Where all life begins...
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Posted:Dec 20, 2013 10:39 am
Last Updated:Dec 25, 2013 6:48 pm
2038 Views
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A day or two ago I was having a conversation with a friend of mine. Over time we have enjoyed the benefit of each others company, and know many of the intimate details of each others lives. She had commented to me that one of her recent partners had expressed a lack of interest in performing oral sex. Now being the enlightened lady that she is, her point of view was that if you don't want to do it you should not, and they moved on to other more mutually enjoyable activities. (Good for her)
Similarly, years ago I was chatting with another friend who told me a story that she and her husband had made with each other along with another couple. (Bit confusing there - each couple made a bet with their own spouse.) The bet itself is not important, what I found interesting was that the loser would be forced to perform oral sex upon their partner. The tone and emphasis in the conversation was that this would be a major hardship.
Now allow me to preface my thoughts with the idea that I live my life in a "live and let live" mode, and that whatever boundaries, limits, or preferences two (or more) people have established amongst themselves is their own business. That being said I have no understanding of the mindset illustrated in the above. None. (Provided the person is healthy and reasonably clean.)
I love to perform oral sex. End of sentence, no qualifiers, just a simple statement. Truth be told I enjoy a wide range of sexual activity, but pleasuring a woman with my mouth will always hold a special place in my heart (as well as other places.) Pleasuring her in this way is not done as an activity for the purpose of "paying in", so that I can get mine later. This is not simply a warm up for the "main event." Pleasuring a woman with my mouth (and fingers, and nose, and cheeks, and...) is an event of an to itself. I love to able to focus my full attention on my partner, I love finding all the little spots that make them moan, squirm, and sigh. I love taking her to the edge, and then heading off in a new direction, only to return to the edge again soon after. I love pushing her over the edge, feeling her ride the wave of pleasure until she has reached her limit, then stopping and feeling her relax as she comes down from the high. Although many times I am not so much stopping, as it is more like pausing because I love to help my partner to push past her limits and explore what is on the other side. Eventually I will stop, and eventually my partner will come down from their high.
As far as I am concerned the sexual activities for the night could go no further, and I would still be satisfied, because I get a high of my own from my partner's high. Most of the time however, once my partner has recovered, we move on to other fun activities, and that is wonderful, and those activities can stand on their own.
So what is my point? The point is not that there is something wrong with these other people, and they should change in some way. The point is (as my handle suggests) Different Strokes for Different Folks. One size does not fit all. I accept that there are people who see the world differently, and that take pleasures in different thing - however some of these differences I simply do not understand.
Fortunately I don't have to.
"Laz"
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One Size Fits All
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Posted:Apr 16, 2011 8:53 am
Last Updated:Feb 19, 2017 5:49 pm
2853 Views
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While in my life as a whole, I may not have achieved balance, I find more and more that this concept that pervades my sexual thinking - at least my thinking regarding the interaction between playmates/partners.
Balance.
I enjoy taking the lead and being in charge, but I also enjoy following and discovering adventures determined by others. I really enjoy giving, but I would be lying if I said that I did not also enjoy receiving as well. I enjoy raw passionate animalistic sex, but also find that I enjoy slow sensual caressing and love-making. This list goes on and on, and I find that there are very few times when I settle in on only one area of the spectrum of options for extended periods of time. It depends upon the mood and the situation.
For me, the natural offshoot of this is that I am also a fan of a single standard or set of rules. What is good for the goose is good for the gander.
In this context I find it an interesting paradox that there are people who expect oral sex from their partner, but are less than willing to return the pleasure. That there are people who enjoy cumming in their partner's mouth, but find it disgusting to kiss them afterwards seems really odd. This list also goes on and on, and while the preceding list may not apply to many, far more seem to fall into the "trap" of finding two women sexually involved to be hot, sexy, and erotic, but are unwilling to apply the same adjectives to two men involved sexually. This glaring double standard seems out of place to me.
In for a penny in for a pound. If one situation is sexy, why are not both situations sexy. Or, if you find one situation to be not your cup of tea, does not the same standard apply to the other situation.
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Paradoxical Perceptions of Sex Toys.....
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Posted:Jun 25, 2010 8:07 pm
Last Updated:Feb 19, 2017 5:49 pm
3263 Views
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Another in the random thought category:
While I would be quick to argue that stereotypes and cliches should not be used to view all people, and are no substitute for actually getting to know individuals... stereotypes and cliches exist for a reason - frequently there is at least an element of truth to them somewhere.
With that as a preamble, consider this paradox.
The stereotype or cliche is that men (in general) are more technological than women. Not simply comfortable with technology, but the engineering and inventing of technology.
The stereotype is that men are more overtly sexual, ie: sex for sex sake than women - more likely to me comfortable with little or no emotional connection.
With these two stereotypes or cliches in place - why is it that there are so many sex toys for women with such great variety, and so few sex toys for men, with so little variation. It would seem that based upon the cliches, that men would have invented a wild range of toys to please themselves in a myriad of ways by now, and yet there are comparatively few options in this market, and most of what does exist is primitive at best.
I have a number of thoughts on why this is true, and certainly one could argue the validity of the stereotype and cliche at length, but this seems like an area where things don't quite add up properly,
But as Dennis Miller was so fond of saying - "That's just my opinion, I could be wrong."
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A Thought on Condoms, or The Difference between the Goose and the Gander.
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Posted:Apr 9, 2010 9:21 pm
Last Updated:Feb 19, 2017 5:49 pm
2943 Views
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Before I begin, I find it necessary to note that I am in favor of the use of condoms in a "recreational" sex environment, and as a possible birth control method.
That being said, a thought occurred to me the other day, and this seems like a good forum to share the thought.
At the risk of speaking in broad generalities, I think it would be fair to say that very few men like to wear a condom. In a slightly less broad generality, there are a number of (non-condom-wearing) people who ask what the big deal is. If you are one of these people, or are confronted with this question, consider this simple experiment as a way a revealing what the fuss is all about.
First take your hand and stroke your favorite furry pet (dog, cat, or whatever.) Similarly, close your eyes and have someone (not the pet) stroke your hair. Take mental note of these sensations, both as the pet-er and the pet-ee.
Next put on a thin latex glove. Once again stroke your favorite pet. Likewise, have your helper someone put on a thin latex glove and once again stroke your hair. Take mental note of these sensations.
I would venture to say that two things reveal themselves as a result of this experiment. As the pet-ee, there is a comparatively small difference between being stoked by a gloved hand and an un-gloved hand. However, there is a significant sensation difference when petting with a gloved hand vs. an un-gloved hand.
I believe that it is this difference that leads to the two reactions to the use of a condom. Like the latex glove on the hand, there is a significant sensation change disparity between the wearer and the non-wearer.
Once again, I am not advocating the non-use of condoms. I am however saying that unlike latex gloves on the hand, in a heterosexual setting it is impossible to walk a mile in the other's shoes, and that the change of sensation between for each of the parties involved might be radically different.
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The unaccompanied but married male.
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Posted:Nov 7, 2005 7:42 am
Last Updated:Feb 19, 2017 5:49 pm
2889 Views
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I have seen several writings makeing a distiction between a SINGLE GUY and a MARRIED GUY PLAYING ALONE.
As a married guy playing alone, I would like to know if there is a sub category within my group.
I have the full support of my wife. She is willing to confirm my "eligibility" status, and would even like to socialize with any playmates that I might find. It seems to me that this is a significant difference from the generic married guy playing alone.
Truth be told I make the same distinction for MARRIED WOMEN PLAYING ALONE. If she is playing with the understanding of her partner, then lets see what develops. If she is playing on the sly, I am sure she will find plenty of playmates, but I am not looking to be one of them.
One "standard" for me will be just fine.
But that is just my opinion, I could be wrong.
"Laz"
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