonde knock knock jokes? <br><br> A. Because she will leave to answer the door.


0 Comments, 3 Views, 2 Votes ,2.42 Score
Thisguy61364 41 M
5  Articles
789   7/18/2018

Why was six afraid of seven? <br><br> Seven was a registered six offender.


2 Comments, 11 Views, 6 Votes ,3.93 Score
Thisguy61364 41 M
5  Articles
789   7/18/2018

Why was six afraid of seven? <br><br> Seven was a registered six offender.


0 Comments, 6 Views, 4 Votes ,3.63 Score
Thisguy61364 41 M
5  Articles
789   7/18/2018

Why was six afraid of seven? <br><br> Seven was a registered six offender.


1 Comments, 4 Views, 2 Votes ,3.81 Score
The Hearing Check   7/18/2018

A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the doctor a better idea about her hearing loss. Here's what you do, " said the Doctor, "stand about ...


0 Comments, 46 Views, 8 Votes ,4.64 Score
wickedcat2006 43 F
181  Articles
yachting!!!   7/18/2018

A man joins a soccer team and his new teammates inform him, "At your first team dinner as the new guy, you will have to give us a talk about sex." The evening arrives and he gives a detailed, humorous account of his sex life. When he got home, his wife asked how the evening went and not wanting to lie, but also not wanting to explain exactly what happened, he said, "Oh, I had to ...


2 Comments, 51 Views, 7 Votes ,3.80 Score
wickedcat2006 43 F
181  Articles
skiers!!   7/17/2018

Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was ...


0 Comments, 25 Views, 9 Votes ,3.64 Score
wickedcat2006 43 F
181  Articles
parents!!!   7/17/2018

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, and fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.” The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the puts his penis in the ’s ...


1 Comments, 39 Views, 7 Votes ,4.57 Score
bbcinorlando 34 M
6  Articles
Love Making Night Before   7/16/2018

There is an Italian, a Frenchman, and an American sitting in a bar talking and the Italian is bragging that last night he made love to his wife 3 times and this morning his wife made him breakfast in bed and told him how amazing he was the night before. The Frenchman said "That's nothing I made love to my wife 5 times last night and then this morning to show her appreciation she made me ...


0 Comments, 43 Views, 4 Votes ,2.47 Score
The Milk Bath   7/14/2018

A blonde heard that baths in milk would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk. <br><br> When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. <br><br> So he knocked on the door to clarify the point. <br><br> The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I ...


0 Comments, 56 Views, 4 Votes ,2.47 Score
Adventureman200 70 M
13  Articles‚ Score 1.4
When men were hard to find   7/13/2018

The US civil War had just ended and unmarried men were hard to find, so Mabelle placed an ad in her local newspaper. Mabelle lived in a small town in a rural area. But soon a discharged vet of the war answered and was willing to mary her. So she wrote back and agreed to meet him at the Justice of the Peace on the following friday at 9 to mary. They met, got married and loaded her large trunk ...


0 Comments, 53 Views, 5 Votes ,1.84 Score
wickedcat2006 43 F
181  Articles
lol   7/13/2018

A piece of string walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender looks at him and says, "We don't serve string here." So the string goes outside, twists himself up a bit, kind of roughs up his ends and walks back into the bar and orders a drink. The bartender looks at him and says, "Aren't you that little piece of string that was in here a few minutes ago?" The ...


2 Comments, 35 Views, 6 Votes ,3.37 Score
wickedcat2006 43 F
181  Articles
riddle   7/13/2018

Why can you never hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> Because the pee is silent.


2 Comments, 10 Views, 4 Votes ,2.47 Score
Superman4695 33 M
11  Articles‚ Score 18.5
What do you call   7/13/2018

a blonde with a chainsaw? A. Dead <br><br> had to put this one up for Friday the 13th


0 Comments, 5 Views, 1 Votes ,1.10 Score
Adventureman200 70 M
13  Articles‚ Score 1.4
Pope's new camera   7/13/2018

A tourist couple is visiting the Vaticant and sneaks into the Papal Garden. They spot the Pope and start taking photos, just as he jerks off and cums. But then he spots the tourists. Horrified, he says I must have tham camera, as those photos can't get out. The tourists say $2, 000 and you can have it. Those Pope takes it , pays them, and places it on his fireplace mantel. Later in the day ...


1 Comments, 38 Views, 2 Votes ,2.42 Score
solice_fred 62 M
2  Articles
Does the dog bite?   7/12/2018

A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog. He asks the shopkeeper, “Does your dog bite?” The shopkeeper says, “No, my dog does not bite.” The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him. “Ouch!” He says, “I thought you said your dog does not bite!” The shopkeeper replies, “That is not my dog!” from net Not Bling Owner...


1 Comments, 25 Views, 3 Votes ,1.47 Score
EvanJih 35 M
2  Articles
The power of punctuation:   7/12/2018

An English professor wrote the words: “ A woman without her man is nothing”On the chalkboard and asked the students to punctuate it correctly. All of the males in the class wrote: “A woman, without her man, is nothing.” All of the Females in the class wrote: “A woman: without her, man is nothing.” Punctuation is powerful~ from net Not Bling Owner ...


0 Comments, 20 Views, 1 Votes ,1.10 Score
Verify_1 33 M
2  Articles
A skeleton walks into a bar...   7/12/2018

... he orders a beer and a mop. [image] heyyo!


0 Comments, 8 Views, 2 Votes ,1.04 Score
Romantic Dinner   7/11/2018

A man and a woman were having a quiet, romantic dinner in a fine restaurant. They were gazing lovingly at each other and holding hands. <br><br> The waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly noticed the woman slowly sliding down her chair, under the table and under the tablecloth, but the man stared straight ahead. <br><br> The waitress watched ...


0 Comments, 37 Views, 2 Votes ,3.12 Score
nautical3 58 M
4  Articles
PAA   7/11/2018

I went to a meeting of Porn Addicts Anonymous yesterday <br><br> What a mob of wankers !


0 Comments, 2 Views, 1 Votes ,1.10 Score
nautical3 58 M
4  Articles
Medical Exam   7/11/2018

During my medical examination, my doctor asked me about my physical activity level. I described a typical day this way: -‘Well, yesterday afternoon, I took a five-hour walk, about 7 miles, through some pretty rough terrain. I waded along the edge of a lake. I pushed my way through brambles. I got sand in my shoes and my eyes and I avoided standing on a snake. I climbed several rocky hills. I ...


0 Comments, 39 Views, 2 Votes ,3.12 Score
whorecurious 57 C
170  Articles
The Day Off   7/10/2018

Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. <br><br> “Boss, ” he says, “we’re doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff.” <br><br> “We’re short-handed, Smith, ” the boss replies. “I can’t give you the day off.” <br><br> “Thanks, boss, ...


0 Comments, 29 Views, 4 Votes ,4.41 Score
whorecurious 57 C
170  Articles
Baseball Game   7/10/2018

One day, the devil challenged the Lord to a baseball game. <br><br> Smiling, the Lord proclaimed, “You don’t have a chance. I have Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle and all the greatest players up here.” <br><br> “True, ” snickered the devil. “But I have all the umpires.”


0 Comments, 17 Views, 3 Votes ,3.43 Score
bbcinorlando 34 M
6  Articles
Spelling   7/8/2018

Two Italian men get on a bus. <br><br> They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following: <br><br> <br><br> "Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together ...


1 Comments, 35 Views, 4 Votes ,4.02 Score
STLSR 60 M
3  Articles
Farmer humor....   7/5/2018

Gomer is passing by Goober's hay barn one day when, through a gap in the door, he sees Goober doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old John Deere tractor. <br><br> Buttocks clenched, he performs a slow pirouette, and gently slides off first the right strap of his overalls, followed by the left in a very tantalizing manner. He then hunches his shoulders forward and in ...


0 Comments, 54 Views, 5 Votes ,3.47 Score
whorecurious 57 C
170  Articles
Lil Johnny first grade   7/4/2018

The first grade teacher walks into class. She sees Johnny sitting there and holding his kitty cat. She says Johnny why do you have your kitty cat at school? <br><br> He says " I heard my daddy tell my momma he was gonna eat that pussy when I goes to school"


1 Comments, 38 Views, 8 Votes ,3.94 Score
If only   7/3/2018

A Male Fairy Tale <br><br> Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess, <br><br> "Will you marry me?" <br><br> The Princess immediately said, "No!" <br><br> And the Prince lived happily ever after, <br><br> and <br><br> rode motorcycles <br><br> and <br><br> dated thin, ...


0 Comments, 28 Views, 6 Votes ,1.66 Score
Text message   7/3/2018

An elderly couple learned to send text messages on their mobile phones. <br><br> The wife, a retired college English instructor with emphasis on the Classics, was an unapologetic romantic; her husband, a retired salty Navy chief petty officer of thirty ’ service, was a no-nonsense guy <br><br> One afternoon the wife went to the local Starbuck’s to meet a friend for ...


0 Comments, 51 Views, 4 Votes ,3.25 Score
Superman4695 33 M
11  Articles‚ Score 18.5
Spiderman joke   7/3/2018

Made this up myself: <br><br> What do you get when you cross Spider-man with Aunt may? The Amazing A(u)nt-man.


0 Comments, 1 Views, 0 Votes
Little Johnny   7/2/2018

Little Johnny strolls into school on Tuesday. <br><br> The teacher stops him in the hall. <br><br> “Johnny, why weren’t you in school yesterday?” <br><br> “Sorry, Miss, but my dad got burned” <br><br> “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. I hope it wasn’t badly?” <br><br> “Well, they don’t fuck around at the crematorium, ...


0 Comments, 20 Views, 6 Votes ,1.94 Score
Golf lessons   7/2/2018

A husband and wife love to golf together, but neither of them are playing like they want to, so they decide to take private lessons. <br><br> The husband has his lesson first. After the pro sees his swing, he says, “No no, no, you’re gripping the club way too hard!” <br><br> “Well, what should I do?” asks the man. <br><br> “Hold the club gently, ” ...


0 Comments, 39 Views, 2 Votes ,1.73 Score
STLSR 60 M
3  Articles
how true... lol   6/29/2018

A mother is in the kitchen one day, preparing dinner for the family. Her young daughter walks in and asks her, “Mommy, where do babies come from?” <br><br> The mother thinks for a while before deciding she ought to be honest with her daughter. She says, “Well honey, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and then ...


0 Comments, 47 Views, 6 Votes ,2.80 Score
Kmarlos79 39 M
1  Article
Doctor visit   6/27/2018

Doctor walked in to find patient on exam table with carrots stuck in his nose and broccoli coming out of his ears. <br><br> Doctor took one look at him and said “Well I can tell your not eating right”!


0 Comments, 30 Views, 7 Votes ,2.02 Score
at work   6/24/2018

I'm sure my coworker is having an affair with my wife... <br><br> He's been very miserable lately.


0 Comments, 16 Views, 7 Votes ,2.28 Score
A man walked into a bar with his arm in a cast   6/24/2018

"What happened to you?" asked the bartender. "I got in a fight with Kelly." "Kelly? He's only a small guy - he must have had something in his hand." "He did - a shovel." "Didn't you have anything in your hand?" "I did - Mrs. Kelly's tit. And a beautiful thing it was too, but not much use in a fight !"


0 Comments, 24 Views, 8 Votes ,3.94 Score
Blonde   6/24/2018

A blond is in a car crash and she says, "I think I have a concussion." The paramedic asks, "How many fingers do I have up?" The blond shrieks, "Oh my God! I am paralyzed from the waist down, too!"


0 Comments, 22 Views, 10 Votes ,3.39 Score
Ggarvey76 42 M
1  Article
KFC   6/24/2018

What does a box of chicken and a woman have in common? Once you are done with the breasts and the things all you have left is a greasy Box to the bone in..


0 Comments, 7 Views, 3 Votes ,2.45 Score
So a Horse Walks into a Bar   6/22/2018

A horse walks into a bar Th Bartender looks up and says Hey Buddy Why the Long Face...


1 Comments, 25 Views, 7 Votes ,1.77 Score
So a Horse Walks into a Bar   6/22/2018

A horse walks into a bar, The Bartender looks up and says Hey Buddy Why the Long Face...


1 Comments, 16 Views, 5 Votes ,1.51 Score
Superman4695 33 M
11  Articles‚ Score 18.5
What is the difference between a slut...   6/22/2018

and a bitch? The slut will have sex with you. <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> Disclaimer: Never called a woman either likely never will. Just a joke.


1 Comments, 35 Views, 13 Votes ,3.14 Score
StormBorgn 39 M
1  Article
What did peter say   6/20/2018

What is the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus <br><br> <br><br> It only takes one nail to hang a picture


0 Comments, 14 Views, 11 Votes ,1.11 Score
Late Night Visitors   6/17/2018

A man is sitting at home alone when he hears a knock at the front door. He opens it to find two sheriff's deputies standing there. He asks if there is a problem. One of the deputies asks if he is married. The man replies, "Yes, I am." The deputy then asks if he could see a picture of the man's wife. <br><br> The guy says, "Sure, I guess, " and gets a photo ...


2 Comments, 102 Views, 23 Votes ,3.01 Score
Aunt Mildred   6/17/2018

Aging Aunt Mildred was a 93-year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband. She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death. Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out his old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart, since it was badly broken in the first place. Not wanting to miss the ...


0 Comments, 72 Views, 16 Votes ,3.57 Score
The Divorce   6/16/2018

CURTAIN RODS On the first day, she sadly packed her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. <br><br> On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. <br><br> On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining-room table, by candlelight; she put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, ...


0 Comments, 56 Views, 14 Votes ,3.46 Score
Badtrev 38 M
11  Articles‚ Score 4.7
Coma   6/16/2018

One day a woman mysteriously falls into a deep coma, leaving the doctors puzzled and her husband desperate. They try every conventional treatment in the book to no avail. One day the husband is in the hospital and in his frustration he yet again approaches the doctor and says “Are you sure that we’ve tried everything? Isn’t there some less conventional or experimental treatments that ...


1 Comments, 64 Views, 12 Votes ,3.51 Score
love2please520 42 M
1  Article
Two Guys in a Chicago Bar   6/11/2018

Two guys are in a bar in a Chicago high-rise. One guy looks at the other and says "You know, they call Chicago the Windy City because if you jump out of one of these office high-rise balconies, the wind will actually push you back in". <br><br> The second guy says: "What? Get outta hear with that!" <br><br> The first guy says: "No, it's ...


0 Comments, 60 Views, 14 Votes ,2.50 Score
whorecurious 57 C
170  Articles
A Farm Couple   6/8/2018

Once there was an elderly couple that lived on a farm. One day the farmer came to his wife and grabbed her boobs. <br><br> He said, "If we could get milk out of these things, we could get rid of the cows." <br><br> The next day he approached her, grabbed her butt, and said, "If we could get eggs out of this thing, we could get rid of the chickens." ...


3 Comments, 100 Views, 20 Votes ,3.51 Score
whorecurious 57 C
170  Articles
A True Blonde   6/8/2018

A blond goes into a world-wide message center to send a message to her mother. When the clerk tells him it will be $300, she exclaims, ''I can't afford that, but I would do ANYTHING to get a message to my mom!'' <br><br> To that the man asks, ''Anything?'' <br><br> She says ''Anything'' <br><br> With that, the ...


1 Comments, 94 Views, 19 Votes ,4.18 Score
whorecurious 57 C
170  Articles
Blonde on an Airplane   6/8/2018

A plane is on its way to Houston when Amanda, in economy class, gets up and moves to the first class section and sits down. <br><br> The flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket. <br><br> She then tells Amanda that she paid for economy class and that she will have to sit in the back. <br><br> Amanda replies, “I’m blond, I’m ...


0 Comments, 53 Views, 12 Votes ,3.15 Score
whorecurious 57 C
170  Articles
Stolen Credit Card   6/8/2018

Question: Have you ever had a credit card stolen? <br><br> Answer: Yes, my wife’s credit card was stolen. <br><br> Question: Did you report it missing? <br><br> Answer: No, the guy who stole it spends less than my wife, so I’m better off.


0 Comments, 24 Views, 6 Votes ,3.37 Score
Hippo and a Zippo   6/7/2018

What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo? <br><br> / <br><br> / <br><br> / <br><br> / <br><br> / <br><br> / <br><br> / <br><br> / <br><br> / The Zippo is a little lighter...


1 Comments, 25 Views, 9 Votes ,1.72 Score
youngPleasure M
7  Articles
Sperm Navigation   6/5/2018

What did one sperm say to the other sperm? <br><br> Hey Bill did you bring the GPS...I think that prick dropped us off at the esophagus like our friends a few nights ago. We've got a loooong way to go. Oh Jim, how I hate the shit we have to go through.


0 Comments, 17 Views, 9 Votes ,3.21 Score
Ahah   6/3/2018

Why am I even on here


0 Comments, 9 Views, 5 Votes ,2.16 Score
What kind of bees produce milk?   6/2/2018

Boo-bees!


0 Comments, 12 Views, 8 Votes ,1.62 Score
Superman4695 33 M
11  Articles‚ Score 18.5
Superman joke   6/1/2018

Superman is flying and sees Wonderwoman naked on the roof of the Hall of Justice. He exclaims "Great Scott!" He thinks I'm Superman I can be in and out before she knows it. WHOOSH BAM BAM BAM BAM. Wonderwoman says" What was that? The Invisible man says" I don't know but my ass really hurts.


2 Comments, 29 Views, 8 Votes ,3.48 Score
Two Garbage Bags   5/27/2018

A little old lady is walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags rips, and every once in a while a $20 bill falls out onto the sidewalk. <br><br> Noticing this, a policeman stops her, and says, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of your bag." <br><br> "Oh, really? Darn, " says the little old ...


2 Comments, 80 Views, 18 Votes ,2.85 Score
Once a Marine, Always a Marine   5/27/2018

On their 50th anniversary, a wife found the negligee she wore on her wedding night and put it on. <br><br> She went to her husband, a retired Marine, and asked, "Honey, do you remember this?" <br><br> He looked up from his newspaper and said; "Yes dear, I do. You wore that same negligee the night we were married" <br><br> She said, ...


1 Comments, 74 Views, 10 Votes ,3.58 Score
whorecurious 57 C
170  Articles
Money Back   5/25/2018

A thief stuck a pistol in a man's ribs and said, "Give me your money." <br><br> The gentleman, shocked by the sudden attack, said "You cannot do this, I'm a United States Congressman!" <br><br> The thief said, "In that case, give me my money!"


1 Comments, 32 Views, 14 Votes ,3.46 Score
whorecurious 57 C
170  Articles
Just Confirmed   5/25/2018

It's just been confirmed Monica Lewinski voted for Trump. She said the last Clinton in office left a bad taste in her mouth....


1 Comments, 22 Views, 12 Votes ,3.86 Score
So This Guy Walks into a Bar with an Octopus under his arm...   5/21/2018

So this guy walks into a bar with an Octopus under his arm. He tosses the Octopus onto the bar and says "I bet anyone a drink that my Octopus can play any musical instrument that you give him." The piano player says "I'll take that bet" The guy puts the Octopus on the piano and he starts playing and it is better than Ray Charles !!! Another guy says "Can he play my ...


3 Comments, 91 Views, 19 Votes ,3.78 Score
donnalikescock 27 F
1  Article
zoo trip   5/20/2018

We went to the famous San Diego zoo last summer. We didn't have a good trip. It was so hot out that none the animals were outside except one lousy dog. It was a SHIH TZU


2 Comments, 65 Views, 22 Votes ,3.37 Score
bradtomms614sexi 43 M
4  Articles
funny   5/20/2018

We Ann leed a good laugh. who can make it happen?


0 Comments, 9 Views, 4 Votes ,1.69 Score
The Old Soldier   5/17/2018

A man walked into a supermarket with his zipper down. A lady cashier walked up to him and said, 'your barracks door is open'. Not a phrase that men normally use, he went on his way looking a bit puzzled. When he was about d shopping, a man came up and said, 'your fly is open.' he zipped up and finished his shopping. <br><br> At the checkout, he intentionally got in the ...


1 Comments, 72 Views, 19 Votes ,3.39 Score
Cheesy Joke   5/13/2018

How do you make a tissue paper dance? Put a boogy in it.


1 Comments, 16 Views, 10 Votes ,2.39 Score
whorecurious 57 C
170  Articles
A Close Shave   5/12/2018

A man enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks. ''I have just the thing, '' says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. ''Just place this between your cheek and gum.'' <br><br> The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber ...


1 Comments, 86 Views, 20 Votes ,4.27 Score
Grewpetty 58 M
3  Articles‚ Score 0.2
Thermometer   5/10/2018

Do you know the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer? <br><br> The taste.


1 Comments, 13 Views, 9 Votes ,1.93 Score
Grewpetty 58 M
3  Articles‚ Score 0.2
Thermometer   5/10/2018

Do you know the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer? <br><br> The taste.


0 Comments, 6 Views, 5 Votes ,2.82 Score
Jackedup4u 37 M
3  Articles
Cash rules everything   5/9/2018

I fell in love with a cam girl, the only problem is that she does not know. I keep sending her points and gifts but nothing. Oh well she just might be out for the cash!!!


1 Comments, 22 Views, 8 Votes ,1.62 Score
PKDK1969 49 C
3  Articles
Vatican   5/8/2018

A young man was on holidays in Rome and decided he would go do a tour of the Vatican, grabbed his camera so he could capture the event. On arriving he decided to take some photos of the outside of the vatican, to get the whole shot he moved right back near some bushes. He'd taken a few shots when he heard some rustling noises in the bushes, thinking it might be a wild animal he was ready to ...


1 Comments, 76 Views, 12 Votes ,2.27 Score
An Ostrich Story   5/8/2018

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke, " and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?" "I'll have the same, " says the ostrich. A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will Be $.40 please" The man reaches into his ...


2 Comments, 69 Views, 14 Votes ,2.82 Score
RandyinRI 44 M
1  Article
Bad jokes   5/4/2018

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he's been gettin' choked all day!


1 Comments, 12 Views, 8 Votes ,2.32 Score
Bigtitlover86x 32 M
8  Articles
It's for the points   5/4/2018

It's always just for the points, yo.


0 Comments, 7 Views, 4 Votes ,2.47 Score
An Irish Tale   5/3/2018

An Irish priest named Father O'Malley was transferred to Texas. <br><br> <br><br> Father O'Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a fine spring day in his new west Texas mission parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He ...


1 Comments, 81 Views, 11 Votes ,2.61 Score
A War Story   5/2/2018

An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Rimini, Italy, went to the local church for confession. When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said: <br><br> "Father. During World War II, a beautiful Jewish woman from our neighborhood knocked urgently on my door and asked me to hide her from the Nazis. So I hid her in my attic." ...


0 Comments, 59 Views, 9 Votes ,3.85 Score
funny joke   5/1/2018

chinese man rings boss “me no work I sick” boss says “when im sick I f*ck my wife try that” 2 hours later chinese man rings back “me better, you got nice house


0 Comments, 17 Views, 5 Votes ,3.80 Score
THE Talk   4/26/2018

A father asked his 10-year old son if he knew about the birds and the bees. <br><br> “I don’t want to know, ” the child said, bursting into tears. “Promise me you won’t tell me.” <br><br> Confused the father asked what was wrong. <br><br> The boy sobbed. “When I was six, I got the “there’s no Easter Bunny speech. At seven, I got the ...


1 Comments, 53 Views, 9 Votes ,2.78 Score
wickedcat2006 43 F
181  Articles
hand some   4/25/2018

When three people have sex, it's called a threesome. When two people have sex, it's called a twosome. Now I understand why they call you handsome.


1 Comments, 38 Views, 18 Votes ,5.03 Score
avrgszdcck 76 M
4  Articles
For a woman, why is sex with a man like a blizzard?   4/23/2018

For a woman, why is sex with a man like a blizzard? She never knows how deep it's going to get, nor how long it is going to last!


0 Comments, 13 Views, 5 Votes ,2.82 Score
avrgszdcck 76 M
4  Articles
Difference between a good girl and a nice girl.   4/23/2018

Difference between a good girl and a nice girl: A nice girl goes home and then goes to bed. A good girl goes to bed and then goes home!


0 Comments, 7 Views, 5 Votes ,4.12 Score
avrgszdcck 76 M
4  Articles
Difference between a good girl and a nice girl.   4/23/2018

Difference between a good girl and a nice girl: A nice girl knows it's hard to be good. A good girl knows it's got to be hard to be good!


0 Comments, 6 Views, 1 Votes ,2.40 Score
avrgszdcck 76 M
4  Articles
Difference between a good girl and a nice girl.   4/23/2018

Difference between a good girl and a nice girl: A nice girl knows it's hard to be good. A good girl knows it's got to be hard to be good!


0 Comments, 4 Views, 4 Votes ,0.92 Score
wickedcat2006 43 F
181  Articles
huge penis!!   4/22/2018

The man with a 25 inch penis. A man who had a 25 inch long penis went to his doctor to complain that he was having a problem with this rather massive instrument and has had more than one complaint. "Doctor, " he asked, in total frustration, "is there anything you can do for me?" The doctor replies, "Medically son, there is nothing I can do. But, I do know this witch who ...


3 Comments, 95 Views, 15 Votes ,4.82 Score
0ralProvider 35 M
5  Articles
think about this for second   4/22/2018

A garden is just a zoo for plants ....hmmmm <br><br> Show me your boobs!


0 Comments, 11 Views, 3 Votes ,4.41 Score
silverwolf_n_ut 54 M
2  Articles
midgit   4/22/2018

what do you call a mexican midgit a paragraph too short too be a essay


0 Comments, 15 Views, 8 Votes ,3.94 Score
kinginsize 55 M
2  Articles
free service   4/21/2018

once Mr. Paul wanted to buy health insurance, at the age of 70, he rang up health i9nsurance co., to send their agent to his home. After, having discussed all the illness, critical illness, accident cover, he started with the leg pulling. Paul: do you cover the Penis, as well, in the health policy. Agent: Yes Sir, we do. Paul: will you replace the penis, in the event of damage or failure. ...


0 Comments, 57 Views, 12 Votes ,4.74 Score
wickedcat2006 43 F
181  Articles
pokers   4/20/2018

Q: Why are pubic hairs curly? <br><br> A: So you don't poke your eye out.


4 Comments, 20 Views, 8 Votes ,2.78 Score
wickedcat2006 43 F
181  Articles
pokers   4/20/2018

Q: Why are pubic hairs curly? <br><br> A: So you don't poke your eye out.


1 Comments, 9 Views, 3 Votes ,3.92 Score
wickedcat2006 43 F
181  Articles
pokers   4/20/2018

Q: Why are pubic hairs curly? <br><br> A: So you don't poke your eye out.


0 Comments, 4 Views, 4 Votes ,4.41 Score
wickedcat2006 43 F
181  Articles
boobies   4/20/2018

Q. What did saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? <br><br> <br><br> A. "If we don't get some support here people are going to think were nuts." <br><br> <br><br>


1 Comments, 18 Views, 10 Votes ,3.58 Score
TaxGuy1943 75 M
2  Articles
Never Choke in a Restaurant in the South!   4/18/2018

Never Choke in a Restaurant in the South! <br><br> Two hillbillies walked into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talked about their moonshine operation. <br><br> Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table who is eating a sandwich, began to cough. <br><br> After a minute or so, it became apparent that she was in real distress. <br><br> One of ...


2 Comments, 56 Views, 6 Votes ,3.65 Score
A Bar Bet   4/17/2018

An Aussie drover walks into a bar with his pet crocodile by his side. <br><br> He puts the crocodile up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons. 'I'll make you a deal. I'll open this crocodile's mouth and place my manhood inside. Then the croc will close his mouth for minute. 'Then he'll open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unathed. In return for ...


0 Comments, 44 Views, 5 Votes ,3.47 Score
whorecurious 57 C
170  Articles
Working Girl   4/15/2018

Why are you in this particular line of work?' A sociology researcher asked the massage-parlor girl. <br><br> 'I'm trying to pay back this loan shark named Paul something or other, she said... So I'm literally rubbing peters to pay Paul.'


0 Comments, 25 Views, 14 Votes ,3.62 Score
whorecurious 57 C
170  Articles
Cat and a Rooster   4/15/2018

There was a cat and a rooster wondering by a lake. Both were famished, looking for any food they could find, but to no avail. Later on, the rooster finds himself focusing upon a worm, inching its way nearby. The rooster then proceeds to chase and then pounce on the worm, eating it quickly. Resting after his meal, he rubs his belly in pure satisfaction. <br><br> The cat looks at the ...


0 Comments, 53 Views, 12 Votes ,3.51 Score
Heathen_G 59 M
11  Articles‚ Score 23.4
When you think you're alone...   4/14/2018

...but your pets are watching. <br><br> https://Senior Sizzle.com/blog/724440/post_4090235.html


0 Comments, 22 Views, 9 Votes
Irish Pubs   4/14/2018

"As good as this bar is, " said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow, there's a wee place called McTavish's.... The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he'll buy the fifth drink." <br><br> "Well, Angus, " said the Englishman, "At my local in London, the Red Lion, the barman will ...


0 Comments, 51 Views, 10 Votes ,4.18 Score
A Blonde Cowboy   4/14/2018

A Sheriff in a small town in Wyoming walks out in the street and sees a blond haired cowboy coming toward him with nothing on but his cowboy hat, his gun and his boots. He arrests him for indecent exposure. <br><br> As he is locking him up, he asks, “Why in the world are you walking around like this?” <br><br> The cowboy says: “Well it's like this Sheriff, I was ...


1 Comments, 50 Views, 10 Votes ,4.18 Score
wickedcat2006 43 F
181  Articles
sales   4/14/2018

A woman goes into a adult toy shop to buy a dildo. She sees one behind the counter and tells the salesman, "I want that one!" <br><br> He replies, "It's not for sale." <br><br> The woman says, "Please I want that one, " again he says it's not for sale. <br><br> The woman says, "I'll give you a hundred dollars for ...


0 Comments, 54 Views, 11 Votes ,4.48 Score
wickedcat2006 43 F
181  Articles
smart   4/13/2018

Teacher, "Tell me the difference between a Callgirl, Girlfriend and Wife?" <br><br> The whole class was silent.. till little Johnny put his hand up and answered: <br><br> "Prepaid, Postpaid and Unlimited."


2 Comments, 39 Views, 15 Votes ,4.66 Score
wickedcat2006 43 F
181  Articles
rubber penis   4/13/2018

at the airport, Customs officer finds a rubber penis in a lady's handbag and asks, " Are you married?" lady: Yes <br><br> Officer: "Then why this?" <br><br> Lady: "You've landline at home ?" <br><br> Officer: Yes <br><br> Ladyquot;Then why do you carry a mobile?" <br><br> ...


0 Comments, 28 Views, 9 Votes ,4.07 Score
Heathen_G 59 M
11  Articles‚ Score 23.4
She wanted gentlemen damit....hahaha   4/12/2018

A 60 something year old woman was aggravated and bored due the serious lack of attention from men. So she get's online, finds the famous hookup site [for sex] and proceeds to fill out her profile... <br><br> "Mmmm", she wonders, "What should I use for picture"? < <br><br> She stands up, runs to her bedroom , finding her digital camera, carefully ...


0 Comments, 69 Views, 19 Votes ,0.09 Score
wickedcat2006 43 F
181  Articles
salesman   4/12/2018

The salesman is using sex to sell me a CD er, giving me pressure about my love life. 'Mr. Mercurio, it's a CD er carousel model. You load all of your CDs into this baby -- you're with your woman, you're gonna make love -- you press ", " you can go all night. ' And I'm like, 'You know, Mr. Salesman, I'm not really a CD man. You got something that s ...


0 Comments, 35 Views, 11 Votes ,2.61 Score
wickedcat2006 43 F
181  Articles
sale   4/12/2018

Q: Did you hear about the Bill Clinton sale at clothing stores on President's Day? <br><br> A: All pants half off.


0 Comments, 12 Views, 5 Votes ,4.45 Score
wickedcat2006 43 F
181  Articles
good ole days!!   4/12/2018

An old retired sailor puts on his old uniform and goes down to the docks once more for old time's sake. He hires a prostitute and takes her up to the room. He's going at it as best as he can for a guy his age and asks, "How am I doing?" <br><br> The prostitute says, "Well, sailor, you're doing about knots." <br><br> "How's ...


1 Comments, 44 Views, 4 Votes ,4.02 Score
...... and then the fight started...   4/12/2018

A guy is watching TV when his wife walks in and asks what's on the TV? The guy says "Dust!" ..... and then the fight started. <br><br> A wife was hinting about what she wanted for her upcoming anniversary. She Said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 - 180 in about 3 seconds." So, I bought her a new a new bathroom ale. ...and then the fight started. ...


0 Comments, 32 Views, 8 Votes ,3.48 Score
wickedcat2006 43 F
181  Articles
sanity   4/11/2018

A mad man saw his fellow mad friend crying by a river side. He sat down beside him and asked: ​​“Why are u crying?"​​ The other replied: ​​“I put a cube of in this river, but when I tasted, I felt nothing. It's not sweet!"​​ The mad man blew up with laughter and said: ​​​​"You! You are really very mad! Did you stir it?​​​​" ...


1 Comments, 25 Views, 6 Votes ,3.37 Score
Clodiusthefirst 72 M
16  Articles‚ Score 0.1
AT THE HOSPITAL   4/10/2018

How to you find the head nurse?............................................................................................................................................................................................Look for the one with dirty knees....


0 Comments, 16 Views, 9 Votes ,3.00 Score
Lighght9 19 M
3  Articles
Random post don’t read   4/4/2018

Rabble babble hctvdhdd. Tvthg fr h h g e h f g g h he g hhh g


1 Comments, 17 Views, 11 Votes ,1.30 Score
The Lion Tamer   4/4/2018

A ringmaster runs an ad for a lion tamer and two people show up. One is a retired golfer in his late sixties and the other is a gorgeous blonde in her mid-twenties. <br><br> The ringmaster tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you two had better be good or you're history. Here's your equipment -- chair, a ...


0 Comments, 58 Views, 16 Votes ,3.57 Score
ian1445 18 M
1  Article
guess the jokes!!!   3/31/2018

whats worse than finding a worm in ur apple? amp; Finding a snake!!! <br><br> who was the roundest knight at the banquet? Sir "CUM"frence !!! <br><br> working for a drogon is cool! unless... u get Fired!!! what did round tess say to larger tickles? <br><br> we are a giant tesstickles... (testicals)


0 Comments, 24 Views, 15 Votes ,1.45 Score
ImdaCoach 56 M
2  Articles
animal question   3/31/2018

If a ram is a lamb and lamb in a ram, why is a ram in the ass a goose?


0 Comments, 12 Views, 9 Votes ,1.29 Score
ImdaCoach 56 M
2  Articles
nudist resort   3/31/2018

The most popular guy at the nudist resort is the guy that can carry a cup of coffee in each hand yet still carry a half dozen donuts.


0 Comments, 20 Views, 9 Votes ,2.57 Score
Heaven   3/21/2018

God visited a woman and told her she must give up smoking, drinking and unmarried sex if she wants to get into Heaven. <br><br> The woman said she would try her best. God visited the woman a week later to see how she was getting on. <br><br> "Not bad" said the woman, "I've given up smoking and drinking but then I bent over to get some stuff out of the ...


5 Comments, 109 Views, 27 Votes ,5.03 Score
whorecurious 57 C
170  Articles
Tell if she's a Virgin   3/19/2018

A fellow talking to his friend says, "How can I tell if my girl is a virgin?" <br><br> Friend tells him, "You have to wait till your wedding night, you show it to her and ask what it is. If she calls it a penis, she's a virgin. If she says it's a cock, she's been around." <br><br> So the guy gets married, and in the hotel room he flips it ...


5 Comments, 140 Views, 32 Votes ,5.68 Score
whorecurious 57 C
170  Articles
Turkey Tattoo   3/19/2018

A woman walks into a tattoo parlor, and asks for a turkey on her right inner thigh and a Christmas Tree on her left inner thigh. <br><br> The tattoo guy looks at her and says, "If you don't mind me asking, why do you want those tattoos in those spots?" <br><br> The woman looks at him and replies, "My husband is always complaining he has nothing to eat ...


4 Comments, 66 Views, 19 Votes ,4.18 Score
whorecurious 57 C
170  Articles
Biker Sex   3/19/2018

Tired of the boring "straights" she'd been laying, a gal decided she'd find out if bikers were really the heavy "cocksmen" that she heard they were. <br><br> So she picked up a gigantic biker and went with him up to his pad. Stripped and ready, anxiously awaiting some real action, she was astonished to see that his fully erect dick was only two inches long. ...


0 Comments, 80 Views, 21 Votes ,3.50 Score
The Hit Man   3/19/2018

Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them, "Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up." "Sure, " they said, "You're welcome." So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer. Part way around the course, one of the friends ...


0 Comments, 81 Views, 20 Votes ,4.78 Score
What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives women crazy?   3/18/2018

A $100 bill


0 Comments, 13 Views, 10 Votes ,2.99 Score
wickedcat2006 43 F
181  Articles
breast   3/18/2018

how much calcium is there in woman's breasts? <br><br> answer: its enough to help a man's boneless thing stand up!!!


0 Comments, 13 Views, 9 Votes ,3.00 Score
Terrible jokes that break the ice.   3/16/2018

Q. Why didn't Ken ever get Barbie pregnant?.... <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> A. Because he came in a different box!


1 Comments, 21 Views, 12 Votes ,2.45 Score
wickedcat2006 43 F
181  Articles
condoms   3/15/2018

Q. Why are condoms transparent? <br><br> A: So that sperms can at least enjoy the ene even if their entry is Restricted!


0 Comments, 22 Views, 14 Votes ,2.66 Score
subxboytoy 25 M
6  Articles
derka derka   3/15/2018

baka la ah derka derka heh


0 Comments, 8 Views, 5 Votes ,1.19 Score
subxboytoy 25 M
6  Articles
pokes for tokes   3/14/2018

pointless... as i need points rabble babble scramble dabble


0 Comments, 12 Views, 6 Votes ,0.23 Score
Thisguy61364 41 M
5  Articles
Jokes   3/12/2018

How do you stop a rhinoceros from charging? Take away its credit card!!


0 Comments, 19 Views, 16 Votes ,1.80 Score
BWE55 55 M
27  Articles
orgasm   3/11/2018

I said to my girlfriend the other night will you tell me when you orgasm? She relied that depends. On what? I said If there's a phone nearby she replied.


0 Comments, 28 Views, 12 Votes ,2.27 Score
Funny joke   3/11/2018

A man walks into his house with a duck under his arm. He walks up to his wife with it and says, "This is the pig I've been fucking'." His wife says, "That's a duck." He quickly replies, "I wasn't talking to you."


2 Comments, 30 Views, 18 Votes ,2.58 Score
BWE55 55 M
27  Articles
Frenchman, Italian and Irishman   3/11/2018

Sitting around a table in the pub the Italian says. You know what, when I make love to my wife and she climaxes she raises her body one foot off the bed. The Frenchman says, thats nothing when I make love to my girlfriend and she orgasms her body rises three feet off the bed. Scratching his head the Irishman says thats nothing, when I finish making love to my wife I wipe my dick on the curtains ...


1 Comments, 54 Views, 16 Votes ,3.42 Score
whorecurious 57 C
170  Articles
A man and his new piece   3/10/2018

A man was lying in bed with his new girlfriend. After having great sex she spent the next hour just rubbing his testicles ... Something she just loved to do. As he was enjoying it, he turned and asked her, "Why do you love doing that?" "Because, " she replied ... "I really miss mine."


0 Comments, 35 Views, 13 Votes ,3.14 Score
Thisguy61364 41 M
5  Articles
Couple swap   3/7/2018

John and Ted went away for the weekend with their wives. After a night of partying, John and Ted diuss swapping wives for the night. John really liked the idea because his wife was on her period. They agree to it and decide they will tell each other it the next morning how it went by tapping their spoon on their cup for each time they have sex <br><br> At breakfast the next day, John ...


1 Comments, 78 Views, 13 Votes ,2.14 Score
ilovewhitejizz 34 M
5  Articles
Never steal a man's beer   3/7/2018

There I was is sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig. <br><br> "Well, whatcha gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears. <br><br> "Come on, man, " the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I cant stand to see a man ...


0 Comments, 70 Views, 14 Votes ,4.42 Score
Whtdude4u 35 M
4  Articles
Dad joke   3/6/2018

What did the dad buffalo say to his son when dropping him off at school....? Bison


0 Comments, 34 Views, 19 Votes ,3.78 Score
Whtdude4u 35 M
4  Articles
Lol   3/2/2018

Why don't you give Elsa balloons? <br><br> She will "let em go"


0 Comments, 25 Views, 12 Votes ,2.80 Score
Bloomfield50 28 M
1  Article
Learn to Laugh   2/26/2018

People honestly need to have a sense of humor to get through life. This is me just ranting but i find humor in anything (sometimes dark humor) but honestly laughing is one of the healthiest things for you. telling a good joke is a little trickey though. a good joke can setup the mood and conversation for the rest of the night or relationship.


1 Comments, 24 Views, 10 Votes ,2.59 Score
passion junk mail, spam, and scams   2/26/2018

I love this website as a fun place, but talk about jokes: How about all of the lying messages, fakeprofiles, and scams that we all receive here. They need their own name. I am sure that most of you get more of it than I do, and I get a lot. Vulgarity comes to my mind immediately, but there has got to be a better name for this. Does anyone have a catchy name they want to share? No one has ...


1 Comments, 55 Views, 10 Votes ,3.19 Score
WHAT IS,,,   2/24/2018

A PIRATES FAVORITE LETTER IN TEH ALPHABET??? <br><br> MOST REPLY RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR <br><br> WRONG!@! <br><br> TIS THE CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC


0 Comments, 38 Views, 19 Votes ,4.57 Score
BWE55 55 M
27  Articles
69   2/24/2018

Guy fancies a 69 with his mrs but she is on her period. After much nagging she fianlly conceeds and they get down to business. Half way through they hear the doorbell. He rolles off her and she says I can't go look at the state of me, Ive blood all over my legs, well I cant go either he says I have blood all over my mouth. Dont worry she says if they ask just say you've been eating a jam ...


0 Comments, 82 Views, 15 Votes ,3.74 Score
whorecurious 57 C
170  Articles
Looking for Love   2/17/2018

A woman posts an ad in the news paper that looks like this... Looking for man with these qualifications: - won't beat me up - won't run away from - is great in bed. She got lots of phone calls replying to her ad but met someone perfect at her door one day. The man she met said, "Hi, I'm Bob. I have no arms so I won't beat you up and no legs so I won't run away." So ...


2 Comments, 99 Views, 27 Votes ,4.82 Score
redduracell 47 M
10  Articles
Olympic Spirit   2/16/2018

Happy sporting husband brings Olympic medals home, and proudly says to wife , "I'm getting a gold again tonight ". She says "Go for the silver and come second for a change "


1 Comments, 41 Views, 23 Votes ,5.23 Score
TravelingMan524 66 M
16  Articles‚ Score 2.9
fmf threesomes   2/16/2018

Have you read the new book "FMF Threesomes ...by Sharon Dick


0 Comments, 35 Views, 17 Votes ,4.54 Score
Felicity_dayer 22 F
1  Article
Is necessary to be an extrovert person in a first date?   2/15/2018

Many people think that to be extrovert o fanny is a good way for impress your crush, I think it´s just about your personality. Not its necessary make joks or yes? <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> What do you think about this importan aspect?...


1 Comments, 23 Views, 13 Votes ,2.30 Score
Dumb Blond Men   2/12/2018

A blonde man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: "Did you find the shampoo?" He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do...it's for dry hair, and I've already wet mine." ----------------------- A blonde man sees a letter lying on his doormat. It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND." He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up. ...


0 Comments, 55 Views, 16 Votes ,4.45 Score
The Bug   2/11/2018

A man and a woman were driving down the road arguing about his infidelity, when suddenly the woman reached over and cut the man's penis off and tossed it out the window. <br><br> Driving behind the couple was a man and his 8-year-old daughter. The girl was chatting away to her father when all of a sudden the penis splattered into their car windshield, stuck for a moment, then ...


2 Comments, 84 Views, 19 Votes ,5.23 Score
BWE55 55 M
27  Articles
Dogs at the Vets   2/11/2018

Two dogs at the vets. 1st dog says to the other dog 'What you here for?' 2nd says 'I keep rubbing myself up my owners leg so he's having my balls cut off'. 'Ooch' says the first dog. 2nd dog says 'What you here for then?'. 1st dog says 'Look at my owner she's beautiful, perfect beasts, a tight arse, abosolutely fabulous. Well she was bending over ...


0 Comments, 79 Views, 15 Votes ,3.90 Score
BWE55 55 M
27  Articles
Dogs at the Vets   2/11/2018

Two dogs at the vets. 1st dog says to the other dog 'What you here for?' 2nd says 'I keep rubbing myself up my owners leg so he's having my balls cut off'. 'Ooch' says the first dog. 2nd dog says 'What you here for then?'. 1st dog says 'Look at my owner she's beautiful, perfect beasts, a tight arse, abosolutely fabulous. Well she was bending over ...


1 Comments, 48 Views, 10 Votes ,3.98 Score
ff71009 32 M
1  Article
Hello there   2/10/2018

Hello there


0 Comments, 21 Views, 5 Votes ,0.53 Score
young_toymaker 19 M
4  Articles
cancer and trumpets   2/10/2018

one diseases asks to another "im a capricorn, what r u?" <br><br> ..."cancer" says the other <br><br> -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- <br><br> some girls starts blowing air into a guys di*k during a bj <br><br> "what r u doing!" he yells <br><br> ...


1 Comments, 28 Views, 10 Votes
whorecurious 57 C
170  Articles
Talking Pussy   2/10/2018

Do You Know How To Make a Pussy Talk ????? <br><br> <br><br> <br><br> Put a Tongue In It !!!!!


1 Comments, 24 Views, 12 Votes ,4.04 Score
ilovewhitejizz 34 M
5  Articles
sex kitten vs. a bear   2/9/2018

Long time ago. I was having a relationship with someone I shouldn't, so we were sneaking around. We were staying at a friend's place in Colorado, very cool, rustic, fireplaces, make-sure-the doors-are-locked because-there-are-bears kind of place. We were sleeping in separate bedrooms, but in the middle of the night I decide, very unusually for me, to be naughty. So I pschye myself into ...


1 Comments, 66 Views, 11 Votes ,1.30 Score
ilovewhitejizz 34 M
5  Articles
happy birthday sex   2/9/2018

So it was my 18th birthday. It was about 12:30am at my house, and my girlfriend of the time and I were laying on the couch watching a movie. My family had gone to bed earlier, and my girlfriend turns her head and says to me "I'm going to give you your birthday present now". We start going at it on the couch, and everything's going well. We're in the spooning position, and ...


0 Comments, 59 Views, 5 Votes ,2.49 Score
ilovewhitejizz 34 M
5  Articles
i need a eye patch   2/9/2018

I was doing missionary with my ex while in high school. We were in the gym and I was so turned on I pulled out and blasted in my own eye. I turned around because my girlfriend had this terrified look of embarrassment on her face only to stare into the angry face of her gym teacher while the spooge dripped down my eye onto my lip. Yeah that was a great day....


1 Comments, 32 Views, 8 Votes ,2.78 Score
Birds and Bees   2/9/2018

A father asked his 10-year old son if he knew about the birds and the bees. <br><br> “I don’t want to know, ” the child said, bursting into tears. “Promise me you won’t tell me.” <br><br> Confused the father asked what was wrong. <br><br> The boy sobbed. “When I was six, I got the “there’s no Easter Bunny speech. At seven, I got the ...


1 Comments, 47 Views, 10 Votes ,5.38 Score
Deron139 22 M
7  Articles
Pussy fart   2/7/2018

What is a man's first thought while he's having sex with who ever they're doing it with and hear her pussy fart. Do you stay serious and keep going on. Laugh and joke a little about it. Cause when I first heard it the girl was embarrassed and I teased her about it


1 Comments, 20 Views, 7 Votes ,2.53 Score
BWE55 55 M
27  Articles
blow job   2/6/2018

Bloke walks into a bar and asks for 39 gin and tonics. The barman asks 'What you celebrating?' Bloke says ' My First Blow Job' 'Congratulations' says the barman 'Have one on the house'. 'No thanks' says the bloke. 'If 39 Gin and Tonics don't get rid of the taste nothing will'.


0 Comments, 31 Views, 7 Votes ,3.04 Score
Spartanknight91 26 M
2  Articles‚ Score 0.5
Apples   2/5/2018

A bus driver and a doctor were in love with the same women <br><br> The bus driver had to leave for week and before he left he gave is love 7 apples


0 Comments, 43 Views, 8 Votes ,3.25 Score
BWE55 55 M
27  Articles
Three Virginal Daughters   2/5/2018

Woman has 3 virgin daughters which all got married on the same day in a triple wedding. After the wedding receptions the mother asks the girls if they could let her know how they are doing on there honeymoons as they have never had sex before and she wants to know they are okay. The girls agree and off they go on their seperate honeymoons. After about three days the mother receives a postcard ...


0 Comments, 91 Views, 11 Votes ,4.66 Score
BWE55 55 M
27  Articles
Irish Priest at Confessional   2/2/2018

Father O'Reilly always gave Confession and Father O'Malley would take the service. This went on for years until one Sunday Father O'Reilly fell ill and could not do the normal Sunday Confessional. Father O'Malley being a total novice at confessional asked Father O'Reilly what he should say. 'Don't Worry' said Father O' Reilly I wll write down all the sins and ...


1 Comments, 62 Views, 11 Votes ,4.66 Score
Bath Night   1/31/2018

A couple living in a small Minnesota town take on an 18-year-old girl as a lodger. She asked if she could have a bath but the woman of the house told her they didn't have a bathroom as such but she could use a tin bath in front of the fire. <br><br> "Monday's the best night, when my husband goes out to bowl, " the woman said. <br><br> So the young girl ...


0 Comments, 72 Views, 13 Votes ,5.66 Score
ricksac1958 60 M
8  Articles
50 Shades Darker   1/30/2018

I tell my girlfriend that I'd like to see 50 Shades Darker. So she punched me in the eye and gave me a cataract.


0 Comments, 14 Views, 6 Votes ,3.08 Score
BWE55 55 M
27  Articles
Red Indian Boy   1/29/2018

One morning a little red indian boy asks his dad 'Where Do I get my name from Dad?' His Father replies 'Well son, look at Little River over there. When he was born his father stepped out of his teepee and the first thing he saw was a little river running passed his teepee, so he named his son Little River'. 'Silver Cloud over their was named so because when he was born his ...


0 Comments, 54 Views, 6 Votes ,2.80 Score
BWE55 55 M
27  Articles
Girlfiends parents   1/29/2018

A young lad sees an ad in the paper for bike. He goes and has a look. Its about 10 old but is in perfect condition. The boy asks the seller how do you keep the crome so clean. The seller says 'Always put vasoline on it before it rains'. The boy buys the bike and is as pleased as punch. That night he goes over to see his new girlfriend and meets her parents for the first time. His ...


1 Comments, 92 Views, 17 Votes ,5.95 Score
BWE55 55 M
27  Articles
Drunk Oral   1/29/2018

Coming home from the pub drunk a guy fancies giving his wife oral sex before going to sleep, so he slowly and quietly walks in to the bedroom. slips under the duvet from the bottom of the bed and starts to lick the pussy. After a while she starts moaning and wriggling like never before, eventually she climaxes and he thinks to himself 'God I was good tonight' Wanting to brush his teeth ...


1 Comments, 78 Views, 10 Votes ,4.38 Score
BWE55 55 M
27  Articles
At the Cinema   1/29/2018

I was at the cinema the other night with my girlfriend when she nudged me and said the man next to here was having a wank. I told her to ignore him and watch the film. But she said 'I can't he's using my hand!!'


0 Comments, 40 Views, 6 Votes ,4.50 Score
BWE55 55 M
27  Articles
Naughty Girls   1/29/2018

A group of girls were killed in a bus accident and find themselves outside the pearly gates with St Peter. St Peter says 'Lisa do you know what a penis is'? 'Yes' says lisa 'I touch one once on its head'. 'ok' says Peter 'put the finger you touched it with in the font of holy water and you may enter'. Lisa obliged and went through the gates. Next was Sally. ...


0 Comments, 51 Views, 6 Votes ,3.93 Score
JoldmanL 71 M
10  Articles
Do You Golf?   1/26/2018

A Minister, a Bishop and a Rabbi were playing golf, when one of the caddys asked a question that got them thinking and how to respond. "How do you decide what to give and what to keep.... ? <br><br> They answered this way it is the 10 / 10 / 100 percent rule... This caused a big debate on how to apply it.... The Bishop said I draw a circle inside a circle and stand outside this ...


1 Comments, 58 Views, 6 Votes ,2.51 Score
softsweets777 25 F
3  Articles
I have a joke   1/25/2018

What do you call a joke you wear around your neck? <br><br> A pundant!


3 Comments, 22 Views, 12 Votes ,1.21 Score
The Barber   1/24/2018

A guy sticks his head into a barbershop and asked: "How long before I can get a haircut?" <br><br> The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said: "About 2 hours." <br><br> The guy left. <br><br> A few days later the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked: "How long before I can get a haircut?" ...


1 Comments, 45 Views, 10 Votes ,4.58 Score
Email   1/23/2018

Got an e-mail today from a "bored housewife 33, looking for some action!" I've sent her my ironing, that'll keep her busy.


0 Comments, 13 Views, 9 Votes ,2.78 Score
.   1/23/2018

Got an e-mail today from a "bored housewife 33, looking for some action!" I've sent her my ironing, that'll keep her busy.


0 Comments, 5 Views, 2 Votes ,1.04 Score
SparePrickBH 57 M
6  Articles
I farted in a lift once   1/23/2018

It was wrong on so many levels


0 Comments, 14 Views, 3 Votes ,1.47 Score
whorecurious 57 C
170  Articles
A Barbie from Santa   1/20/2018

A little girl is in line to see Santa. When it's her turn, she climbs up on Santa's lap. Santa asks, 'What would you like Santa to bring you for Christmas'? <br><br> The little girl replies, 'I want a Barbie and G.I. Joe'. <br><br> Santa looks at the little girl for a moment and says, 'I thought Barbie comes with Ken'. <br><br> ...


0 Comments, 57 Views, 11 Votes ,3.54 Score
whorecurious 57 C
170  Articles
Athlete of the Year   1/20/2018

Not really a joke.. but it really is.. <br><br> Did you hear about this athlete? <br><br> He was so fast he won first and third place in a jack off contest!!! <br><br> Lol. [ had to be a young man ]...


1 Comments, 24 Views, 10 Votes ,3.19 Score
SparePrickBH 57 M
6  Articles
YOU DONT HAVE TO BE A PILOT TO FLY IN THE ROYAL AIR FORCE   1/12/2018

.... said their recruitment banner. <br><br> So you can imagine my utter shock and indignation of being forcibly frogmarched (at gunpoint no less!) from the cockpit of one of their Euro-fighter Typhoons before I could work out how to start the engine....


1 Comments, 34 Views, 6 Votes ,1.37 Score
SparePrickBH 57 M
6  Articles
Failing to stop for the police   1/11/2018

Driving home a man sees a police car behind him put on his blue lights and he floors it, hoping to get away. His car is fast but after a few miles realises he just isn't going to shake his pursuer and finally yields. <br><br> The police officer wearily walks over to the stopped vehicle and tells the driver. "I've had a long day, there's a mere 5 minutes before my ...


4 Comments, 84 Views, 17 Votes ,6.10 Score
wetwildsd69 44 M
6  Articles
Pretty funny   1/9/2018

A man approached a very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and said, "I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" <br><br> The woman looked puzzled. "Why do you want to talk to me?" she asked. <br><br> "Because every time I talk to a woman with beautiful tits like yours, my wife appears out of ...


4 Comments, 56 Views, 15 Votes ,4.36 Score
wetwildsd69 44 M
6  Articles
A funny one   1/9/2018

Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E and F are the letters used to define bra sizes? If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for... It is about time you became informed: <br><br> A ... Almost Boobs B ... Barely there. C ... Can't Complain! D ... Damn! DD... Double damn! E ... Enormous! F ... Fake


2 Comments, 25 Views, 11 Votes ,3.17 Score
wetwildsd69 44 M
6  Articles
Humor for the day   1/9/2018

This morning I was beaten up by a big breasted woman in an elevator. <br><br> I was staring at her boobs when she said, "Would you please press 1, please?" <br><br> So I did. <br><br> I don't remember much after that.


1 Comments, 22 Views, 11 Votes ,5.04 Score
wetwildsd69 44 M
6  Articles
Boob time   1/9/2018

I was telling a girl I met in a bar last night about my uncanny ability to guess the day a woman was born on just by feeling her boobs. <br><br> "Really?" she said. "Go on then... Try." <br><br> After about 30 seconds of fondling she began to lose patience. <br><br> "Come on, " she demanded, "What day was I born on?" ...


2 Comments, 47 Views, 9 Votes ,4.49 Score
ready4use5 43 M
7  Articles
vagina   1/6/2018

whats the difference between a a vagina and pizza? You eat the crust on pizza


3 Comments, 31 Views, 14 Votes ,4.10 Score
SparePrickBH 57 M
6  Articles
Size matters   1/5/2018

As I dropped my trousers and slid my boxers down she exclaimed "Ere, ain't you got a small organ" <br><br> I looked up at her, spread-eagled and without breaking my stride replied "I didn't realise I was expected to play in a Cathedral" <br><br> -------- <br><br> She asked "and who do you think you're going to please with ...


3 Comments, 84 Views, 13 Votes ,3.14 Score
How Adam Got Eve   1/4/2018

Adam was hanging around the Garden of Eden feeling very lly. <br><br> So, God asked him, “What's wrong with you?” <br><br> Adam said he didn't have any to talk to. <br><br> God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman. <br><br> He said, “This pretty lady will gather food for you, she will cook for ...


4 Comments, 63 Views, 13 Votes ,4.49 Score
letsfucrightnow 46 M
8  Articles
funny   1/3/2018

what did the postitude say to the rooster any cock will do lol


7 Comments, 30 Views, 16 Votes ,0.04 Score
Doctor Who   1/1/2018

There was a soldier in Nam that was famous for his socializing. After about a year, he noticed a problem with his friend and went in for a checkup. They had never seen anything quite like the problem he had, but treated him with the usual meds for social diseases. After the usual amount of time, they noticed that the problem had not g away, but had gotten worse. They decided to send him to a ...


1 Comments, 67 Views, 11 Votes ,3.17 Score
LongCalmKisses 56 M
1  Article
Looney Tunes   12/30/2017

Q: What do you call a rabbit with a crooked dick? <br><br> A: Fucks Funny


0 Comments, 12 Views, 9 Votes ,1.07 Score
DrNera 46 M
1  Article
Frank and Wally   12/29/2017

Two hobos, Frank and Wally were walking through the rail yard one morning when Frank said "Yesterday was a lucky day for me. I found a $20 bill laying on the ground by the tracks." Then Wally said "That is lucky but not near as lucky as I was last week. I was walking down the tracks and saw a woman tied to the tracks. So of course, I untied her and then we proceeded to make love ...


3 Comments, 91 Views, 20 Votes ,3.64 Score
Sex at 79   12/28/2017

I just took a leaflet out of my mailbox, informing me that I can have sex at 79. I'm so happy, because I live at number 71. So it's not too far to walk home afterwards. And it's even on the same side of the street. I don't even have to cross the road!


1 Comments, 30 Views, 13 Votes ,2.98 Score
Senior Dating   12/27/2017

Dorothy and Edna, two "senior" widows, are talking: <br><br> Dorothy: "That nice George Johnson asked me out for a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer." <br><br> Edna: "Well, I'll tell you. He shows up at my apartment punctually at 7 pm, dressed like such a gentleman ...


2 Comments, 73 Views, 13 Votes ,2.98 Score
mike   12/27/2017

Little mike was sitting on a park bench munching away from a big box of chocolates. <br><br> <br><br> An older man, sitting on the bench across the way, says "Y'know, son, if you keep eating those chocolates that way you're going to get fat, and acne, and bad teeth". <br><br> <br><br> Little mike says "Y'know, sir, my ...


2 Comments, 56 Views, 7 Votes ,3.04 Score
whorecurious 57 C
170  Articles
Stop Masturbating   12/25/2017

A man is at the optometrist getting his eyes checked. "You need to stop masturbating so much, " the optometrist says. "Why?" asks the man. "Is it going to make me go blind?" The optometrist looks around and says "no, but it's making the other patients very uncomfortable."


1 Comments, 44 Views, 20 Votes ,5.55 Score
whorecurious 57 C
170  Articles
Little Sally   12/25/2017

Little Sally came home from school with a proud smile on her face. She told her mom, "Frankie Brown showed me his willy today." Before mom could raise a concern sally said, "It reminded me of a peanut..." With a secret smile mom asked, "Was it really small?" Sally replied, "No... really salty!


2 Comments, 46 Views, 19 Votes ,6.03 Score
whorecurious 57 C
170  Articles
pregnancy success   12/25/2017

Success is like pregnancy. Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you got fucked to achieve it!!


1 Comments, 27 Views, 13 Votes ,5.16 Score
niceguystanding 47 M
18  Articles
Ice Cream Challenge   12/24/2017

There was this new ice cream parlor in my neighborhood, and they put up this sign, "We have ANY flavor of ice cream!" Well, I couldn't walk by that store too many times before taking up a challenge like that. <br><br> So I go in and ask, "You got any pussy flavored ice cream?" And the guy smiles and hands over a sample scoop of pussy-flavored ice cream. ...


0 Comments, 66 Views, 12 Votes ,4.74 Score
ready4use5 43 M
7  Articles
Funny   12/20/2017

What’s the difference between light and hard ? It’s easier to sleep with the light on than a hard on


0 Comments, 21 Views, 15 Votes ,3.28 Score
magic dildo   12/19/2017

One day a sexually unsatisfied wife went into a porn store. She told that man behind the counter that her husband just couldn't get her to orgasm and wans't very pleasing at all. The man suggested toys, dildos, and viberators. Apparently she had already tried all those things and they still didn't work. The man went to the back of the store and came back holding an old wooden box. ...


0 Comments, 87 Views, 17 Votes ,4.40 Score
Payback   12/18/2017

One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife, “Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in ‘Slim Fast’. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!” <br><br> His wife was not amused, and decided that she simple could not let such a comment go unrewarded. <br><br> The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his ...


0 Comments, 76 Views, 14 Votes ,3.62 Score
Clodiusthefirst 72 M
16  Articles‚ Score 0.1
SNOW!!   12/15/2017

What do you a snowman in the Sahara ...


1 Comments, 52 Views, 8 Votes ,2.78 Score
stlover4744 35 M
3  Articles
What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?   12/11/2017

’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.


1 Comments, 18 Views, 12 Votes ,3.68 Score
Hard_Liquor05 31 M
6  Articles
Old lady in a pawn shop   12/11/2017

So there's this old lady visiting a pawn shop looking for antiques. As she is walking around there's a parrot at the front desk that keeps mouthing off at her, calling her a cunt and an old bitch, etc. After 4 or 5 times walking by and being offended, she asks the clerk how much for the parrot. Shocked, the clerk warns her that the previous owner had taught the bird pretty much only ...


0 Comments, 82 Views, 12 Votes ,3.68 Score
Hard_Liquor05 31 M
6  Articles
Old lady in a pawn shop   12/11/2017

So there's this old lady visiting a pawn shop looking for antiques. As she is walking around there's a parrot at the front desk that keeps mouthing off at her, calling her a cunt and an old bitch, etc. After 4 or 5 times walking by and being offended, she asks the clerk how much for the parrot. Shocked, the clerk warns her that the previous owner had taught the bird pretty much only ...


0 Comments, 13 Views, 4 Votes ,2.86 Score
Hard_Liquor05 31 M
6  Articles
Old lady in a pawn shop   12/11/2017

So there's this old lady visiting a pawn shop looking for antiques. As she is walking around there's a parrot at the front desk that keeps mouthing off at her, calling her a cunt and an old bitch, etc. After 4 or 5 times walking by and being offended, she asks the clerk how much for the parrot. Shocked, the clerk warns her that the previous owner had taught the bird pretty much only ...


0 Comments, 14 Views, 5 Votes ,2.49 Score
Hard_Liquor05 31 M
6  Articles
Mickey/Minnie divorce   12/10/2017

Mickey and Minnie are sitting in divorce court. The judge is flipping through the paperwork and says: "Mickey, I don't usually ask questions like this but you guys are such a high profile couple, I have to know; it says here that you're divorcing Minnie because she's weird. Can you explain?" Mickey looks up at the judge and says: I didn't say she was weird, I said ...


0 Comments, 58 Views, 12 Votes ,4.92 Score
Hard_Liquor05 31 M
6  Articles
What's the difference....   12/10/2017

Q:What's the difference between three cocks and a joke? A:Your mom can't take a joke!


0 Comments, 5 Views, 5 Votes ,1.19 Score
Hard_Liquor05 31 M
6  Articles
What's the difference....   12/10/2017

Q:What's the difference between three cocks and a joke? A:Your mom can't take a joke!


2 Comments, 11 Views, 3 Votes ,3.43 Score
stlover4744 35 M
3  Articles
What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?   12/10/2017

I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face.


1 Comments, 8 Views, 3 Votes ,0.98 Score