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Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	PAINLESS LABOR   11/22/2013 A lady and her husband, who went to the hospital to give birth to their , heard of a new technology from the doctor, which would transfer the labor pain from the mother to the father. The couple were both excited and very much in favor of it. The doctor however said that, to start with, he would transfer only 10% of the pain, as even that small amount of pain would be too much for ... 0 Comments, 84 Views, 6 Votes ,4.79 Score
Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	THREE ADDICTS   11/22/2013 There was three guys a sex addict a weed addict and a alcoholic they all went to hell for their sins and was standing in front of the devil. The devil made a deal with them saying I will lock you in a room with what ever you did for a 1000 years and if you get over any of your sins I will send you back to the land of the living, Earth. So the sex addict got locked ... 0 Comments, 101 Views, 4 Votes ,5.57 Score
Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	ACCIDENT   11/22/2013 Saturday night I gradually woke up stiff as a plank in the hospital's ICU, tubes up my nose & down my throat, wires monitoring every function & all around my head, hell of a pain over my left ear, and a gorgeous nurse hovering over me. It was obvious I'd been in a serious accident. She looked deep & steady and I heard her slowly say, 'You may not ... 0 Comments, 110 Views, 6 Votes ,4.50 Score
paulg69 46 M 1  Article	here's a one for ya!   11/21/2013 How many Sisters Of The Immacculate Conception, does it take to change a light bulb? . . . . . Nun!!! 0 Comments, 54 Views, 2 Votes ,1.73 Score
Ask me for a photo YipityScrew101 65 M 7  Articles	Tennessee hillbillies   11/21/2013 Why are even the best forensic teams unable to catch Tennesse Hillbillies committing serious crime? Could it be their back-woods cunning? No. Is it because they are all law-abiding? I seriously doubt that. The reason they are never caught is that Hillbillies all share the same DNA, and they have no dental records! 0 Comments, 50 Views, 7 Votes ,1.51 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M 2172  Articles	lady goes to the bar   11/21/2013 A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship And orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says 'I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today.' The bartender says 'Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me.' As the woman finishes her drink The woman to her right says 'I would like to buy you a drink, ... 0 Comments, 134 Views, 11 Votes ,4.10 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M 2172  Articles	The Robot   11/21/2013 A father buys a lie detecting robot that slaps people when they lie. He decides to test it out at dinner one night. The father asks his what he did that afternoon. The says, "I did some schoolwork." The robot slaps the . The says, "Ok, Ok. I was at a friend's house watching movies." Dad asks, What movie did you watch?" says, "Toy Story." ... 0 Comments, 88 Views, 6 Votes ,2.80 Score
Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	RUSSIAN GENIE   11/19/2013 A Russian is strolling down the street in Moscow and kicks a bottle laying in the street. Suddenly out of the bottle comes a genie. The Russian is stunned and the Genie says, "Hello Master, I will grant you one wish, anything that you want." The Russian begins thinking, "Well I really like drinking vodka." Finally the Russian says, "I wish to drink vodka whenever I ... 0 Comments, 113 Views, 9 Votes ,4.71 Score
Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	DRACULA   11/19/2013 Dracula goes to Rome and checks into the Grand Italia Hotel. The bellhop, after bringing in his coffin, asks if there is anything he can do for him. Dracula says, "Yes, there is, " and lunges for the boy's throat. After draining the blood from him, Dracula throws the bellhop's lifeless body out his bedroom window. The body lands on a policeman stationed in front of the hotel. The impact ... 1 Comments, 89 Views, 5 Votes ,2.49 Score
Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	SUPERMAN   11/19/2013 Superman is on his way to a large reunion of superheroes being held in Miami Beach. He arrives two hours late; his clothes are a mess and he has definitely been in a fight. As he approaches his table, his good friend Batman yells, "Hey, Man of Steel, what happened to you?" "Well, this is gonna sound crazy, but I was zipping along the coastline, making great time, ... 0 Comments, 97 Views, 3 Votes ,5.39 Score
Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	TATTOO'S   11/19/2013 A woman walks into a tattoo parlor. "Do you do custom work?" she asks the artist. "Why of course!" "Good. I'd like a portrait of Robert Redford on the inside of my right thigh, and a portrait of Paul Newman on the inside of my left thigh. And I want them both looking at my pussy." "No problem, " says the artist. "Strip from the ... 0 Comments, 114 Views, 4 Votes ,5.19 Score
Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	BJ & SINGING   11/19/2013 A beautiful woman approaches a man at a bar and offers him a proposition "For $200 I bet I can suck your dick and sing the national anthem at the same time. " The man figures he can get some head and actually get paid for it, so he obliges. The woman takes him into the closet, starts sucking, and sure enough starts singing the national anthem at the ... 0 Comments, 107 Views, 3 Votes ,1.47 Score
Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	ONE LINERS   11/19/2013 Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand? So she can moan with the other. Why did Raggedy Ann get kicked out of the toy box? She sat on Pinocchio' s face and said "lie to me!" What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury dough boy? A red headed bitch with a yeast infection. What do you call a redneck ... 0 Comments, 85 Views, 3 Votes ,3.43 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M 2172  Articles	SITTING ON THE TOILET   11/18/2013 A LITTLE THREE YEAR OLD BOY IS SITTING ON THE TOILET. HIS MOTHER THINKS HE HAS BEEN IN THERE TOO LONG, SO SHE GOES IN TO SEE WHAT'S UP. THE LITTLE BOY IS SITTING ON THE TOILET READING A BOOK. BUT ABOUT EVERY 15 SECONDS OR SO, HE PUTS THE BOOK DOWN, GRIPS ONTO THE TOILET SEAT WITH HIS LEFT HAND AND HITS HIMSELF ON TOP OF HIS HEAD WITH HIS RIGHT HAND. HIS MOTHER SAYS: "JOSHUA, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? ... 0 Comments, 123 Views, 2 Votes ,3.12 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M 2172  Articles	You gotta love a good nurse   11/18/2013 A policeman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well; however, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs in his crotch. Worried that it might be a second surgery and the doctors hadn't told him about it, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown up enough so he could look at what was making him so ... 0 Comments, 106 Views, 4 Votes ,5.57 Score
Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	LATE NIGHT CALL TO THE VET   11/17/2013 A lover, whose was a female and "in heat', agreed to look after her neighbor's male while the neighbors were on vacation. She had a large house and believed that she could keep the two dogs apart. However, as she was drifting off to sleep she heard awful howling and moaning sounds, rushed downstairs and found the dogs locked together, in obvious pain and unable to ... 0 Comments, 123 Views, 7 Votes ,5.33 Score
Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	THE SCOTSMAN   11/17/2013 A salesman drove into a small town where a circus was in progress. A sign read: 'Don't Miss Bruce The Amazing Scotsman'. The salesman bought a ticket and sat down. There, on center stage, was a table with three walnuts on it. Standing next to it was an old Scotsman. Suddenly the old man lifted his kilt, whipped out a huge willy and smashed all three walnuts with three ... 0 Comments, 81 Views, 5 Votes ,3.14 Score
Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	A FEW QUICK ONES   11/17/2013 Top tip; if you're camping in the summer and the attractive girl in the next tent tells you that because it's so hot she will be sleeping with her flaps open, it's not necessarily an invitation to casual sex. Wish me luck; I appear in court next Monday. I got fired on my first day as a male masseuse today. Apparently the instruction 'finish off on her face' didn't mean what ... 0 Comments, 74 Views, 2 Votes ,3.81 Score
Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	IN A BAR   11/17/2013 A guy walks into a bar with his and says, "I'll have a Scotch and water and my would like a whiskey sour." The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't allow animals in here." The replies, "Hey, I'm tired of being discriminated against. Just give me a drink." The bartender says, "Oh, no, not another ventriloquist with the old talking trick. Both ... 0 Comments, 103 Views, 2 Votes ,3.81 Score
Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	MARRIAGE AT A YOUNG AGE   11/17/2013 Little Ralphy and Claudia are only 10 years old, but they know they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, so Ralphy goes to Claudia's father to ask him for her hand. Ralphy bravely walks up to him and says, "Mr. Smith, me and Claudia are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage." Thinking that this was just ... 0 Comments, 81 Views, 4 Votes ,4.02 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M 2172  Articles	Senior Love.......   11/17/2013 I was in my back yard trying to launch a kite. I threw the kite up in the air, the wind would catch it for a few seconds, then it would come crashing back down to earth. I tried this a few more times with no success. All the while, my wife Karen is watching from the kitchen window, muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything. She opens the window and ... 0 Comments, 93 Views, 7 Votes ,3.80 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M 2172  Articles	husbands' marriage seminars   11/17/2013 At St. Peter's Catholic Church in Baltimore , they have weekly husbands' marriage seminars. At the session last week, the priest asked Giuseppe, who said he was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the same woman all these years. Giuseppe replied to the assembled husbands, 'Wella, I'va ... 0 Comments, 88 Views, 5 Votes ,2.49 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M 2172  Articles	Norman   11/17/2013 Norman, an old retired sailor, puts on his old uniform and heads for the docks once more, for old times’ sake and some hot sex. He engages a lovely and takes her up to a room. He's soon going at it as well as he can for a guy his age, but needing some reassurance, he asks, 'How am I doing?' The replies, 'Well Norman, ya old sailor, you're doing about three ... 0 Comments, 87 Views, 4 Votes ,3.25 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M 2172  Articles	One more time   11/17/2013 A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I'd like to buy some cyanide." The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband." The pharmacist's eyes got big and he explained, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to ... 0 Comments, 82 Views, 5 Votes ,2.49 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M 2172  Articles	Blonde Men   11/17/2013 It had to happen sooner or later.......................Blonde Men! A friend told the blond man: "Christmas is on a Friday this year." The blond man then said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th." ----------------------------------- Two blond men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station. One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?" The other says: "We'll ... 0 Comments, 72 Views, 3 Votes ,1.47 Score
rm_tazmantenn 74 M 2172  Articles	Power outage   11/17/2013 Power outage We had a power outage last night and my PC, iPod, iPhone, TV and games console shut down immediately, so I had to talk to my wife for a few hours. She seems like a nice person. 0 Comments, 55 Views, 3 Votes ,4.90 Score
Ask me for a photo YipityScrew101 65 M 7  Articles	Tennessee Hillbilly sex quiz   11/16/2013 This is the official Tennessee Hillbilly sex quiz. Study each question carefully. Then, choose the answer that seems most correct (True or False) and circle the T or F as appropriate. 1. A clitoris is a type of flower. T F 2. Pubic hair is a wild rabbit. T F 3. "Spread Eagle" is an extinct bird. T F 4. Vagina is a ... 0 Comments, 80 Views, 1 Votes ,5.00 Score
Ask me for a photo Mia7134 52 F 3  Articles	Delicacy   11/16/2013 An American touring Spain stopped at a local restaurant following a day of sightseeing. While sipping his sangria, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, "What is that you just served?" The waiter replied, " Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are bulls testicles ... 2 Comments, 91 Views, 3 Votes ,2.45 Score
Badtrev 43 M 9  Articles	Mountain men   11/15/2013 There was a man who had spent all of his life in the big city living on the safer side of things; straight A's in school, went immediately to college, then into an office job in a tiny cubicle for fifty hours a week at low pay. He didn't go to bars, didn't date, didn't have time to exercise, or enjoy the good things in life. He reached his forties as a man who was balding, out of shape, and ... 0 Comments, 116 Views, 2 Votes ,2.42 Score
Bump144 72 M 823  Articles	HEAR THIS   11/12/2013 An Indian scouting party captures a cowboy from a bar and brings him back to their camp to meet the chief. The chief says to the cowboy, "You going die. But we sorry for you, so give you one wish a day for three days. At sundown third day, you die. What first wish?" The cowboy says, "I want to see my ." The indians get his . The cowboy grabs the 's ear and ... 1 Comments, 136 Views, 4 Votes ,4.41 Score