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Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	ON A PLANE   12/14/2013 A man had just boarded and settled into his seat next to the window on the plane when another man sat down in the aisle seat and put his Black Labrador in the middle seat next to the man. The first man looked very quizzically at the and asked why the was allowed on the plane. The second man explained that he was from the Police Drugs Enforcement Agency and that the was a ... 0 Comments, 178 Views, 7 Votes ,3.30 Score
Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	SWINGERS PARTY   12/13/2013 I got into an embarrassing situation at a swingers party last night. I was fucking a right beautiful girl from behind when I looked up and realized that the guy at the other end of the spitroast, getting a blow job, was my dad. I said "After 30 years of marriage I can't believe you are being unfaithful to mom." He said "I'm not." ... 0 Comments, 186 Views, 5 Votes ,3.80 Score
Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	KEYHOLE TALK   12/13/2013 One evening John and his friend Tom were sitting in the bar getting drunk. Tom turns to John and asks, do you remember those girls that we were talking to earlier? do you suppose those girls would make out with us?" John says, "Dunno, but I'm drunk enough. Let's go and ask them!" So off they go to the apartment where the girls lived. John stumbles up the steps and ... 0 Comments, 164 Views, 4 Votes ,4.41 Score
Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	SMART WIFE   12/13/2013 A woman was in bed with her husband's best friend, and things were heating up. All of a sudden, they heard a noise downstairs. "Oh my God, your husband is home. What am I going to do? The woman says "Aw, just stay in bed with me. He's probably so drunk, he ain't gonna notice you here with me." The fear of getting caught trying to escape was more powerful than the ... 0 Comments, 193 Views, 5 Votes ,4.77 Score
Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	VIRGINITY TEST   12/13/2013 Little Johnny grew up and was getting married. He asked his friend. How would I know if my wife is a virgin? He was told to get himself an Irish Virginity test kit. Little Johnny asked what that was. His friend told him to "Get a Can of Red Paint, a can of Blue Paint and a Shovel." Little Johnny: how on earth does that work? His friend answered: ... 0 Comments, 202 Views, 6 Votes ,4.79 Score
Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	WHAT A COINCIDENCE!!!!!!   12/13/2013 A farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne. The woman perked up and said, 'How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!' 'What a coincidence' the farmer said. 'This is a special day for me. I am celebrating.' 'This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating, ' said the woman.' 'What a coincidence!' ... 0 Comments, 178 Views, 6 Votes ,5.93 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M 2172  Articles	LETTERS TOO SANTA   12/13/2013 Dear Santa, How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the reindeer to the elves, is fine. I have been a very good boy this year. I would like an X-Box 360 with Call of Duty IV and an iPhone 4 for Christmas. I hope you remember that come Christmas Day. Merry Christmas, Timmy Jones * * Dear Timmy, ... 0 Comments, 155 Views, 5 Votes ,3.47 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M 2172  Articles	waiting for his mother   12/13/2013 A little boy was waiting for his mother to come out of the grocery store. As he waited, he was approached by a man who asked, ", can you tell me where the Post Office is?" The little boy replied, "Sure! Just go straight down this street a coupla blocks and turn to your right." The man thanked the boy kindly and said, "I'm the new pastor in town. I'd like for you to come to ... 1 Comments, 166 Views, 5 Votes ,3.47 Score
Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	ANOTHER PICKUP LINE ONLY BETTER   12/12/2013 Women in a bar says to the guy, gee you smell great what do you have on? He says, A Hard On but I didn't realize you could smell it...... 0 Comments, 92 Views, 4 Votes ,4.80 Score
Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	PICABOO STREET?????   12/6/2013 Do you remember the famous Olympic skier Picabo Street? (pronounced Pee-Ka-Boo) Well, Picabo is not just an athlete. She is now a nurse currently working at an Intensive Care Unit of a large metropolitan hospital. She is not permitted to answer the hospital telephones any longer. It caused too much confusion when she would answer the phone and say, Picabo, I.C.U.... 0 Comments, 70 Views, 7 Votes ,2.79 Score
Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	3 KICK RULE   12/6/2013 A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural Tennessee. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to ... 0 Comments, 183 Views, 4 Votes ,5.57 Score
Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	RESPECT   12/6/2013 'Nelson Mandela dies at 95' - Respect where it's due... - That's 5 miles an hour faster than Paul Walker! TOO EARLY????? LOL 0 Comments, 51 Views, 5 Votes ,3.14 Score
Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	JUDAISM TO CATHOLICISM   12/4/2013 So Abe and Yossi, two nice Jewish guys are walking down the avenue. They pass a church and see a big sign reading "- RECEIVE $20 for Converting" "Hey Abe, I'm going to do it" "What, are you crazy Yossi?" "No really, check it out Abe..." And with that Yossi walks into the church. So Abe's waiting for him for about 20 minutes when Yossi finally comes out, ... 0 Comments, 148 Views, 9 Votes ,4.71 Score
Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	ALICE KAPIPLIN   12/4/2013 Three nuns die in a plane crash and meet St Peter at the pearly gates. Peter say "Ladies you have led such exemplary lives that we've decided to let you go back and live any other life you might have wanted and you'll still be welcome afterwards." The first nun say "Oh St Peter, I've always wanted to be Mother Teresa" Peter says " That's very noble of you" and poof she's gone to ... 0 Comments, 148 Views, 6 Votes ,2.51 Score
Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	THE DOCTOR & THE HONEYBEE   12/4/2013 One day a young man and woman were in their bedroom making love. All of a sudden a bumble bee entered the bedroom window. As the young lady parted her legs the bee entered her vagina. The woman started screaming, "Oh my god, help me, there's a bee in my vagina!". The husband immediately took her to the local doctor and explained the situation. The doctor thought ... 0 Comments, 152 Views, 7 Votes ,4.57 Score
Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	PAUL WALKER'S LAST ROLE   12/4/2013 Saturday, Paul Walker completed the last installment in the Fast and Furious series. He was a co-star in the production of Too Fast, Too Flammable. Seems Paul Walker went from Fast and Furious to Gone In 60 Seconds. To Soon? LOL....... 2 Comments, 48 Views, 7 Votes ,0.24 Score
Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	THREE MEN   12/4/2013 Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. "In honor of this holy season, " Saint Peter said, "you must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven." The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. It represents a candle, he said. You may pass ... 0 Comments, 138 Views, 5 Votes ,3.14 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M 2172  Articles	CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD   12/4/2013 To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last. Date: 2011-11-27, 1:43 am. E.S.T. I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important ... 1 Comments, 196 Views, 9 Votes ,5.99 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M 2172  Articles	Reduced gun crime   12/4/2013 * In 1863 a Democrat shot and killed Abraham Lincoln, President of the United States. * In 1964 a communist-turned Democrat killed John F. Kennedy * In 1983 a registered Democrat shot and wounded Ronald Reagan. * In 2007 a registered Democrat named Seung-Hui Cho shot and killed 32 people in Virginia Tech. * In 2010 a mentally ill registered Democrat named Jared Lee Loughner shot Rep. Gabrielle ... 1 Comments, 133 Views, 14 Votes ,5.22 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M 2172  Articles	PEPPERMINT   12/4/2013 I recently spent $6, 500 on a young registered Black Angus bull. I put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow. I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth. Anyhow, I had the Vet come and have a look at him. He said the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young, so he gave me some pills to feed him once per day. ... 0 Comments, 121 Views, 5 Votes ,2.82 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M 2172  Articles	The urologist is a very pretty female doctor   12/3/2013 An old guy goes to his doctor for his physical and gets sent to the Urologist as a precaution. When he gets there, he discovers the Urologist is a very pretty female doctor. The female doctor says, "I'm going to check your prostate today, but this new procedure is a little different from what you are probably used to. I want you to lie on your right side, bend your knees, then while I ... 0 Comments, 192 Views, 9 Votes ,3.64 Score
Badtrev 43 M 9  Articles	Panda bear   12/2/2013 A panda bear, lonely due to it's reduced numbers, wanders out of the forest and makes his way into the city t find some company. He walks into a shop where he asks the storekeeper "I'm new here and am lonely. Where do lonely people go for company?" The storekeeper says, well if you want to meet people, then you can go to a coffee shop or a bar or a club, but if you're really really lonely, then ... 0 Comments, 109 Views, 3 Votes ,2.45 Score
Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	BILLY BOB   12/2/2013 Billy Bob and Lester were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Lester, "Ya know, I reckon I'm about ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your suggestions as to where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Marie got pregnant. Then two ... 0 Comments, 129 Views, 7 Votes ,4.57 Score
Ask me for a photo Vegan66 58 M 1  Article	Cream Puff   12/1/2013 What do you call a woman that dose three men at the same time? A Cream Puff ... 2 Comments, 49 Views, 8 Votes
Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	THE PARACHUTIST   11/30/2013 A young man joined the army and signed up with the paratroopers. He went Through the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher And higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from an Airplane. The next day, he called home to tell his father the news. "So, did you jump?" asked the father. "Well, let me tell you what happened, " the said. ... 1 Comments, 138 Views, 10 Votes ,4.78 Score
Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	CONFUCIUS SAY   11/30/2013 1. Passionate kiss like spider's web. Soon lead to undoing of fly. 2: Virginity like bubble. One prick, all gone. 3. Man who walk thru airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok. 4. Man who eat many prunes get good run for money. 5. Man who stand on toilet is high on pot. 6. Gay Indian is also a brave sucker.... 2 Comments, 80 Views, 3 Votes ,3.43 Score
Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	CASUALTIES OF WAR   11/30/2013 Bob walks into a tavern back in 2003 and is surprised to find George Bush and Dick Cheney at the bar discussing plans to invade Iraq. He asks them what is going on. Bush says "We're gonna bomb the piss out of Iraq! I figure we'll kill maybe half a million Iraqis and a blond with big tits." Bob asks "so why are you gonna kill a blond with big tits?" ... 0 Comments, 106 Views, 6 Votes ,5.07 Score
Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	MAN ON A BUS   11/30/2013 A man was travelling on a crowded bus. A young lady was standing in front of him. After a while the man said, "Wow, what a big butt!" Then the girl turned back and slapped him in the face. While she was turned back however, the man said again, "Wow, what small boobs!" The girl turned back again and slapped him one more time. After a while the ... 1 Comments, 151 Views, 7 Votes ,3.80 Score
Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	TWO PRESIDENTS   11/30/2013 President Obama walks in to a barber shop to get his hair cut, Soon after George Bush walks in to get his hair cut. The barbers set to work cutting their hair not talking because they didn't want to start a political debate. When the barber finished with President Obama's hair he asked "would you like some cologne?" Obama said "no thank you Michelle will ... 0 Comments, 110 Views, 8 Votes ,5.56 Score
Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	NO MORE HEADACHES   11/30/2013 Woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone." "No more headaches?" The husband asks, "What happened?" His wife replies, "Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat 'I do not have a headache; I do not have a headache, I do not have ... 0 Comments, 109 Views, 3 Votes ,5.39 Score