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Mr. Frog 8/4/2014
There was a man who had a 30 inch penis. He could not get any
woman to have sex with him not even after he tried to get into
the porn business. So the man said enough is enough and decided
to go see a doctor.
He explained to the doctor his problem, who then laughed
at the man believing he was over stating his issue. But once
the doctor began to examine him he found out the man's
story to ...
0 Comments, 130 Views,
11 Votes
,2.98 Score
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Another NON-Dirty joke by ME 8/4/2014
I was still in my hospital gown and ran into the room where
my mom waited saying to her, "quick, we have to leave" .. She said, "what's
wrong .. are you afraid of the surgery?" I said, "The nurse said it's Okay, it's very
routine and to stop worrying" .. My mom shrugged and
said, "Yeah, she was just reassuring you" ...
I said, "No, she was talking to the Doctor!"
1 Comments, 63 Views,
4 Votes
,4.02 Score
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A NON dirty Health related joke.. 8/4/2014
I was still in my hospital gown and ran into the room where
my mom waited saying to her, "quick, we have to leave" .. She said, "what's
wrong .. are you afraid of the surgery?" I said, "The nurse said it's Okay, it's very
routine and to stop worrying" .. My mom shrugged and
said, "Yeah, she was just reassuring you" ...
I said, "No, she was talking to the Doctor!"
0 Comments, 26 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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The World's Greatest Golfer 8/3/2014
A man was playing golf in Ireland. As luck would have it he
sees a Leprechaun. The Leprechaun tells the man that according
to Leprechaun law he can have any wish he wants.
The man thinks for a minute. “I want to be the greatest
golfer in the world.”
The Leprechaun says, “I can do that but it’s going to
affect your sex life.”
The man says that’s okay and ...
0 Comments, 115 Views,
6 Votes
,3.65 Score
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2 guys 8/1/2014
One day these two best friends Jay and Bob were walking down
the forest when suddenly a giant snake jumped on Jay’s
leg and bit his dick, since no one was around for miles Bob
called a hospital and told the doctor’’Quick Quick
I need your help my friend got bit by a snake on his penis’’
the doctor told him ’’ your gonna have to suck the
venom out yourself’’ Bob asked’’ ...
1 Comments, 108 Views,
9 Votes
,4.28 Score
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angry wife 8/1/2014
An angry wife was complaining about her husband spending
all his free time in a bar, so one night he took her along with
him. "What'll you have?" he asked. "Oh,
I don't know. The same as you I suppose, " she
replied. So, the husband ordered a couple of Jack Daniel's
and threw his down in one shot. His wife watched him, then
took a sip from her glass and immediately spat it out. "Yuck,
that's ...
2 Comments, 183 Views,
11 Votes
,4.85 Score
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10 inch 8/1/2014
Two Men were out fishing when one decides to have a smoke
He asks the other guy if he has a lighter He replies "Yes
I do!" and hands the other a 10 inch long BIC lighter
Surprised the guy asks "Where did you get this?"
The guy replies "Oh I have a personal genie."
The first man asks "Can I make a wish? " Sure says
the other man "Just make sure that you speak clearly
cause he is a little hard at ...
1 Comments, 119 Views,
9 Votes
,4.28 Score
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sex before marriage 8/1/2014
John: I didn't sleep with my wife before we were married.
Did you?
Bob: I'm not sure. What was your wife's maiden
name?
1 Comments, 73 Views,
12 Votes
,4.57 Score
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bottom line 8/1/2014
A cowboy rides his up to a saloon. All the patrons gawked as the cowboy kissed his on
the butt before coming in and asking for a drink. The bartender serves him and asks, "Mind if I ask why'd
ya kiss your on the butt?" The cowboy says, "It's 'cause I got chapped
lips." The bartender asks, "Does manure help them heal?"
Cowboy replies, "No, but it keeps me from licking
them."
0 Comments, 63 Views,
5 Votes
,3.47 Score
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the confession 8/1/2014
A drunken man staggered into a Catholic church, sat down
in the Confessional and said nothing. The priest is waiting and waiting and waiting. The priest coughs to attract the drunk man's attention,
but still the man says nothing. The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a final
attempt to get the man to speak. Finally the drunk replies, ''No use knockin, '
pal. There's no paper."
0 Comments, 51 Views,
4 Votes
,2.08 Score
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The Man Who Gave Up Sex For Golf 8/1/2014
A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead
by a couple of strokes.
"Boy, I'd give anything to sink this putt, "
the golfer mumbles to himself.
Just then, a stranger walks up beside him and whispers,
"Would you be willing to give up one-fourth of your
sex life?"
Thinking the man is crazy and his answer will be meaningless,
the golfer also feels that ...
3 Comments, 120 Views,
7 Votes
,4.82 Score
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Teach your well 8/1/2014
A teacher asks the in her class of eight year olds: "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Little Charlie says: "I wanna start out as an architect, then go into Real
Estate be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs,
find me the finest , give her a Lamborghini worth over
a million bucks, an apartment in Manhattan, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel
throughout the world, an Infinite ...
0 Comments, 113 Views,
8 Votes
,5.56 Score
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Free Sex 7/30/2014
A gas station owner in Tennessee was trying to increase
his sales, so he put up a sign that read "Free Sex with
Fill-Up". Soon a local redneck pulled in, filled
his tank and asked for his free sex. The owner told him to
pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly he would
get his free sex. The redneck guessed 8, and the proprietor
said, "You were close. The number was 7.... sorry,
no free ...
1 Comments, 165 Views,
5 Votes
,5.43 Score
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Sperm Count 7/30/2014
An 85-year-old man was requested by his Doctor for a sperm
count as part of his physical exam.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take this jar
home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.'
The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's
office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty
as on the previous day.
The doctor asked what happened and ...
0 Comments, 115 Views,
7 Votes
,4.57 Score
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A Polish Divorce 7/28/2014
A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.
Although his English was far from perfect, they got along
very well. One day he rushed into a lawyer's office
and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him. The lawyer
said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances,
and asked him the following questions:
Have you any grounds? Yes, an acre and half and ...
1 Comments, 129 Views,
6 Votes
,5.64 Score
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A different shade of grey 7/28/2014
He was in blissful ecstacy with a huge smile on his face as he enjoyed the moment. His wife moved forwards, then backwards, forwards, then backwards again...and again...and again, back and forth...back and forth...in and out...in and out....in and out.....in and out, every so slowly and gently trying to draw in and use every inch.
Her heart was pounding....pounding so that she felt it ...
0 Comments, 56 Views,
5 Votes
,2.49 Score
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Guessing his age 7/27/2014
Three mischievous old Grannies were sitting on a bench
outside a nursing home when an old Grandpa walked by. And
one of the old Grandmas yelled out saying, "We bet
we can tell exactly how old you are."
The old man said, "There is no way you can guess it,
you old fools."
One of the old Grandmas said, "Sure we can! Just drop
your pants and under shorts and we can tell your exact ...
1 Comments, 120 Views,
4 Votes
,5.57 Score
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The Rude Receptionist 7/27/2014
An older gentleman had an appointment to see the urologist
who shared offices with several other doctors. The waiting
room was filled with patients. As he approached the receptionist's
desk, he noticed that the receptionist was a large unfriendly
woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler. He gave her his name.In
a very loud voice, the receptionist said, "YES, I
HAVE YOUR NAME HERE; YOU WANT TO ...
0 Comments, 169 Views,
9 Votes
,5.56 Score
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Another Blonde Joke 7/26/2014
Two blondes was talking in a bar. One asked: y'know every time my husband comes home
and brings me flowers, I have to raise my legs up. The other
blonde replied: don't you have a flower vase?
0 Comments, 62 Views,
7 Votes
,3.30 Score
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Doggy Style 7/26/2014
Father and his 5 yr old was walking in the park and saw
two dogs mating. The asked: dad what are the dogs doing? They are making
a puppy?
Later that night the woke up by the thunder and lightning.
He went to his parents room and saw his dad on top of mom.
asked: Dad what are you guys doing? We are making a baby.
replied panicky: Oh no dad flip mommy over, I want a puppy! ...
0 Comments, 124 Views,
4 Votes
,1.69 Score
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4 nuns and St. Peter 7/26/2014
Four nuns died in a bus accident and went to heaven. The nuns were standing in line to enter the white pearly
gates of heaven.
St Peter turned to the1st nun standing in line and asked:
sister, have you sin? Well I have seen a penis once. That is ok, wash your eyes with
holy water and enter the gates of heaven.
St Peter turned to the 2nd nun standing in line and asked:
sister, ...
2 Comments, 158 Views,
6 Votes
,3.37 Score
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It pays to be careful around old people 7/25/2014
A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down
a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old
lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully
munches up.
After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again
and she hands him another handful of peanuts.
She repeats this gesture about five more times...
When she is about to ...
0 Comments, 147 Views,
5 Votes
,4.77 Score
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A few short ones 7/25/2014
Getting girls to have sex with me is like getting ketchup
out of a bottle. It's easy when I have a knife.
What do you call 50 Puerto Ricans in a room with 50 lesbians?
A hundred people who won't do dick!
Why don't the blondes in San Francisco wear miniskirts?
Their balls show.
How many divorced Men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Who knows; they never get the ...
1 Comments, 67 Views,
5 Votes
,4.12 Score
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Grandpa 7/25/2014
Three guys were sitting in a biker bar.
A man came in, already drunk, sat down at the bar and ordered
a drink.
The man looked around and saw the 3 men sitting at a corner
table. He got up, staggered to the table, leaned over, looked
the biggest one in the face and said,
"I went by your grandma's house and I saw her in
the hallway, buck naked. Man, she is fine!" ...
1 Comments, 104 Views,
4 Votes
,3.25 Score
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Whats the difference?????? 7/25/2014
What's the difference between.....your job and your
wife? Your job fucking sucks.
What's the difference between.....a walrus and a
lesbian? One smells like fish and has a mustache, and the other is
a walrus.
0 Comments, 49 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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Good news Bad news 7/25/2014
"I have good news and bad news, " the defense
lawyer says to his .
"What's the bad news?"
The lawyer says, "Your blood matches the DNA found
at the murder scene."
"Dammit!" cries the . "What's
the good news?"
"Well, " the lawyer says, "Your cholesterol
is down to 140."
0 Comments, 34 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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Politics 7/24/2014
This joke is probably known by many But just for sharing 
“A small boy asks his Dad, "Daddy, what is politics?"
Dad says, "Well , let me try to explain it this way:
I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call
me Capitalism. Your mom, she's the administrator
of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're
here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the
People. The ...
1 Comments, 57 Views,
4 Votes
,4.41 Score
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7 + 3 = ? 7/24/2014
“I was sitting on my own in a restaurant, when I saw a beautiful
woman at another table. I sent her a bottle of the most expensive
wine on the menu. She sent me a note: "I will not touch
a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have
seven inches in your pants." So I wrote back: "Give
me the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I'm not cutting
off three inches for anyone.”
1 Comments, 40 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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Error 7/24/2014
A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for
their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis, "
and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the
screen it says, "Error. Not long enough." LOL
1 Comments, 26 Views,
0 Votes
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Remover 7/24/2014
One day, a man wakes up with a red ring around his penis. He
can’t figure out what it is, so he goes to the doctor.
The doctor hands him a tube of cream. "Here. Put this
on and the ring’ll be gone within the hour, " the
doctor said.
The man drove home, put it on, and sure enough, the ring was
gone within the hour.
But then the next day, he woke up and the ring was ...
0 Comments, 79 Views,
4 Votes
,3.63 Score
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