How important is physical attraction to you in a sexual relationship

5/8/2014

“When she's abandoned her moral center and teachings...when
she's cast aside her facade of propriety and lady-like
demeanor...when I have so corrupted this fragile thing
and brought out a writhing, mewling, bucking, wanton
for my enjoyment and pleasure.....enticing from within
this feral lioness...growling and scratching and biting...taking
everything I dish out to her.....at that moment she is never
more beautiful to me. ” Marquis de Sade

I knew a submissive once… a woman to be sure I would have
never chosen for myself on her physical attributes alone.
She would offer stories of her depravity, lessons from
her dominant, her thoughts and feelings in her submission.


This woman would have me lust for her and not from what I could
see but the things she made me feel, her effect on my life.


“The Heart wants what it wants - or else it does not care”
Emily Dickinson

I heard once to vote with your head, vote with your heart,
and vote with your gut but there was another who simplified
this process with the phrase vote with your crotch

Let me be clear that I am not abandoning the mortal coil
as it were, if anything I wish to draw attention to the fact
that if it were purely on the aspect of looks, I would no longer
be a virgin. In part this explains my own passions, while
I seek out such in both love and lust, I believe the complexities
are focused more on those I lust for rather than those I love.


“He's just a man. A man's gonna be a man. A man
is basically as faithful as his options. That's how
faithful a man is, no more, no less." Chris Rock


For example, when I planned on losing my virginity on my
twenty-ninth birthday, I was still chasing angels but
I had concluded that love was no longer the order of the day.
In that respect my celebration would have been nothing
more but the wet dream of this libertine and thus the proceedings
I had planned, costumes, camcorder, collars, were more
a want than a need. Again if I had a lover I would expect no
less but this would be my first time and to be sure my first
time with someone I love would be less sadism and more…
us.

Yes I am getting off topic but how do I explain finding such
beauty and daring to make one more beautiful and knowing
that no one will see her as beautiful as I will. I often bring
to mind the concepts of exhibitionism and voyeurism as
fetishes but as I have thought out loud after a good porno…
I want a girl so beautiful that I don’t want to make a porno
with her.

Beauty and sex appeal are not mutually exclusive but they
do differentiate from time to time, for example lying in
bed with a lover, is beautiful. If I were to take that same
beauty wearing a “Hunger Games” jacket, hair
in a braid and have her begging for Peeta that would be sex
appeal. Putting them together would be less the moment
itself and more my feelings, I abhor when beauty is spurned
or made ugly, but I have no investment in meaningless sex,
both make me feel somewhat ashamed but with the one I love…


I did not love that submissive but that I knew of her wantonness
and the fact that I knew her as a person, a mother, a writer,
and the like, made her beautiful. She made me want her not
only for looks but all she is, not just any woman could do
such.

How frequently the prospect or the paradigm of the perfect
girl for me comes up… the physical is a construct I wish
to fill with such ideations if she does not already have
knowledge of such but physically…

I imagine young strictly on the grounds that in all honesty
I didn’t date in my youth… eighteen to twenty-eight
and that submissive was actually in her thirties. Brunettes
are my favorite, a close second brownish red or Auburn,
dirty blondes, blondes, girls with black hair, and finally
Hentai colors depending on the girl. With almost certainty
I’ll be with a Caucasian woman, I wonder if I’ll ever
find another perfect Boricua and once upon a time I had a
thing for Asian women.

Beggars can’t be choosers, Christian Grey had
it made