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It keeps happening 7/26/2007
>> >> YOU CAN'T FIX STUPID These people prove it
is a terminal condition. As >> always, competition this year has been keen.
The candidates this year >> are... >> >> >> Eighth Place In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got
stuck and drowned in >> two feet of water after squeezing head first through
an 18-inch-wide >> sewer grate to retrieve his car keys. >> >> Seventh Place A 49-year-old San ...
1 Comments, 99 Views,
2 Votes
,1.73 Score
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Flat Belly 7/26/2007
A little boy walks into his parents'
room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down.
The mom sees her and quickly dismounts, worried about
what her has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find
him. The sees his mom and asks, "What were you and
Dad doing?"
The mother replies, "Well, you know your dad has a
big tummy and sometimes I have to get on ...
2 Comments, 166 Views,
10 Votes
,4.58 Score
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The Trainee Priest 7/26/2007
Father Frank, the trainee priest, has been left in charge
of the daily confessioal by Father Ernest who gave him a
list of sins and their appropriate absolutions. "Forgive me Father, " says the first sinner.
"For I have stolen." Father Frank consults
his list. For stealing you must say 7 Hail Mary's."
The second sinner confesses to lying and after looking
it up on his list Father Frank deals out ...
2 Comments, 161 Views,
15 Votes
,3.74 Score
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Why do Basketball players make crummy lovers? 7/25/2007
LOL.. I love this one because my husband plays in a couple
of basketball leagues during the winter...
So... Why do Basketball players make crummy lovers???
Because they dribble before they shoot!!!
2 Comments, 178 Views,
8 Votes
,3.01 Score
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a new couple 7/24/2007
a guy and gal date for a year, but they both agree not to have
sex til they are married, well the year goes by and soon they
are to wed. the few minutes before the wedding she confesses
that the breasts he has not seen are just padding, she was
flat as a board. he tells her that's ok hun breasts are
not the important thing, I love you. then he says I have a
confession to make also, I am hung like ...
1 Comments, 118 Views,
7 Votes
,2.79 Score
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Honeymooners 7/24/2007
The newlyweds are in their honeymoon
room and the groom decides to let the bride know where she
stands right from the start of the marriage.
He proceeds to take off his trousers and throw them at her.
He says, "Put those on."
The bride replies, "I can't wear your trousers."
He replies, "And don't forget that! I will always
wear the pants in the ...
1 Comments, 146 Views,
14 Votes
,4.74 Score
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Kentucky fried chicken 7/24/2007
Q. Why are women like Kentucky
Fried Chicken? A. After you've finished with the thigh and breasts,
all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in....
1 Comments, 39 Views,
12 Votes
,4.04 Score
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Oral sex & Anal sex 7/24/2007
Q. What's the difference
between oral sex and anal sex? A. Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak....
1 Comments, 68 Views,
12 Votes
,4.74 Score
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Bungee Jumping & Hookers 7/24/2007
Q. What does bungee jumping
and hookers have in common? A. They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks,
you're screwed....
1 Comments, 24 Views,
10 Votes
,4.38 Score
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Wonder Bra 7/24/2007
Q. Why is it called a Wonder Bra?
A. When she takes it off, you wonder where her tits went....
1 Comments, 28 Views,
10 Votes
,4.58 Score
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Yankee 7/24/2007
Q. What's the definition
of a Yankee? A. Same thing as a ''quickie'', only
you do it yourself....
1 Comments, 21 Views,
11 Votes
,4.48 Score
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Why men die first. 7/24/2007
Q. Why do men die before their
wives? A. They want to....
1 Comments, 40 Views,
10 Votes
,4.78 Score
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How to make your wife scream! 7/24/2007
Q. How do you make your wife scream
while having sex? A. Call her and tell her....
1 Comments, 87 Views,
12 Votes
,4.04 Score
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Thanksgiving 7/24/2007
Q. What would happen if the Pilgrims
had killed cats instead of turkeys? A. We'd eat pussy every Thanksgiving....
1 Comments, 20 Views,
11 Votes
,4.48 Score
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Lesbian Frogs 7/24/2007
Q. What did the two lesbian frogs
say to each other? A. WE DO TASTE LIKE CHICKEN!...
1 Comments, 16 Views,
9 Votes
,4.71 Score
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Whats the difference 7/24/2007
Q. What's the difference
between a wife and a wheelie bin? A. You only have to take out a wheelie bin once a week....
1 Comments, 16 Views,
10 Votes
,4.58 Score
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Which is Worse? 7/24/2007
Q. What's worse than getting
by Jack the Ripper? A. Getting fingered by Captain Hook....
1 Comments, 20 Views,
10 Votes
,4.58 Score
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Odd one out 7/24/2007
Q. What doesn't belong
in this list : Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob? A. Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you
can't beat a blowjob....
1 Comments, 16 Views,
11 Votes
,4.10 Score
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Washing Machine 7/24/2007
Q. What is the difference between
a woman and a washing machine? A. You can bung your load in a washing machine and it won't
call you a week later....
1 Comments, 21 Views,
8 Votes
,5.10 Score
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Rubics Cube 7/24/2007
Q. What do a Rubix cube and a penis
have in common? A. The longer you play with them, the harder they get....
1 Comments, 17 Views,
7 Votes
,5.59 Score
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Penis & Bonus 7/24/2007
Whats the difference between
a penis and a bonus? your wife will always blow your bonus!...
1 Comments, 24 Views,
8 Votes
,5.80 Score
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topic of the day:letter to an ex husband (funny as fuck) 7/23/2007
Dear Wife:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm
leaving you for good. I've been a good man to you for seven years & I have
nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell
me that you had quit your job today & that was the last straw.
Last week, you came home & didn't even notice that
I had gotten a new hair cut, cooked your ...
4 Comments, 207 Views,
24 Votes
,6.65 Score
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THIEVES AT WORK 7/23/2007
Two men are robbing a hotel. "I hear sirens. Jump!" says the first one. "But we're on the 13th floor!" his fellow
thief replies. "This is no time to be superstitious!"
1 Comments, 71 Views,
7 Votes
,1.77 Score
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stuttering 7/22/2007
A man with a stuttering problem tries everything he can
to stop stuttering, but he can't. Finally, he goes
to a world renowned doctor for help. The doctor examines
him and says "I've found your problem. Your penis
is 12 inches long. It weighs so much it is pulling on your
lungs, causing you to stutter." So the man asks, "What's
he cure, doctor?". To which the doctor replies, "We
have to cut off 6 ...
1 Comments, 63 Views,
4 Votes
,2.86 Score
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sex ed 7/22/2007
Little Johnny was sitting in Beginning Sex Ed class one
day when the teacher drew a picture of a penis on the board.
"Does anyone know what this is?" She asked.
Little Johnny raised his hand and said, "Sure, my
daddy has two of them!" "Two of them?!"
the teacher asked. "Yeah. He has a little one that
he uses to pee with and a big one that he uses to brush mommy's
teeth!"
1 Comments, 117 Views,
7 Votes
,3.30 Score
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plane crash 7/22/2007
Five people are on a plane, four guys and one girl. Suddenly
the engine stalls and they crash. Miraculously all five
of them survive the crash but are stranded on a small deserted
island. Since these four guys will need to have their natural
urges satisfied, they decided to make up a schedule. Each
guy would get a week to dick the woman as much as possible,
the next week another guy and so on. ...
1 Comments, 89 Views,
6 Votes
,1.94 Score
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teacher 7/22/2007
The first grade teacher was starting a new lesson on multi-syllable
words. She thought it would be a good idea to ask a few of the
examples of words with more than one syllable.
"Jane, Do you know any multi-syllable words?"
After some thought Jane proudly replied with Monday. "Great
Jane. That has two syllables, Mon......day. Does anyone
know another word?" Johnny from the back of the room ...
1 Comments, 70 Views,
7 Votes
,3.55 Score
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Ghost Sex 7/21/2007
A professor at the University of Alabama was giving a lecture
of the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks, "How
many people here believe in ghosts?"
About 90 students raise their hands "Well, that's
a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have
seen a ghost?"
About 40 students raise their hands. "That's
really good. I'm ...
7 Comments, 204 Views,
11 Votes
,4.85 Score
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The ages of a woman. 7/21/2007
1. Between the ages of 16 and 18,
she is like Africa, virgin and unexplored.
2. Between the ages of 19 and 35, she is like Asia, hot and
exotic.
3. Between the ages of 36 and 45, she is like America, fully
explored, breathtakingly beautiful, and free with her
resources.
4. Between the ages of 46 and 56, she is like Europe, exhausted
but still has ...
1 Comments, 92 Views,
11 Votes
,4.48 Score
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Make me feel like a WOMAN!!! 7/21/2007
On a transatlantic flight, a plane
passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful,
and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by
lightning. One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands
up in front of the plane. "I'm too young to die!"
she wails. "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my
last minutes on Earth to be memorable! I've had plenty
of ...
1 Comments, 95 Views,
14 Votes
,4.74 Score
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