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The dog ! 6/17/2021
A man walks into a bar with his and orders two glasses
of whiskey. He proposes a toast and both he and his empty
their glasses. The girl behind the bar is surprised and
asks, "Can your perform other tricks?"
"But of course, " the man answers, "he
can even gratify a woman."
Anxious to know more the girl leads the man and the into
a little room above the bar. She undresses and ...
12 Comments, 285 Views,
39 Votes
,7.14 Score
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Lawyer Cross-Examines a Cop 6/23/2021
A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer
during a felony trial. It went like this:
Q. Officer, did you see my fleeing the scene?
A. No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching
the description of the offender running several blocks
away.
Q. Officer, who provided this description?
A. The officer who responded to the scene.
Q. ...
7 Comments, 183 Views,
28 Votes
,4.78 Score
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a called sex 6/23/2021
Everybody I know who has a usually calls him "Rover"
or "Spot".
I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me.
When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license,
I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex.
He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then
I said, "But she is a dog!"
He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said,
"You don't ...
6 Comments, 322 Views,
17 Votes
,2.56 Score
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little boy 6/29/2021
“A little boy and his friends are being called bastards
and bitches by bullies at school. The boy goes home and asks,
"Dad, what are bastards and bitches?" And his
dad replies, "Bitches are ladies and bastards are
gentlemen." Then the boy goes upstairs to see his
mom. As he enters the room, he accidentally drops a perfume
bottle, and his mom says, "Shit!" "Mom,
what is shit?" and she says, ...
4 Comments, 134 Views,
13 Votes
,5.32 Score
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Smart Ass ! 6/25/2021
There was this guy who was in love with his wife but his job
took up a lot of his time. One Sunday afternoon, his wife
came home and said the boys were out playing, and maybe they
should do some playing of their own. The man thought about this and decided she was right. He embraced her and they began to kiss passionately. She
felt him getting hard and said he'd best be getting
that condom on and ...
3 Comments, 125 Views,
7 Votes
,4.06 Score
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When 6/24/2021
Judge asked , "So when did you realize
you were ?"
replied, wiping her tears, "When the
check bounced."
3 Comments, 132 Views,
6 Votes
,2.80 Score
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Three cheesy jokes that we all know and love.... 6/25/2021
1) If you have sex with a person without their consent, it
is called ....so if you have sex with a without
her consent, is it called , or shoplifting?
2) What kind of pleasure does a Priest get? ANSWER: Nun
3) If you have sex with someone and get a disease, you are
said to have an STD.....so if you jerk off to massive amounts
of porn on your computer and your ...
2 Comments, 77 Views,
3 Votes
,1.47 Score
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code 6/24/2021
A husband and wife decided they needed to use "code"
to indicate that they wanted to have sex without letting
their in on it. They decided on the word Typewriter.
<br>
One day the husband told his five year old , "Go
tell your mommy that daddy needs to type a letter".
<br>
The told her mother what her dad said, and her mom responded,
"Tell your daddy that he ...
2 Comments, 226 Views,
13 Votes
,3.14 Score
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Cute 6/23/2021
A NAMED SEX
Everybody I know who has a usually calls him "Rover"
or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been
very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew
the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like
a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one
too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!" He
said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You
don't ...
2 Comments, 129 Views,
6 Votes
,4.50 Score
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AND YOU EXPECTED WHAT? 6/22/2021
When the store manager returned from lunch, he noticed his clerk's hand was bandaged, but before
he could ask about the bandage, the clerk had some very good news for him.
"Guess what, sir?" the clerk said. "I
finally sold that terrible, ugly suit we've had so long!"
"Do you mean that repulsive pink-and-blue double-breasted thing?!" the manager asked.
"That's the one!" ...
2 Comments, 137 Views,
4 Votes
,2.47 Score
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A Must Read! 6/22/2021
To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator
door - nose height.
Dear Dogs and Cats, The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your
food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note,
placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim
for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically
pleasing in the ...
2 Comments, 121 Views,
7 Votes
,5.59 Score
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spelling b!! 6/19/2021
A guy was driving down the highway with his smokin'
hot blonde girlfriend and she said to him, 'I think those people in the car next to us are from another
country. 'Why is that?' he said. 'Well, the are writing on the window and it says,
...'stit ruoy su wohs 
2 Comments, 71 Views,
5 Votes
,5.75 Score
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Jewish Divorce 6/18/2021
A Jewish says to her mother, "I'm divorcing
Nathan. All he wants is sex, sex and more sex. My vagina is
now the size of a 50-cent piece, when it used to be the size
of a 5-cent piece."
Her mother says, "You're married to a multi-millionaire
businessman! You live in an 8-bedroom mansion! You drive
a $250, 000 Ferrari! You get $2, 000 a week allowance!
You take 6 vacations a year and ...
2 Comments, 195 Views,
11 Votes
,5.41 Score
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family 6/17/2021
this guy tells his father that he just got engaged to
audrey from across the street.
<br>
please wish me well.
<br>
the father tells his that, sorry, but i had an affair
with audrey and it wouldnt be right for you to marry her.
<br>
so the breaks off the engagement and is devastated.
<br>
as time goes by he gets engaged to another girl, susan. ...
2 Comments, 405 Views,
13 Votes
,2.81 Score
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What his wife's name was... 6/16/2021
A man asked an American Indian what his wife's name
was...
He replied, "She is called Four ."
The man said, "That's an unusual name for your
wife. What does it mean?"
The Old Indian answered, "It is an old Indian Name.
It means....
Nag ...... nag ...... nag ...... nag
2 Comments, 150 Views,
9 Votes
,3.21 Score
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Just for points 11/21/2021
👍
1 Comments, 14 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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Mensa Question 6/29/2021
You are on a , galloping at a constant speed.
On your right side is a sharp drop off.
And on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same
speed as you.
Directly in front of you is another galloping but
your is unable to overtake it.
Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the
in front of you.
What must you do to safely get ...
1 Comments, 131 Views,
7 Votes
,3.80 Score
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Dumbest 6/26/2021
As a young boy enters a barber shop the barber whispers to
his customer's. This is the dumbest in the world. Watch while I prove
it to you."
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters
in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which
do you want, ?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That
never learns!" ...
1 Comments, 137 Views,
5 Votes
,3.47 Score
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RETIRED 6/25/2021
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on
her trips to Target.
Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring
and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate,
my wife is like most women - she loves to browse, so I had to
learn to while away my time.
Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from
the local Target:
Dear Mrs. ...
1 Comments, 130 Views,
4 Votes
,4.80 Score
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Dark Closet 6/25/2021
A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover
comes over, she
puts her nine year old in the closet. One day the woman
hears a car in
the driveway and puts her lover in the closet as well.
<br>
Inside the closet, the little boy says, "It's
dark in here, isn't it?"
"Yes, it is, " the man replies.
"You wanna buy a baseball?" the little boy asks.
"No thanks, " the man ...
1 Comments, 199 Views,
11 Votes
,2.79 Score
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A Slighty Confused 6/24/2021
A comes home from school and asks her mother "Is
it true what Rita just told me? Babies come out of the same
place where boys put their dicks?" "Yes, dear" replies her mother, pleased that
the subject had finally come up and she wouldn't have
to explain it to her . "But then when I have a baby, " responded the
"won't it knock my teeth out?"
1 Comments, 184 Views,
8 Votes
,3.48 Score
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Take Your Choice 6/23/2021
A husband, one bright sunny morning, turns to his lovely
wife, "Wife, we're going fishing this weekend,
you, me and the dog." The wife grimaces, "But I don't like fishing!"
"Look! We're going fishing and that's final."
"Do I have to go fishing with you... I really don't
want to go!" "Right I'll give you three choices... 1 You come
fishing with me and the dog... 2 You give me a BLOW JOB....
3 or ...
1 Comments, 184 Views,
3 Votes
,4.41 Score
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Dogs at the Vets 6/22/2021
Two dogs at the vets. 1st says to the other dog 'What
you here for?' 2nd says 'I keep rubbing myself
up my owners leg so he's having my balls cut off'.
'Ooch' says the first dog. 2nd says 'What
you here for then?'. 1st says 'Look at my owner
she's beautiful, perfect beasts, a tight arse, abosolutely
fabulous. Well she was bending over cleaning the oven ...
1 Comments, 49 Views,
10 Votes
,3.98 Score
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Moral of the story 6/29/2021
On the farm lived a chicken and a , both of whom loved
to play together. One day, the two were playing when the
fell into a bog and began to sink. Scared for his life,
the whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for
help!Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at
the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to
no avail, for he had gone to town with the only ...
0 Comments, 33 Views,
3 Votes
,3.92 Score
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Family Fun 6/29/2021
A husband, one bright sunny morning, turns to his lovely
wife, "Honey, we're going fishing this weekend,
you, me and the dog."
The wife grimaces, "But I don't like fishing!"
"Look! We're going fishing and that's final."
"Do I have to go fishing with you... I really don't
want to go!" "Right I'll give you three choices... 1 You come
fishing with me and the dog... 2 You give me a BLOW ...
0 Comments, 194 Views,
4 Votes
,1.30 Score
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LIL' JOHNNY 6/29/2021
A man was helping one of his cows give birth, when he noticed
4-year-old Little Johnny standing wide-eyed at the fence,
soaking in the whole event.
The man thought, "Great... he's 4 and I'm
gonna have to start explaining the birds and the bees. No
need to jump the gun - I'll just let him ask, and I'll
answer."
After everything was over, the man walked over to his
and said, ...
0 Comments, 71 Views,
3 Votes
,3.43 Score
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Take Your Choice 6/26/2021
A husband, one bright sunny morning, turns to his lovely
wife, "Wife, we're going fishing this weekend,
you, me and the dog." The wife grimaces, "But I don't like fishing!"
"Look! We're going fishing and that's final."
"Do I have to go fishing with you... I really don't
want to go!" "Right I'll give you three choices... 1 You come
fishing with me and the dog... 2 You give me a BLOW JOB....
3 or ...
0 Comments, 118 Views,
3 Votes
,3.43 Score
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Deer Roping 6/26/2021
Deer Roping > I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it
in a stall,
> feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it
and eat it. The
> first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured
that since
> they congregated at my cattle feeder and do not seem
to have much fear
> of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come
right up and ...
0 Comments, 77 Views,
2 Votes
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CATHOLIC HORSES???? 6/24/2021
One day while he was at the track playing the ponies and
all but losing his shirt, Mitch noticed a priest who stepped
out onto the track and blessed the forehead of one of the
horses lining up for the 4th race.
Lo and behold, that - a very long shot - won the race.
Before the next race, as the horses began lining up, Mitch
watched with interest the old priest step onto the ...
0 Comments, 58 Views,
3 Votes
,4.41 Score
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little boy caught pulling 6/19/2021
One day a little boy was in the bathroom beating off when
his dad walked into the bathroom and caught him. The dad
told his ", I told you if you keep doing that
you are going to go blind".
the little boy replied, "DAD I am over here"!
0 Comments, 53 Views,
16 Votes
,4.89 Score
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